HorseNews

Thank Snowpity, You Can Finally Order a Silver Mare Coin

It's finally here! Looks like OP is getting ready to actually deliver on the commemorative silver coin designed by /mlp/ in the /mlpmg/ threads as ordering has officially been opened on Kickstarter. All you ponyfags who've been waiting to join the ranks of your fellow precious metal collectors can finally trade your increasingly worthless shekels for a coin made of 99.9% pure silver featuring mares. The campaign has already sold almost $35,000 worth of mare coins!

The design process began in the very first thread back in January and proceeded at what felt like a snail's pace before finally being (mostly) completed towards the end of June when the dies were finally ordered from the mint. This was followed by a pre-order form in August that received orders for over 1,000 coins, which at a value of $55 per coin would exceed $55,000. As a result, the organizers became concerned that they had become a bit trapped in a prison of [their] own success and began worrying about relying on the invoice/PayPal system used for other projects like /mppp/ (>>39037318).

Video promoting the project as seen at /mlp/ con 2022

Download the video here

In October, it was announced that a new nonprofit organization named Snowpity, Inc., would take on the /mlpmg/ mare coin minting as one of their projects, as long as all excess funds generated from the campaign would go to its mission statement of ...[raising] funds to rescue, care for, and improve the lives of equines in need; [bringing] together artists to practice and hone their craft of pony art; and [educating] the world about the beauty that resides in every mare. Of the two original organizers of /mlpmg/, one was already a member of the Snowpity Board of Directors and the other joined as a corporate officer and they will both still be in charge of the project, so nothing is expected to change. Snowpity wasn't created for the /mlpmg/ project, but rather some other mysterious future project(s) yet to be announced.

Mysterious mare as seen in the OP announcing Snowpity, Inc.

Obituary: The Queen Has Died

Obituary: Queen Fausticorn Dies at 96 Centuries Old

by Paige Turner, Royal Correspondent

Tribute piece by Anon

The Royal Canterlot press office has confirmed that Fausticorn, oldest living creature in the monarchy, and founder of the nation of Equestria, has passed away at ninety-six centuries old.

The Queen witnessed a tumultuous but very successful reign over her kingdom during her period on the throne, from the official founding after helping to banish the wendigoes to the opening of the borders that allowed all types of ponies to live and prosper in harmony. This also included the large influx of migrants during the first century of her reign from former Imperial territories and the Really Massive War, in which she spent service pulling an ambulance cart.

The entire nation of Equestria is in a state of mourning. She leaves behind a nation with rising costs of living on all sectors and increased racial tension partly due to the current war between the security forces of Mares' Co and the comedy campus town known as U Cryin', led by noted comedian Cheese Sandwich (real name Chaz Sandvichskyy).

She is survived by Celestia and Luna, two recently retired descendants who took over from her over a thousand moons ago. Questions are currently being raised as to who the next Supreme Ruler should be. This will either fall to Celestia's protege Prince Shining Armor as current ruler of the Crystal Empire (married to her Honorary Neice Princess Cadance Parker-Bowels) and his sister Princess Twilight, the ruler of Equestria. The most eligible will have to have the strongest line of succession, a matter of some contention.

This is because Prince Shining only has one child, Flurry Heart, and there are two from Princess Twilight, sometimes known affectionately as Princess Twi-Anna. But one of her children – Nyx – is considered by the public to be too boring and bland, and the other – Spike – is rumored to be ineligible as he looks so different to her that speculation is rife he is not her natural born child, or even the same species.

The Queen existed, like most other monarchs in our nation's history, to serve as as figurehead to fill the place that other, more powerful individuals would use a base for tyranny. In her time she has been seen as the spirit of the entire pony nation, the moral glue that held us together – even those of us who did not like her unelected and unaccountable soft powers of influence – as a symbol of what we are.

She was loved by many. She was idolized, even given cult-like status – much like many of our readers with Twi-anna. She was also hated by many. She was demonized, and even her hatred was given a cult like status. This ranged from genuine anger at her privileged position she inherited from a thousand years of her ancestors subjugating natives at home and abroad, to pseudointellectual TV hosts calling her “the chief monarch of a thieving raping genocidal empire” seemingly forgetting that the governments under her, in more recent times, were at fault as they owned the real power and could depose her if she broke impartiality to speak, giving them absolute power.

This is both the strength and flaw of such a constitutional monarchy, of which she was a symbol. Even if that symbol's true meaning is not clear, it is a symbol of us and our history, and nobody can fail to appreciate the strength of national character that comes from that. At the very least, it can be said she represented a link to past generations, which may explain why it seems so hard for many to adjust. And very easy for so many devotees and critics to take the chance to have spurious arguments on Flutter, helping to further bury the issues that are currently affecting everyone and about to get far worse.

We will of course be covering any drama with the tact and professionalism that can be expected here at Horse News.

The Queen passed away a day after meeting the new Griffish Prime Minister, Liz the Thrush, allegedly suffering from severe electrocutions after the rain from an open window caused the new PM to short circuit. Her final words are recorded as “One must sometimes understand that they cannot get everything one wants, in this case, dying beforehand.”

This author's opinion is merely that despite being a republican, she nevertheless hopes that the kids are okay. Godspeed, you crafty old nag. You got out before things got too horrendous.

The Trot"Con" Fallacy: Anyway, No Refunds

Brony conventions are finally heating up again! COVID appears to be on the decline, and we're finally able to meet up with our horsefriends in person. But as you're buying your tickets, remember to practice that old adage: caveat emptor. One of the newest things conventions are doing is changing their terms of sale after you've bought your ticket (and possibly even after "refund windows" have expired) but before the event is held. If you can't meet these new changes in their terms, their response is often a simple, "Guess you're fucked lol."

TrotCon — a popular fandom convention being held this July in Columbus, OH — is one of these conventions. They recently modified their vaccination policy from requiring attendees be "fully vaccinated" to being "up-to-date," meaning a third shot is now required for most attendees. This change was made after the last refund window closed, and people asking about it are being redirected to this excerpt from their COVID policy FAQ:

Reading this carefully, one will see what they are stating is that they can change anything about their rules and policies before the event and the consumer has no recourse at all, not even a refund. Thus giving themselves unilateral rights to modify a contract without the approval of the other party. They could literally require all attendees shave their heads and you'd have to comply. I'm no lawyer, but this doesn't seem to be normal for a sales contract.

