We Aren't As Strong As We Think - That's Okay.
Newsflash, friends, we’re human. Whether we admit it or not, we are all going through something painful, something we have to come to terms with and face at this very moment. Each of us just have a unique way of showing it. And I’m not sure about you guys but I think it’s about time we stopped lying to ourselves and others by using the words, “yes! I’m okay! I’m strong, I can do this, I’m not broken whatsoever. I. Don’t. Need. Help.” fake much? Come on, they are all lies that society has bludgeoned into our naive brains. It pressures everyone else who isn’t as “strong” to do the same thing that you’re faking for the world to cut the edge off your own pain.
To be strong looks good to the outside and to be strong feels good but let’s be honest, if we don’t really believe that we’re strong, if we don’t have it standing tall during the storms, what good does it do? It only breaks us more.
You. Can. Only. Be. Strong. For. So. Long. before one past event, one regret, one mistake, one fight, one dark night, one temptation can shatter it all and you’re left standing on the edge of a cliff staring into the eyes of death.
It’s time now that we let go of it all, let ourselves feel the pain, yes, my God it hurts, it’s extremely painful and you just can’t possibly imagine making it through the night but it’s better to face the pain head on all at once than to bottle it all up, bury it for a short time until those nightmares come back, you feel that traumatic pain once more. It never goes away, it just hid while you thought you were so strong. That doesn’t make anything better. It only hurts you more and more and more until you’re on the verge of what you think is the end. I don’t believe it’s gotta be this way.
I know that I can’t be as strong as what many people think I am, I know that I lose sight of what matters, I know that I’ve felt so low, so weak, so hopeless, so worthless, so in pain, would’ve done anything to be at peace, even if it meant ending my life, wishing it was over because let’s face it, we ALL have felt this exact way before, but it no way does it mean that I don’t want to overcome my situations and keep pushing towards the light. Happiness is a beautiful thing when it is truly shown to you and you can truly look up, smile, & say, “I’m happy. I did it. I made it another day when I wanted to die. Life is finally better for me, for my family.”
"I can do all things through Christ who empowers me; strengthens me." - Philippians 4:13
Christian or not. Religious or not. I do not care. We’ve most likely heard this verse, it’s well known, right? Well the meaning behind it can be interpreted in many many ways. For those who do not know, Philippians was written by one of Jesus’ 12 disciples, Paul. It was written when he was imprisoned for being a Christian. The idea for this verse is larger than we think, let’s look at the big picture here.
Paul isn’t telling us to dream dreams that will move the world, and while there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, what he is trying to tell us is that we can endure the crushing pain and agony that may come if those dreams aren’t succeeded. If what we tried to build up fell apart at the work of our own two hands & we are left in the ashes of yesterday’s dreams. Paul, is not telling us that we must conquer the world but instead when the world is conquering us, dragging us down in it’s evil pits.
Coming unglued and admitting that you aren’t fully strong is glorious, it is okay to say it.
Here is me coming unglued and telling you guys that it’s okay. It’s okay not to be strong. It’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to say we need a helping hand. It’s okay to cry your eyes out and to be at a low point in life, we are only human. But do NOT unpack your bags and live in the pain ands shame. Cry cry cry, pick up what’s left and keep trudging on when you can’t see the light, keep going on. Daylight’s out there somewhere. The dawn is breaking, friends. Remember that the tree can’t grown without rain. We will overcome whatever struggle is happening in our lives that’s out of our hands at this very minute if we just let ourselves go, wake up and let ourselves feel. Trusting that if not God but hope I guess will get you to a brighter tomorrow. Separate the real from the lies and deal with the pain now so that it doesn’t hurt later on. Forgive those who’ve hurt you, hold your head up at the one who bled for you.
I’d be lying to you guys if I didn’t tell you that I have bad days where my depression is so out of control, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t cry & hate myself sometimes but I take it moment by moment. I try to find the good in each bad day. It’s there I promise. You woke up with a beating heart if you’re reading this right now, right? We have to take the good with the bad to remind us that we are humans, we are learning each day, we are real.
My God constantly reminds me when I’m down, “Come, all who are weary, and I will give you rest.”
He gives strength to the powerless.
Hope to the hopeless.
Rest for the weary.
Help for the helpless.
His grace is sufficient for me. It is all I need to find hope in that beautiful tomorrow. Trusting Him. Letting go of me and giving it to Him.