I've stopped caring

Sometimes I feel like everyone would be happier if I wasn't around...

It really frustrates me when one of my friends comes along and basically takes a friend from me. Like, we were friends, and our friendship meant something to me, but then you dropped me for my other friend.

I shouldn't care this much, but I do.

Talking to someone about how I had to cancel photo shoots because the model/client had covid, and that I still worry about it. Even though I'm vaccinated, boosted, and the OG covid, and she's like "it's all bull shit anyway" and my first thought was "oh no, she's stupid."

Repeat after me...

"I am not the main character."

Just because someone does something the same way you did it, does not make yours any less special.

You have this need to be shamed by people and it's a real problem. Everything that happens is not God punishing you, you need to stop acting like it. Giving shitty people a weapon to use against you, and then being upset when they do is not good for you.

Seeing Facebook posts from 11 years ago, it seems this girl I was crushing on did have some interest in me, but things just never happened. She was very flirty, but kept putting off hanging out. I remember I really liked her at that time. I wonder how different things would have been if we had gotten together.

I'm sure we wouldn't have stayed together, I'm just noticing, along from a few other conversations I've had recently, I actually had a shot with some women in high school, I just didn't have the self confidence.

Wouldn't be in this problem if you would just read shit before putting money down.

All I ever wanted was to be your friend. You had no problem cutting me out of your life. Now you want to just walk back in with a vague explanation of “misplaced anger”? I’m not going to pretend everything is okay because you’ve been “working on yourself.” You don’t get to fuck with people and act like everything is okay.

It’s like I’m not allowed to enjoy my weekend, because you’re not allowed to enjoy your weekend.

You can still enjoy content made by people that are terrible.

I'm not going to stop enjoying Louis CK, or the DC tv shows, or House of Cards, because of something that happened that is unrelated to the content itself.

It's okay to enjoy something made by a creep or sexist or even rapist. Because once art is created and released it no longer belongs to the person that made it.

It belongs to us.

It belongs to the fans.

So do you not want to work with me now that you know I'm half white?

So my brother and I have been getting a lot closer over the last few weeks.

My brother was always very liberal. And recently he’s been moving more to the right.

Almost every night for the last few weeks we’ve been discussing politics, and it’s amazing. I feel so much closer to him knowing he’s not blindly following one political ideology. That you can be passionate about things on both sides and it’s not bad.

Can I tell you the thing that annoys me about the athletes that protest?

When it starts, it’s rarely the star athletes that do it. At least in the beginning. And that, to me is an issue. Because to me it doesn’t look like someone protesting, it’s someone trying to get their name around. And then it takes a while for the star players to do it too. And then it feels like they’re doing it because there’s pressure to do it.

Because this all comes back around to being negative on the other side.

Because then they start asking the athletes if they’re going to protest too. So basically they pressure the athletes to do it also even if they didn’t want to at the beginning.

But honestly, in general, I really don’t care if people protest during the anthem. Other than the fact that I fully support people’s right to protest, the people that complain about it often don’t respect the flag or what it stands for themselves.

And I’m not going to say that I’m perfect, I’m just using my ability to complain about motive. Because that is the thing that grinds my gears. Motives should be more pure. Lastly, if you’re going to protest during the anthem, you better be doing something about it when you’re out of your uniform.

You're crazy. Like you need help.

So I'm just supposed to be okay with everyone shitting on working full time 3-11. That's my schedule. So what am I supposed to do, just say it's okay to shit on my work schedule? Fuck off. You're such a bitch.

You're going to go through life thinking people don't like you because you've got crazy hair, and piercings, and tattoos. But that's not it. It's because you're a bitch.