Amending Contracts

So, I did some searching and found that the American Bar Association published an article on this topic (focusing mainly on the End User License Agreements and Terms of Service often found on Web sites) that contained this little nugger concerning more traditional contracts that seems to suggest that type of clause is generally verboten:

Traditional contract doctrine clearly forbids the unilateral modification of contracts and treats a proposed modification as an offer that is not binding until accepted. Although state contract law may vary, there generally are three requirements in traditional contract law for modifying contracts. First, the offeree must have proper notice of the proposed modification. It is axiomatic that no offer can be accepted unless the offeree knows that the offer has been made. In addition, the offeree must manifest assent to the proposed modification in some manner, either explicitly or implicitly.

No Recourse

When attempting to inquire about this policy on their Discord server, their official response was that the only remedies available were to "not purchase a ticket," "not attend," "give your ticket away," or "sell your ticket." I also asked a few times for their terms of sale, but nobody on their server was able to provide a link to me.

What is a consoomer to do when a vendor won't issue a refund they believe they're due? According to the United States Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, consumers can dispute the charge with their credit card issuer (a so-called "chargeback").

Banished to the Moon for Speaking Truth

While I was having this conversation, another user asked about chargebacks and was "warned" for "encouraging commission of a crime (specifically fraud)." Unfortunately, we were unable to capture the exact text of their message before it was removed, but I recall the user was responding to another person asking how they could get a refund, suggesting they might "contact their bank to dispute it."

This behavior by TrotCon staff was perplexing to me since — as posted above — this is precisely the situation where the CFPB recommends disputing charges. I pointed this out in the Discord server by posting a screenshot from their site and was summarily "banished," a state in which I no longer had access to any part of the server except for a "moon" channel where I could chat with the mods and other users who had likewise been locked away in gay baby jail.

I was told by their friendly moderation staff in their "banished" channel that I was "encouraging people to commit fraudulent chargebacks" by posting a screenshot from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau Web site.

TrotCon has not issued any official response to my last message there, only that they "...are discussing this internally, [...] while we sort it out and decide how to handle things." If they ever do get back to me, I will post their response as an edit to this article.

What To Do When a Vendor Refuses a Valid Refund

In conclusion, dear readers, remember that if you feel a vendor is reneging on their sales agreement with you and not providing the product or service for which you paid, you can legally call your bank and request they dispute the charge on your behalf. This is a process that even I have had to resort to in the past, and contrary to what TrotCon wants you to believe, it is not illegal and it is not fraudulent if done in good faith.

And in the future, you may want to be wary of giving money to organizations that have displayed poor fiduciary responsibility (like spending money from ticket sales that should have been in a deferred liability account).

Post-Pandemic Convention Report 3: Ponycon Holland 2021. Part 1.

A Dam Good Time with Dr. Foal Duke

Warning: this following post contains images of mayonnaise.

Back in October, I was able to attend the first convention in the Netherlands since the end of Hearth's Warming Con. The convention itself was rather like its predecessor; quite simple and easygoing, without many over-complications. This made it flexible and was part of the reason they could reschedule from summer of 2020 to October of 2021. But how would the change in season and management affect the convention?

Well, it turns out that it wasn't affected too bad. Apart from the limitations one might expect from a first-time convention, such as new management being overcautious and laying on less events than they could get away with financially, the con was pretty plain sailing. Apart from the crowd's compulsion to shout 'big bong' every time somebody mentioned 'magic' or 'mayonnaise'. And the Dutch love mayonnaise. They keep jars in their pockets. It's the law. Read more after the jump.

You can read about the charity, Muziekids, here, and the con book is here.

Told you.

Day 1: Saturday Events (6th October 2021)

Practical Panels and Ponies with Pancakes

Facts and Figures

Location – Hotel Figi, Zeist, Netherlands

Dates – October 6 – 7, 2021

Attendance – Approx 500.

Charity - Muziekids

Amount Raised – 6740 Euros

Guests – Elley-Ray Hennessey (voice, Mistmane) and Cathy Weseluck (voice, Spike) by video call; Lizemijn Libgott (voice, Fluttershy, Dutch dub) in person, Imalou (designer, Sunny and Izzy), in person with AssassinMonkey (fan artist).

Musicians – Sam Quak, Prince Whateverer, Blackened Blue, BlackIceMusic, Twelve (“Tw3Lv3”)

11:30 – Opening Ceremony

The opening ceremony was short and sweet. After a brief welcome from one of the hosts, Rutger, the curtain fell. As it rose, were treated to a brief sketch starring host Steffy Aurora in pyjamas as he learned the right thing to do in the event of sickness in this pandemic. However, he learned the hard way, as Annenas the vendor manager (starring as a nurse) was forced to take a very, very large needle to the ass

We all laughed, nervously, and checked our phones for notifications on our PCR test results. Which we had to take daily.

12:45 – Panel: Fallout Equestria History

Hosted by Fiaura the Tank Girl – a notable human fandom historian – the panel covered everything you wanted to know about Fallout Equestria, the controversial alternative history series known by the name Mare in the High Castle overseas. In particular, she divulged all manner of interesting titbits relating to her ongoing efforts to adapt it to an audio drama. The process was engaging and the dialogue was talented and authentic.

There was a lot of shop talk on the ups and downs of putting together a radio play, and in particular from Fiaura - a natural diplomat and disciplined individual - all the teamwork and diplomacy this requires and its pitfalls. Somebody asked about how FOE would evolve under G5, and to put it simply, FOE was deliberately left open to interpretation, and as there are references to FOE in G4, an FOE set in G5 could easily work. One reference, as per Jim Millier going on record saying so, is the pegasi closing the clouds in the final episode of G4.

Fiaura talking shop. "And this pony is dead, so is this one and this one..."

14:15 – Activity: Improvisation Session

Hosted by Steffan, and one of the staples of many European conventions, we had a fun hour of improvised comedy, involving tons of audience participation. This was very fun and his skills as a dramatist and improv comic show through in his ability to lead you in and introduce you to the art.

15:00 – Event: Cosplay Competitions

This event was a little more subdued. There were only twelve contestants, and went on for only about half an hour. But there were, as always, some wonderful costumes on display, including a very, very dashing Sombra-themed suit of armor. There was a little bit of acting allowed, and a couple of people worked up the nerve to sing songs... Oh, and regular cosplayer Flutterguy was present.

