history meme | [8/9] kings/queens: empress theodora
Theodora I was the wife of Emperor Justinian I, ruler of the Byzantine Empire from 527 to 565.
Various sources indicate different origins for Theodora, including Cyprus, Syria, and Paphlagonia (modern day Turkey), however it is known that her father was a bear trainer in Constantinople and that she also worked as an actress and prostitute in the city. At the age of 16, Theodora began travelling, living in places such as Cyrenaica (Libya), Alexandria, and Macedonia. She eventually returned to Constantinople at 22, where she drew the eye of Justinian. Justinian intended to marry Theodora, however laws prevented government officials - especially those next in line to throne - from marrying actresses. Upon Empress Euphemia’s death (who was against the match), Emperor Justin repealed the law and the two married.
Theodora proved a worthy and able leader. During the Nika riots (a clash between two rival political groups that resulted in buildings set on fire and a new emperor declared), Theodora spoke out against plans to leave the palace and flee. She told them, “purple makes a fine shroud” - i.e, it is better to die as an emperor than live in hiding. Inspired by her words, Justinian sent troops to attack and kill the rebels, saving his reign - however Justinian and historians agree it was Theodora’s speech that saved his throne. She also built many arches, bridges, and churches, most notably the Hagia Sophia. She participated in legal and spiritual reforms: laws were passed prohibiting forced prostitution; brothels were closed; mothers were given guardianship rights over their children; and the death penalty was instituted for rape, among many other laws.
Theodora died in 548 at the age of 48, probably due to breast cancer. It is said that Justinian “wept bitterly” at her funeral and the city of Olbia in Cyrenaica renamed itself ‘Theodorias’ after the empress.
Gomez gives out better relationship advice than like 90% of dudes.
Gomez Addams is a suave motherfucker who loves his wife more than his own life.
Everyone should want a Gomez. He’s p cool.
Gomez and Morticia Addams actually have a very loving and extremely healthy relationship, both in the old TV show and in the more recent movies. They were also one of the first television couples to be shown to have an active (albeit offscreen) sex life. Their frank attitude towards sexuality was shocking in its’ time, but their relationship and their family dynamic is actually more functional and more…dare I say it…sane than most families portrayed on TV.
The comedy in the show came from the family’s “odd” lifestyle, rather than from infighting and petty bickering, or worse, as was common on other shows of the time, thinly veiled references to spousal abuse. They didn’t make fun of each other or act like their children were creatures from another world. Were they strange and outside of social norms? Yes. Were they united in creating a loving home and being good, supportive parents? Absolutely.
These two support and adore their children, care for an aging mother and an estranged brother, put family before everything, and they love each other, wholly, fiercely, without reserve. They are every bit as much in love after at least a decade of marriage as they were the day they met.
Relationship goals. LIFE goals.
Just remembered in the second movie when their third child became “normal” for a period and although they were shocked and didn’t know how to handle it, they didn’t mistreat the child or love it any less. They accepted the difference, even though it was hard for them.
Reblogged for truth.
❤️❤️❤️
Posts about Gomez and Morticia Addams are almost always uplifting and I’m happy to have them on my dash, but I think my favorite bit about this conversation is what Gomez is actually saying to Fester.
It’s nobody’s surprise that many of the aesthetic and thematic elements of The Addams Family in its various incarnations are influenced by Gothic tradition (not goth, that mostly came later. And not Goth, that was much much much too early), and I think Gomez’s words are a dead bullseye in terms of Gothic mentality.
“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”
The sublime is a recurring theme throughout Gothic literature. Although the word (like “awesome”) has lost a lot of it’s original luster over the intervening decades, sublime doesn’t really mean elevated and lofty (or even heavenly) as it’s often used today, but rather something possessing the power and grandeur to induce awe and veneration in the mind of the beholder. Although less than divine, something sublime possessed a wildness and power that transcended human ability to control…or even to comprehend.
Sublime is standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon leaning as far as you dare over the railing and still not being able to see the canyon floor below. Sublime is warrior-queen Galadriel being tempted by the One Ring. Sublime is waking up in the middle of the night in the heart of a wild thunderstorm.
“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”
Gomez isn’t advising Fester to treat a woman he fancies like a princess, or even elevate her to pedestal of angelic nature (who’s idea was it to equate femininity with purity anyway? What a laughable and historically damaging idea. Shame on whatever dead (probably) white dudes promoted that!)
Gomez is advising Fester that if he truly loves a woman he must do everything he can to remind her of how she’s an untameable force of nature who’s grandeur brings him to his knees in awe and terror. Just like Morticia, for Gomez.
