don’t worry, you’re still in the “early life” part of your wikipedia page

cool

You can only reblog this today.

I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again

are you ready for my favorite fact?

If you leave a hamster wheel out in the forest, wild mice will come and run on it.

that is my favorite fact

Bobcats and lynx will sit in cardboard boxes abandoned in the middle of the forest.

I asked the lynx researcher who told me this why, and he said “Cats, man” and shrugged.

This is now an “if I fits, I sits” appreciation thread.

anxiety: ur gonna be late!!! get there early

me: *is 15 mins early*

anxiety: no ones here ur in the wrong place!!!

do people miss me I can’t imagine myself as a person others think about

humans are so cute, when we say goodbye we put our arms around each other and to show we love someone we bring them flowers. we suck the cum out of peoples dicks like a gogurt. we say hello by holding each other’s hand, and sometimes tiny little dewdrops form in our eyes. for pleasure we listen to arrangements of sounds, press our lips together, smoke dried leaves, get drunk off of old fruit. we’re all just little animals, falling in love and having breakfast beneath billions of stars

we suck the what out of what like what now

fishing is dope you just lie to animals

damn im hungry time to go emotionally manipulate some fish

u can tell who the ancients of tumblr are bc they’re the ones not posting anything abt where to find them if this site collapses…we know this site isnt going anywhere….the apocalypse couldnt stop this garbage…..it has the cybernetic code of a cockroach

those of us who’ve been on tumblr 5+ years: 

i think part of the reason why i love disney’s hercules so much is that the idea of a sassy hades resounds so deeply with me as a person who has siblings. like imagine if you were rich as fuck and had to live in what’s basically the flooded basement of the entire world while your brothers fart around banging everything in sight. if i had to live in a literal swamp and listen to stories about poseidon turning into a horse to get sexy with demeter i’d probably have no fucking patience too

zeus: hey assfuck have you seen demeter’s kid

hades:

in this gay and age,

hmmm

This is what they like to call Environmental Storytelling

there’s an ariana stan on twitter who got her phone taken off her and is accessing it thru any device she can find lmaoooo

you cannot make this shit up

free our girl dorothy

honey children never wake

dreaming

of bathing in the sun, digging bare hands

in crushed chrysanthemums & giggling

at the purple dust staining our palms.

dirty feet bump into each other

as our toes burrow into wet sand.

twinkling, glazed eyes follow seagulls

playfully wrestling in foamy clouds.

we turn our heads towards each other

watching

tangled hair swaying in the breeze

like grass blades dancing

under summer moons coaxing out

starry stories hidden beneath

our thumping hearts.

new job.