Rallying the troops.

15:30 – Panel: Voice Acting with Elley-Ray

This was a big draw, and got quite a lot of people in the panel room, which as you can see by the panel below, was large enough to host about 50 seated. This suffered a little bit as a result, and could've been put in the main stage, and allowed more people (acoustics permitting).

Two interesting takeaways from this engaging, and self-affirming panel that stood out to me – firstly, in order to voice act effectively, you need to treat yourself as being with the audience, which helps you remember that you are helping to tell a story to bring them and you joy, for which you need to play. That is, you need to take the time to be creative and play around with ideas, take them apart and combine them in weird ways. This is echoed by veteran voice actor and comic John Cleese - “If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.”

Secondly – eununciation of vowels can be worked on by the use of corkwork, which is literally putting a cork in your mouth as you pronounce words full of vowels. And, to prevent getting into the habit of pronouncing forward too much, you counteract this by sticking a pencil in your mouth, pulling it wide like a frog, and training the smile muscles. Both, daily. That's right – voice acting is physical, bitchachos.

"All together now... EEEEEEEEE... AAAAAAAAAAA."

16:30 – Panel: Cathy Weseluck Video Call

The next big VIP panel of the day, with Spike's voice actor by video call.

She was asked, as always, a lot of interesting and insightful questions. One question that stuck out in my mind – what did she think of Spike's personality? This hasn't been asked much, and gave us a look into her thought processes behind her particular style of acting for the character. She always thought it amusing that every other character referred to him as Brave and Glorious, especially the glorious part, given that his situation is quite opposite (I would guess that means having to put up with Twilight all the time).

Nevertheless she has always seen him as very genuine and hard to pull the wool over. Very much that what you see is what you get, and this allows him to possess a lot of honesty and courage.

And what would she say was her final takeaway from FIM? “How powerful and unifying it was, and still is. In my very long career, I have never experienced a show with this magnitude or kind of effect, and there are always new people seeing it and being affected in a positive way by the virtues it teaches. And it's done so much to bring people away from depression and get them outside, and talking. It's more than just a show.”

This reporter has to agree.

19:45 – The Concert

This wasn't bad for a first concert. I didn't get to attend much because I was off fraternizing with a few friends, racking up a few drinks on the expenses account.

However, it was a pretty fun event. There were some technical difficulties which meant that a couple of sets had to be reordered, and trimmed down for time, but it was a nice variety. The first act, MC Arch, Agatan and Sam Quak (no, that's not a typo) worked will together on stage with a combination of rap and electronic dance music. They played well off each other, operating on the same wavelength very well, and it was interesting to see them perform all together, which is a first if I recall correctly.

These served as a taster for what came next – Sam Quak striking out on his own, with an exciting series of electronic pieces that formed a surreal and vivid soundscape, judging by the noises of approval from the attendees. He alternated between high and low energy pieces pretty well, giving would be jumpers and dancers a moment of respite so they could keep going.

After this came Prince Whateverer's set. Now, you all know most of his songs, and he pulled out all the classics – Solidarity, of course, and Remember Me. Harmonizing well with Blackened Blue on lyrics, especially on this song, and with support from Deus (one of the organizers of Germany's Everfree Encore), the crowd were left feeling pretty electric after.

This continued on into the night, with Blackened Blue helping a segue from rock into metal, helping energize the crowd further. Then, to round off, came Black Ice Music with a nice mix of House music and mid-noughties Melbourne Bounce, and Tw3Lv3, with a medley of electronic hits.

I left tired, and happy that people were so buzzed, they never even said 'bing bong' once.

Post-Pandemic Convention Report 3: Ponycon Holland 2021. Part 2.

Day 2: Sunday Events

6740 Euros raised for MuzieKids... Imalou Spills the Beans... Con to Return 1 & 2 Oct 2022

Day Two of Ponycon Holland was no less laid back than the first, and while events were a little more sparse, there was more flexibility for fans to enjoy the surrounding area. It was refreshing to see this one come together in spite of everything.

Note that for more convention reports, you can read them here.

"The chance which now seems lost may present itself at the last moment."

Jules Verne.

11:00 – Panel: With G5 Artist Imalou

Now this was a panel we'd all come to see. The ultimate Ascended Fangirl herself, with her partner Assassin Monkey, spilt the beans on all the challenges and trials of getting hired for a major animation company. Now that Hasbro were moving a lot of their operations for the franchise to Europe, it was inevitable that they would look for staff who were fans of the previous generation, in order to help try recapture the lightning-in-a-bottle. For these two, working for Boulder animation meant relocating to Ireland.

It was quite the challenge at first, adjusting to the new job as well as life in a new country where they drive on the wrong side of the road. Not to mention the pressure to check her own behaviour and output online to avoid clashing with the franchise's family friendly ethos. But she had some excellent advice to give, including the old staple of taking things one day at a time. Oh, and coping with the burden of carrying on the magic. She says without the support of the community of animators at Boulder – friends – she would've found it much more difficult.

Oh and we got to see some goofy shitpost drawings as well. But she asked us not to show them. You'll have to make do with the header pic above instead.

13:30 – Panel: MLP Events in Europe with Jamis

Jamis, aka Flutterguy – yes, him – has been to just about every convention going. Even more than me! In this rather insightful talk he gave his opinions on the best ways to see conventions, as a well as a detailed history of the con scene. With a blow-by-blow account of how to attend these events and what to watch out for as a newbie or an oldie, from multiple perspectives, this panel is always a good one to see. If you want tips on how to get into conventions in this current, very different world to the one we left in 2019, this panel is an absolute must. He'll be hosting it at other conventions later this year in 2022 so it's always updating.

13:30 – Panel: Dutch Fan Musicians Talk

Note: I only partially attended this panel, but I have it all on camera.

The DBM (Agatan, MC Arch, and Sam Quak Brony) hosted this panel. They brought their combined expertise in singing, music production and public performing, from across three different styles, to the table. They gave the audience a lot of insightful questions – with the required witty banter – on all manner of aspects. These included the upsides, the hurdles, and the unexpected rewards of doing this kind of art, especially collaborating, even in a small fandom such as ours.