I’ll sign off with one of my most favorite quotes of all time, because it feels suddenly very relevant:
“When I find myself surrounded by so much beauty, I feel as if I am the eye of a hurricane.”
- -Sanjay Kulkarni
Reblogging for the commentary on the Sublime
Goals
I will never stop loving this post
Babylonian era problems. (photo via tbc34)
old school hate mail
Imagine how pissed you have to be to engrave a rock
Ok but there was this guy called Ea-nasir who was a total crook and would actually cheat people ought of good copper and sell them shit instead. The amount of correspondences complaining to and about this guy are HILARIOUS.
Are you telling me we know about a specific guy who lived 5000 years ago, by name, because he was a huge asshole
More like 4000 years ago but yes. Ea-nasir and his dodgy business deals.
And we haven’t even touched on the true hilarity of the situation yet. Consider two additional facts:
- He wasn’t just into copper trading. There are letters complaining about Ea-nasir’s business practices with respect to everything from kitchenwares to real estate speculation to second-hand clothing. The guy was everywhere.
- The majority of the surviving correspondences regarding Ea-nasir were recovered from one particular room in a building that is believed to have been Ea-nasir’s own house.
Like, these are clay tablets. They’re bulky, fragile, and difficult to store. They typically weren’t kept long-term unless they contained financial records or other vital information (which is why we have huge reams of financial data about ancient Babylon in spite of how little we know about the actual culture: most of the surviving tablets are commercial inventories, bills of sale, etc.).
But this guy, this Ea-nasir, he kept all of his angry letters - hundreds of them - and meticulously filed and preserved them in a dedicated room in his house. What kind of guy does that?
[ source ]
what did this bird do
I wish i had context on this
here u go
I don’t think the contexts helps in this case.
I’ve been collecting these for a while so here are all the ones you missed
I’ve had the ‘I’d sell you to Satan for one corn chip’ picture saved on my computer for years, and I have NEVER SEEN THE REST OF THESE.
I’m so pleased.
I have this book, and it is one of the funniest things in my life.
Thor Odinson: God of Thunder and Feminist Icon
Bugs Bunny could singlehandedly defeat Thanos by dressing up as a TSA agent and setting up a metal detector in the middle of the battlefield saying that all metal objects must be removed if you want to pass on through now stick around for my 2,000 word essay on just how effectively he would convince The Mad Titan to comply
“For shame, doc! Dontcha know we got other folks waiting?”
(Thanos looks behind him and sees dozens of Bugs Bunnies dressed as angry yelling travelers with huge bags of luggage. Thanos rubs his neck guiltily and begins sliding off the gauntlet)
I felt compelled
(via My favorite D&D story)
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING
I have reblogged this before and will again.
THIS IS SO CUTE
Gonna keep a tally of messages I get from a) white feminists completely proving my point and b) people who think this comic proves feminism is worthless because I criticized one part of it. (Even despite me writing these words underneath the comic.) Then I’ll add them all up, see which column has more, and then drink myself to sleep either way.
Haha… this is why we can’t have nice things.
Rerun for those who could use it on today’s International Women’s Day.
i’m dying that robert downey jr posted this on his official facebook 😂😂😂
credit: hisduckling on youtube
Check out my cat’s amazing meow
i was in no way prepared for this
Level 1: Prophecy proclaims that no man can kill villain; killed by woman.
Level 2: Prophecy proclaims that no weapon can harm villain; pushed down stairs and dies.
Level 3: Prophecy proclaims that villain will be brought low by no mortal hand; kicked to death by angry mob.
Level 4: Prophecy proclaims that no power on Earth shall be villain’s undoing; fatally distracted by sun in eyes.
Level 5: Prophecy proclaims that only power of laughter can defeat villain; beat up by clown.
Oh my god, food extract is not the same as an essential oil.
Food extract is the flavoring of something cooked down into a carrier oil or alcohol that is safe for human ingestion.
Essential oil is the pure extract of the plant refined down and distilled for concentrated medicinal purposes to a significantly higher strength than simply adding ground up mint leaves to your water. The two are not comparable in any way.
Cinnamon extract and cinnamon essential oil are not the same thing.
One is about 100 times the strength of the other and can also cause acute organ failure. I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the food extract.
Sweet gods I’m not trying to be mean, I want you to be aware and safe and stop putting yourselves and others at risk. Please.
My sister put lavender essential oil in a cake once instead of lavender extract once and her whole house smelled like a day spa had gotten into manufacturing tear gas. We literally couldn’t enter the kitchen for a few days becuase the remanent chemical would make out eyes burn.
Essential oils are not interchangable with food extracts, and should be used with care. Be safe kids!