I am more afraid of disappointing myself than I am of failing. 

Tonights vibes

Ron:Bye Bye Macadam

•consistency •minimize •focus •create

I´ll never forget the moment I saw the Eiffel Tower for the first time. We were driving over the bridge into Paris and I could just make it out between the buildings and trees.

I wasn’t even aware of how loud I screamed until or that i´d started crying until Z asked me if I was ok. I couldn’t put into words what I was feeling so I just sat there crying while trying to catch my breath.

But I wasn’t just ok a dream I’d had for years was finally a reality. In that moment I’d fully understood that I will achieve everything I want out of life as long as I fight for it.

i love myself i embrace myself i accept myself

keeping it simple

this weekend someone i care about invited me to an event she was being honored in. i was more than happy to show my support, but it also meant going somewhere i didn't want to be and being around people i'd let go of. i went anyway because it meant a lot to her. what surprised me was how much i'd grown since leaving. i've traveled, i am focused, i'm in love with myself and a great guy. there are people and relationships i miss, but i can't ignore that there are also people who'd let me down and hurt me to the point where my health was affected. there is no negativity or drama in my life. and i am in no way interested in inviting it back.

i love looking back and being able to see things about myself i'd overlooked or taken for granted.

one more time yes, i cut my hair again. no, i do not want to listen to you telling me how much you miss my hair. yes, saying "you like me better with hair but i'm still pretty without it" is a back handed compliment. no, i don't care what you think either way. yes, you are passing your insecurities on to me when you constantly tell me to grow it out. no, i don't need a reason for cutting it other than simply wanting to. yes, i will walk away from you when you won't let it go. no, you may not touch my head. yes, i'm still straight. and no, i will not be more understanding of your proclaimed right over my body. instead, i will wonder why you take so much interest in me when you should be making more independent decisions with your life and how you look.

the break i took from being online was necessary but it always means i have to start all over. it kinda sucks but i do enjoy it at the same time.

today has been a huge day for me. i have so many things in motion that i was starting to feel overwhelmed and that i wouldn't be able to achieve all (any) of it. but i have the most amazing support system. i am focused. i am energized. i am ready.

reminder: stay present

fall 2015

in a dark lipstick phase.