Apart from the whole 'making friends' deal, I mean.

15:00 – Charity Auction

This was the most important event of the day. The charity auction was a whopping two hours long, which is usually unheard of for a European convention. Clearly they were hoping to go all out to make a good first impression. The charity, MuzieKids, offers musical experiences to children in hospitals and rehab centres. This is not just music, but music-themed games and other activities, often on computer, guided by music teachers. Studies have shown that the recreational atmosphere this creates helps to speed up the recovery process for many, and has been very well received.

All in all, 6740 Euros were raised, and we had a very good time with lots of bidding war drama. Not bad for a first convention!

17:00 – Closing Ceremony

Sadly, all good things must come to an end. After the awards for cosplay were handed out, and for the workshop prizes, we were told that the con was indeed planned again for the next year. We'll be seeing them again on the 1st to 2nd of October in 2022.

But the night wasn't over; we were able to spend the night enjoying the local bars and restaurants, safe in the knowledge that despite a pandemic and being forced to delay for a year, and ridiculously strict immigration controls, so many of us were able to come together and make such a fantastic go of it.

Thoughts: Venue, Accommodation, Location

The venue was perfect for a first time con; as can be seen from the map, the main stairwell is perfect for crowd control to the main theatre, albeit a bit cramped. The other panel room, workshop rooms, and vendor hall were up on floor two. This stairwell was where meals could be bought, but the requirement for a curved queue kept getting in the way of the vendor hall queue.

There were also some problems with the payment system; no cash available, only bloody card, so you were stuck. Because of Covid restrictions. This meant they would allow beers and meals on the house and you would have to pay them later. Which we did. But it's not nice doing that. The dinner menu was limited and a bit artificial looking. However, the lunch menu had a decent spread, and the drinks (and table positioning) were decent enough. Not too expensive either.

The concert had a clever conceit: to allow for raves in the main theatre, the stage for the band was a raised section in the main stage, with the rest of it being used as a dance floor. This restricted a small crowd to a small space in this large theater, allowing for a more intense feel and more fun mosh pits, beachball toss, grenade toss, etc.

The rooms are not too pricey, and the amenities are decent enough. But If you miss the con's special deals, you can try the Hotel Corona just down the road. Yes, you read that right. Rooms a bit plainer but cheap, and from what I hear the owner is very doting, and as part of the buffet breakfast you get pancakes or eggs and bacon free.

For night dining, Restaurant Bell's is pretty good, I recommend it. But there are plenty of other restaurants on the hotel's street and near the crossroads to the left as you come out the main doors.

Thoughts: Other Events and Schedule

The other workshops were pretty fun. I took a peep in there and there seemed to be a lot of young teens. They were well spread throughout the day, but it would've been nice if regular events were started a bit earlier to allow for people to catch both a workshop and a panel. Free drawing is nice, but there could've been a bit more in the way of alternative activities, like card games. It would've improved things if the music panel on Sunday was not at the same time as the FIM Events panel with Janis.

Getting There and Things to Do

The Netherlands has excellent train infrastructure, and you can take a train from most neighboring capitals such as Germany or Belgium that go straight to Amsterdam. Often under 100 Euros. The nearest train stations are Dreibergen-Zeist and Bunnik, half an hour walk away. Get there and spend a tenner on a taxi. It is a good idea to aim for a flight that lands no later than about 8 pm, In case Covid regulations cause delays. You do not want to miss the last train to either station.

If you are coming from overseas, unless coming from a country immediately next door, the plane prices will be more expensive, in the region of 150 – 300 Euros, so it'll be worth taking a few days here. Going to Amsterdam Schipol airport allows you to spend a day (and night) checking out everything there: from the canal riverboat tours to Anne Frank's house, to seeing the Night Watch painting at Rembrandt Museum, the Lookout Tower with that swing that goes over the side... even the cheese museum and condom factory.

From the US, prices will be in the 400 – 600 Euro range.

Just remember that the whole area is awash with cyclists, even at night. If you ARE cycling, remember that some bike lanes allow for MOPEDS too, because stupidity knows no bounds. Assume all lanes. There is tons of lovely flat countryside, windmills, tulips, etc. to see. Oh, and check out the red light district, but don't get too disorderly off the weed shops, or take photos of the sex workers. Or you might find your bike saddle replaced with a big dildo the next day.

There are a few toy stores and a printing store If you need to do some last minute merch gathering or vendor related things.

Zeist has some attractions, such as Slot Zeist (the local Baroque Palace) and the underground caves. In Utrecht, the nearest big city, there are a lot of attractions such as the Botanic Gardens. Make sure to book before you look!

And for the love of Celestia, always check your Covid travel requirements before you leave.

But all in all, it was a wonderful time, and I will be returning next (this) year. So make sure you come if you can, because this con goes small, but it goes hard.

– Foal Duke, on a bike in a dyke in a THC spike.

Frontline Dispatches: Triumphs and Atrocities - The Real Horrors Unmasked

Click here for previous coverage.

Warning: the following article contains images and links that show war crimes.

Note: if you want to assist humans who are suffering in the crisis, here is a list of reputable charities to consider donating to.

In the past twenty four hours, comedian and entertainer Cheese Sandwich, mayor of Ewe-Crying, has announced that his security teams have managed to successfully retake not only the entirety of Cave, the central business district of the town, but resist attempts by Mares' Co forces to retake other areas over six times. The furthest they had reached into the neighborhood was the hedge behind the CAVE Comedy Club just to the Western end of the area, and have since been forced back.

This is partly due to an audacious defense, but also because Mares' Co forces have been pulling out of the entire locale and moving back to the Don'task neighborhood to refocus on taking the area, following negotiations on March 30th.

Mares' Co forces have also, mercifully, left the Churn 'n' Boil biomass plant to the North of the CBD, allowing regular operations to resume and the potential for an environmental catastrophe to be greatly reduced.

However, evidence has emerged of atrocities amongst the victories.

The armed security team down South by the shore of the Black Lake report that ponies trapped inside the Maypole public grounds – home of the town's theater, now destroyed – are currently running low on food, water, and other essentials owing to siege tactics. First aid convoys are being repeatedly refused entry. Nevertheless they remain staunch.

And while Ewe-Crying forces have managed to retake the road Irpinstrasse, after vicious combat which broke the stalemate and captured 80 percent of the street on 23rd March, and pushed Mares' Co security forces out by 28th March, there was little they could do to stop the indiscriminate shelling of those refugees seeking to leave for safer locations.

And now, as Ewe-Crying security push Mares' Co agents back from Buchastrasse nearby, graves are being discovered daily. It has become very clear that enemy forces, frustrated by the lack of progress and severe disorganization, have been resorting to attacking innocent civilians.

Below are a photo of a mass grave, and a photo of bodies left on the streets. All these people were killed by invading forces.

Photos by Maxar, taken from BBC News.

For many, this will be yet another example of what happens when people come together; there will always be others who attempt to drive them apart. The smug mask of virtue – in this case, the mask of fake anti-authoritarianism – is almost as terrifying as the face of wickedness revealed. Revealed on the faces of the dead: the fathers, mothers, children, the elderly; all killed in this phony war based on a vicious lie.

And for many others, this proves the real importance of the need to stick together. And in this current sociopolitical climate, it is vital that we constantly seek others to stick with, in these turbulent times. The facts need to be presented, without bias, so one may judge for themselves and their emotions and thinking are not influenced unfairly.

So, I must ask myself, why frame such a serious issue through the lens of this platform?

Does it not illicit cringe?

Yes, and that is the point.

Look at the links. Look and learn. Look and cringe.

Look on in anger. Look, and let them prove one simple fact:

It must not be ignored.

And understand that, too, a tyrant who would drive a wedge through people only drives them together with more people, sometimes its own, and they will want to drive it away. And to heal that anger you can too, with kindness. The most practical and self-sacrificing virtue of the lot. Because you are not alone.

And perhaps, these reports can help one process their pain and emotions. For indeed, you cannot fight with kindness if you can't laugh in the face of adversity, laugh at the stupidity of the creature that created it, and laugh with the strength to assess its true proportions and keep fighting together.

And laugh with relief that, perhaps, this travesty is slowly receding, and that we may, even if not for a long while yet, meet again.

Art by Maccoffee on Derpibooru

Update: details have emerged that this may be happening, as the CAVE comedy club was liberated after Mares' Co leader, a Vladimir-breed pony currently calling herself 'Vladdy Maud Pie Tin', was seen leading a charge over the hedge boundary only to be driven back by a stern talking from both her parents and her brother in law's, who then fired off a hastily placed bottle rocket supplied by the Griffish Isles. This has led to them being affectionately nicknamed INLAW Rockets.

Stern cross boundary talks have actually proven surprisingly effective.

Trying to stay relevant, the moniker has been claimed by PM Birdhorse Johnson.

Politics News Weekend Roundup: NO U MON BRAVE.

Leader of Prance Pulls a NO U Amidst Tight Race in Polls

Over the weekend, the fighting in Ewe-Crying has been more intense in the Eastern neighborhood of Don'task than it has been since it started. In the meantime, changes have been happening all over Equestria. Lets take a look at the latest updates.

The current sitting governor of the Prance province, Fallabelle Megatron, is currently in a tight race for the polls against incumbent right-wing candidate Neighpoleon, leader of the National Rally. He has so far held his position, but this time it is reported that the squat, dumpy nag known as Neighpoleon is close enough that a projected victory for her is within the margins of error.

Falabelle has pulled a major NO U, also known as a turnabout or tu quoque (pronounced “Two Coke-ay”).

An artist's impression, by Smoldix on Derpibooru.

"Two nearly identical politicians having an argument, through the eyes of the voter."

Prance is known for its unique voting system, in which there are two rounds of voting. The first is when one selects their preferred candidate, and then the winners go onto the next round. This is accompanied with an official state boxing-chess combo match between both (or in some cases, multiple) candidates, followed by a pastry bake-off and mud slinging free for all. Spectators to these may change their mind if they wish, with the reason being that they have actually bothered to turn up to keep this archaic tradition relevant and keep the tourism cash in flow.

In the mud slinging free for all, Fallabelle seemed eager to try and ensure people he is not a fascist, to one-up his opponent who has been accused of fascism. Who is not quite a fascist, and has repeated this constantly as her main redeeming quality for Government. Falabelle took the time to bring in outsider politicians. The Governer of Poneland, Mateusz Mare-wrecker, had derided him for attempting talks with Vladdy Maud-Pie Tin, the leader of the Mares' Co research community and land. Even accusing him of negotiating with fascists.

In response, Fallabelle has hit back as part of the mud slinging ceremony, referring to him as a far right Jewnicorn hater who bans LGBT ponies. This is instead of trying to keep a united front, and it is possible that should Neighpoleon win, there will be no negotiating with Vladdy what so ever.

Neighpoleon will likely not negotiate with Vladdy at all. As a fellow hardline nationalist, she may very well let him do what he likes.

Hey Ed, should I say this situation involves a massive tu quoque, or Two Massive Cocks, eh?

Frontline Dispatches: Griffish Isles PM to Send Ewe-Crying Munitions

Frontline Dispatches: Griffish Isles to Send Ewe-Crying Munitions

In a surprise (and very risky) move, Griffish Prime Minster Birdhorse Johnson has visited the unincorporated Equestrian shepherd town of Ewe-Crying. The PM has pledged 120 armored vehicles and anti-airship systems, and over ß100 million worth of military equipment.

The PM has hailed this as a triumph. However, he has gained flack in recent days, comparing the struggle to his own country's Eggsit Referendum – the country's ongoing feud over employing foreign au pairs who are not griffins to take care of unhatched children. More details after the jump.

Cameras were not allowed, so we had to make do with this artist's impression.

In a move by the PM that many of the Griffish tabloids have deemed suicidal, ~~perhaps a reflection of their own attitudes to censorship laws~~ (cut this out or we'll lose our partnership with the Daily Starling, Ed) perhaps a reflection of his own economic policies, he made a surprise visit today to see Mayor Cheese Sandwich (birth name Chas Sandwichskyy) to discuss the situation further.

Mayor Sandwich thanked Birdhorse, but emphasized that Canterlot and the Western Equestrian provinces must increase their sanctions against Mares' Co, who are currently relocating their armed security teams East, away from Cave (the central business district). They are being moved to the Don'task neighborhood in the east of the town/province. This is to focus on 'fully liberating' the neighborhood, as part of the 'special operation', as Mares' Co calls it, which they previously implied were non-invasive 'training exercises', until they stopped being exercises.

He also insisted it was time to impose a full embargo on Mares' Co cooking-oil and gas, and increase deliveries of “lethal aid”.

Our reporter asked Birdhorse a couple of questions via satellite, to which he responded with these rather cryptic statements to the delegation of ponies present:

Hasn't it been officially time for an embargo for the past several weeks?

“Well, naturally, we have to respond to this monstrous and barbaric invasion with force as is appropriate, and we need not to escalate things unless, as per the great pegasus philosopher Scootaclees, we do so quill pro quo.”

“We cannot be seen to be escalating things too far, which is why we will be sending over 120 steam-powered armored cars, to help with the fight, because this struggle is very dear to us. Showing our military strength as a freedom-loving, newly independent nation is very dear to us.”

He then jabbed at the microphone switch with one of his fat, grubby claws.

“Hah, not as dear as the profit we would've made off 'em in the latest round of Army and Police cutbacks of course...”

Birdhorse, you do realise the mike is still on, don't you?

Er, oh dear.

You've made much talk about support. Will you be giving Mr Sandwichskyy the No Fly Zone, the support he actually wants?

“Let me ask you something, my little pony: why are you liberal media types suddenly pushing for a global conflict that could kill everyone?”

“So far, amidst the hurly and the burly of this and that, over and under, there has not been police action by Equestria, because of very real concerns that involving the local police outside of Ewe-Crying could see retaliation from Mares' Co security stationed elsewhere. This could involve, eventually, the entire Pony continent.”

“And at any rate, however one looks at it, whether from under the crossbeam or out askew on the treadle,” and here he winked as if to say he was making a clever reference to something, “part of policing is community diplomacy. So, we are not a bunch of lazy, protoplasmic, supine jellies, just because we don't immediately get the guns out.”

“As Mr Sandwichskyy said, the Griffish Isles look to play an important part in any peace negotiations, and we are part of an international community. So we shall approach this like policemen. For we are the modern civilian police force's creators; the first inventors; the parrotos heuretes.”

Is that classical lingo actually correct? I thought his name wasn't Scootaclees but Fetlockrates?

"Erm, okay, next reporter, please?"

Our reporter has deemed that Mr Johnson will be a successful negotiator who pacifies any and all parties, if the room full of now-sleeping ponies was anything to go by.

Post-Convention Report: Griffish Isles 2021/2 - Part 2

Part 2: Sunday Events (21st November 2021)

£3381 raised for Only Foals and Horses

Note: For more convention reports, you can read them here, or use the search label 'convention'.

The second day of events at Griffish Isles were a more relaxed affair, with the morning free of any main hall events after the long day we'd all had yesterday. As you might be able to see from the schedules after the jump, there were less games, and the room was devoted to just the Official CCG Card game and tutorials (plus other random activities). It would've been nice to have the games balanced as per the previous day, but here was more time to play the games in the morning as a breather before the afternoon.

Thoughts on Timetable and Events

The art events were a gentler affair than the previous day, which were more focussed on tutorials, such as making plushies, StormBlaze's art storm challenge, Chaosmauser's tutorial for drawing ponies in Hideo Kojima's style, and the Bad OC Contest. Today, all those were replaced with a more relaxed art competition and doodling for the rest of the day. I would've preferred that an event or two from Saturday was moved here to pad things out, and give people more chance to see the main events (such as with the VIPs).

However, the more niche events of the day (the Furries panel and the singalong) would suffer in terms of attendance. Nevertheless, the morning was free for karaoke and vendors, which is a bonus for those of us hungover and needing a break. And makes a nice change – usually drinks and karaoke come at the same time for me. I like to give people a laugh!

Thoughts on Venue

As you can see, the venue this year is quite different to previous years. Problems are evident immediately: firstly, the creative room and foal's room (kids' activities) are in the back and a little hard to find; secondly, the bar and toilets are at the back, which created congestion on the Saturday night during the concert and/or plushie stack. What didn't help was that on that day – of all days! – some of the staff had just started! Perhaps booking for another weekend when there wasn't another event on at the same time, taking place in the pink room on the map.

However, the reception is very helpful, the bar is good, and the mane theatre was right where you needed it to be (although a bit cramped for stand up events like sing alongs due to the very short legroom – it's a lecture hall). I prefer the older venue, but this venue makes full use of its space. Its name, The Pendulum, comes from the Focault Pendulum swinging in the main lobby (a special pendulum meant to demonstrate the Earth's rotation).

Accommodation here is four stars on Trip Advisor, rooms can be from £60 - £100 a night, and if you can't afford that, there are plenty of other places within ten minutes' walk that offer reasonable lodgings. They are also close to Oxford and Piccadilly stations as well. However, safety is a must. Manchester is generally safe, but don't draw too much attention to yourself if you go out on the Friday night for a few pre drinks. Generally people will ignore you but keep away from crowds of noisy buggers if you feel you ought to, especially in costume.

Oh, and avoid the Britannia Hotel at all costs – I know someone staying there, who had their radiator stuck on full blast for two days, and all they did was send him up a fan. There are always queues at check in of about twenty people. It's noisy too.

Trains from other parts of the UK can set you back from £30 – 90 because National Rail are obscene. Trains from France or Germany are about £150 – 250. Flights from Europe cost about £200 – 300, from America cost about £600 – 800, so get a good few days here.

One of the bids from the convention.

12:00 – Musicians' Q & A Panel

The first main panel of the day, the musicians from last night did the usual thing and fielded all sorts of questions. Some of which were skewed quite heavily towards the pandemic and how they coped. They discussed the songs they were most proud of – Don't Hold Me Back for BlackenedBlue and Solidarity for Prince W, for example. Prince W revealed that he prefers smaller conventions because they have a more intimate atmosphere and he feels that as an artist he can gauge the crowd's reaction more accurately.

There were plenty of other questions asked, and you can see the video soon on our Youtube channel at Horse News TV.

CrackingLazer, PrinceWhateverer, Theolney, BlackenedBlue and BassPon3 bring the banter. CL, Theolney are part of Coltastrophe, BB collaborates.

13:00 – Furries and Bronies Panel with Reskell

This was an interesting panel, with a failry decent attendance for something with niche value. Reskell, a veteran of both fandoms, joined the furries in 2009 and the bronies in 2012. There was a comprehensive run down of what furries are – which was covering old ground to some extent as most of us know what it is – no matter how much we want to admit it. But nevertheless a necessary part of this. There was a lot of talk on the overlap, and some interesting facts, such as the younger fans taking an interest in raptor and skull suits for various reasons of identity. There are more fursuiters than you might think – 25% of all furries at best estimates. And Midwest Furfest has beaten out Anthrocon for the largest attendance.

I asked them why it was that many fans felt that the brony scene would die off after the central media finished, when two years later it has not, and furries are able to keep going. Having never been asked that question before, they felt it was because many horse conventions have a large number of furries as staff. They have an ability to keep things rolling in spite of no central media, just fan content.

So don't dunk on furries just for being furries.

You are, after all, going to furry conventions.

14:00 – Scriptreading With Guest Ian Handlin

Ah, yes, Ian Hanlin, the voice actor for Sunburst in G4 My Little Pony. He called us again at a similar time, very early in the morning, but no less bright eyed and bushy-tailed to lead us on an interactive script reading.

We were split into groups as he picked parts for us to recite lines from the episode Parent Map (Season 8, Episode 8) and veteran host HypnoHooves chose sections for each group to go through, on by one. It was very, very fun, and interactive VIP events such as this usually are. They are a main draw, with about a hundred people turning up to this one, and as a veteran of cons globally I can highly recommend them. If Ian Hanlin's there, get in, because his variety and expressiveness make them highly enjoyable. There was a lot of improvization from the audience, which added to it.

Oh, and the entire audience got to do the sound effects.

15:00 – Singalong

Ronseal.

15:30 – Closing Ceremonies and Awards

Sadly, all things have to come to a close. The convention had to end eventually, and we were given a series of short but sweet announcements. The charity auction managed to raise £3310 for the local charity, Only Foals and Horses, and with an attendance of about 220 was their biggest convention yet! Given that the convention in November was very close to the nascent Ponycon Holland in October, the audience were more happy with the convention being moved back to May. This gives them only a seven month window to make it happen for May 7th and 8th 2022, and hopefully they can do it! The convention is confirmed for the same venue as before.

It was a very fun event, and more than worth the trip – we'll bring you more on that as we hear it.

Post-Convention Report: Griffish Isles 2021/2 - Part 1

http://onlyfoalsandhorses.org.uk/about-us/

That's Griffins, not Grifting – we're In Manchester, not Essex.

By Dr. Foal Duke

What ho and pip-pip, dear readers! This one's a little bit late because of various... factors that might in fact have some relevance to world events – you know: a terrible winter, the Megatron variant, the inevitable (sigh) family and friends you have to deal with at Christmas. And not to mention Vladmir Putin deciding that he'd do a Scrooge and make all of Ukraine part of his honorary family and treat them to lots of shiny army toys. In direct competition with their adopted family in NATO who could only provide Javelins.

Of course, that was nothing compared to a three day jaunt in Manchester for the third Griffish Isles, the oddly named and oddly impactful little convention that goes beyond its comfy atmosphere to have quite a nice feel of slightly larger cons like Harmonycon in Dallas, with their effective use of venue space. It's been a funny old year for them, and despite having to call off summer 2020, they were able to bounce back in Winter 2021, a first for them. So, without further ado, mind the terrible word play, and let's dive right in.

Part 1: Saturday Events (20th November 2021)

10:30 – Opening Ceremonies

As to be expected of a convention like this, the opening was short, sweet and done to a budget. Much like an older episode of Doctor Who where set elements to be attacked with the sonic screwdriver were made of cardboard and bin liners. We were treated to long time con chair HypnoHooves and the MC Dr. Pony going over the boring, non-essential things, like where to go in case of a fire, how not to do it without trampling people, etc. One big change is that now, long time con contributer Librase is now the new chair, taking HH's place! For a first time as a con chair, she handled it very well. There was no confusion of where to go, no fire, no trampling people, etc.

So anyway, after everyone in the crowded main theatre (just capable of holding everyone without looking too crowded or too big) began to file out, someone wanted to ask a question, there was a bit of confusion as people heard 'sure, fire a-' and ended up trampling people, etc. Until the start of this last passage Librase was standing behind me with a stick. She's gone now.

11:00 – The History of MLP (Mane Theatre)

This was the first panel in the main theatre, and Bexi, the resident historian and super nerd, was hosting. The panel was pretty interesting – it's a regular at GI to have a history panel – but I found her particular take on it interesting. Specifically, she was able to tie the history of girls' toys in general into the presentation, explaining how the demand for them changed through the 1980s and how this enabled and influenced the rise of MLP from then and even to now, in its current incarnations with a more cross-gender focus. What followed this was something that, sadly, could use a few more girls...

12:00 – Transport Ponies

Ricky Gervais once said: “autograph hunters are the Epsilon Minors of society, even trainspotters look down on them.” ~~Oh, if only he knew about bronies...~~ Delete this or your hand goes in the drawer again, Ed.

Well, regardless of what he said, Zen and Ace definitely deserve to be looked up to. Trainspotting, while an acquired taste, is very engaging. Both of them hosted this interesting practical panel on how to best travel to meets and conventions,how to find the best price, budgeting and hazards to be aware of. Even better, they provided a pretty comprehensive run down of the transport systems and routes to take getting to cons all across Europe and the US, including cons they've been to. While indulging in their hobby and imparting knowledge about their favourite varieties of train. What more could you want or expect from two veteran staff members of the London Underground?

This kills the tourist. But is a nice walk for anyone named Artyom.

13:00 – MLP and Gothic Media

While I felt this one suffered a little for the fact it was quite a niche look at the horse show, it nevertheless had an interesting take. Dr Pony explained things in his usual clear and crisp delivery style, as he had done at previous conventions on all manner of subjects from the perception of 'girly' things in the media to the history and development of fan conventions and their relation with creators using MLP and show staff as a model. He built on this further, to explain the link between girl-focussed media, fantasy, horror and gothic horror and aesthetic. This might be an explanation for just why young girls, at least if you believe the toys, have such a goddamn fascination with the macabre and creepy (aside from that being the natural state of little girls everywhere). And the seeming prevalence of black-and-pink combos.

Punk was a big, big link that helped bridge the gap, and there were a lot of shows with a gritty down to earth feel and a slight punk aesthetic emerging in the 1980s, geared to kids (or at least youths). This understandably let to subsequent media in the 1990s and beyond taking a more punk/pop feel. Combined with its increased retro appeal and the rise of toy collectors, all these four aspects merged to help create lots of gothic-but-bubblegum flavoured media, including the slightly darker 1980s MLP cartoon. The fact that there were certain live action shows with real life cartoon characters certainly (didn't) help, including their Saturday morning TV show feel, with gunge, papier mache props, and cartoon shenanigans. Only turned up to eleven. As seen here with Dr Pony in this shot, including the ever relevant Young Ones by and starring Rik Mayall down on the bottom left of photo two. Which most accurately represents the social scene for a group of cartoon horse enthusiasts.

Dr Pony talking about all the shows the cool kids got to watch. “I might be an old fart now, but at least I got to watch kids shows with a fucking explosives budget.” – Dr Pony allegedly.

14:00 – Cosplay Contest

Speaking of real life cartoon characters... Another event in the mane theatre. You know what to expect with this. There were about a dozen costumes on display. Not much, but for this size of event (attendance ~220) it was pretty good. You can't have everything. There were some amusing performances, a couple of fursuiters and a bit of improv comedy.

[pic: cosplay shit, find on the GRIFF website]

The cosplayers themselves, thanks to @Reskell492 on Twitter

15:00 – Interview with Voice Actor Ian Hanlin

No, not Ian Hislop – although that would be unequivocally based – but Ian Hanlin, the voice of Sunburst, everyone's favourite awkward and hapless librarian dwelling wizzard (who is also a horse). He was unable to come to the convention from his native Canada due to a change in the pandemic rules at the last minute. Presumably Prime Minister Trudeau was responsible for this, hoping that the honking of angered truckers would distract the Canadian press from his transatlantic jaunt to have a pissup with Boris Johnson. In blackface. Which is a good thing because his face without boot polish is actually more horrifying.

But not to worry! Ian was able to kindly appear by video link even though it was still very very early morning in the colonies. There were plenty of questions asked, and Ian spilled the beans on his early experiences in the voice acting industry, and how he ended up coming into contact with MLP and the fanbase. Plenty of insightful questions on things you wouldn't expect to know, including how he adapted his older roles to fit his newer roles.

Bleary-eyes and yet quite alert, he bravely ran the gauntlet for any hour to deal with out weirdness and very relevant questions, including the earth shattering revelation of who he thought best pony was. Then he went back to sleep in the dark.

16:00 – Charity Auction

This was the other big event of the day. Despite the convention's size, yet again it managed to punch well above its weight in the charity stakes. There was all manner of lots to bid on, from exclusive merch, to fanart drawn specifically for the con, and a variety of other things signed by voice actors and other show creators. There were fan creations, noted pieces of convention memorabilia, and my personal favorite: random bits of tat.

The Charity in question was Only Foals and Horses, a charity over in Accrington founded over thirty years ago to save mares in foaling from the slaughter house, which nearly closed due to the pandemic. The auction raised £3310 for them overall. You can read about them here

I notice the guidebook says “there's always a chance that someone will bring in a real unicorn”. The guide notes that you cannot guarantee there will be a unicorn for MLP fans to bid on. At this point, this reporter would like to state that he can neither confirm nor deny that a brightly coloured unicorn was a bid at this auction, or any subsequent allegations involving the unicorn and any writers that may or may not have been present, from any panel show hosted by a Mr Hislop or otherwise.

Notable bids included:

Lot #13, a set of coasters featuring pony art that went for £600;
Lot #26, a roller banner from the previous convention (2019) for £390;
Lot #30, a 'brick that loves you' with eyes and voicebox for £45 (i.e. random tat);
Lot #31, a bad OC book from the creative corner earlier, for £35 (i.e. random tat);
A biro (more random tat);

They raised a lot of money with that tat.

I like tat.

We have no pic of the brick, so here's a griffin brick they also sold.

The coasters that went for £600. Quite a bidding war for this lot.

The Party

Of course, many people's main attraction was the evening line-up. This was a fun evening, and in the typical style of Europe's smallest con, it was a small, cosy affair. It felt more like a regular party with people you know than a full rave, which is fine. Though comparable to Rock Nessie at Bronyscot (and with a similar feel given that this year it moved to winter) in terms of size, with about 80 - 100 people attending out of around 220, attendance was high enough to feel like something larger such as at HarmonyCon. Even though you will see the usual crowd of extroverts and drunkards, making it very fun and familiar

This is helped further partly due to the clever use of the venue's dance floro also serving as the stage, allowing the audience to get right up close with the bands, making it feel smaller (and cosier) than it was. This made the crowd feel a bit bigger.

However, this is also like a minor drawback. Unlike Rock Nessie, where the dancefloor is half the size and the other half is seating on a higher level, this is a single dancefloor. There is more capacity for a feeling of emptiness when there is lower attendance and most people are sitting. I think it makes people feel less keen on dancing as they feel like the only ones out there! Though if I'm the only one out there it's for your safety, believe me. Not many people can get charged with affray across the border. In Reykjavik.

This was the case in the early sets with Blackened Blue and Coltastrophe (a day at a con can tire you out) but the music was enjoyable, and a variety of harder rock to to more convivial pub rock, which worked to help the comfy atmosphere in spite of this. It was a nice variety and good switching between older and newer songs for both. Blackened is still going strong, and holds a crowd well. Coltastrophe (minus Lewis due to personal reasons, sadly) still work well together mixing up their acts was a great way to keep things interesting.

BassPone3 was next, with some hard hitting bass heavy numbers including remixs of Cnady by S3RL and Sara, Inside Out by the Italobrothers, Her Lonely Mystique by Sakuraboi, Doki Doki Forever by OR3O, and superheroes by Maddix. He then moved on to more melodic numbers such as his own hits - Not Comin' Home, Ethereal Midnight, Pinkie Pie Style (feat Archie) – and then his harder, more signature tracks. Lovesick (feat. Viewtifulday), Unicorn Attack!, Cybernetic, and Eternity. These last three came with a ton of references to the new generation (G5) and one couldn't help but think of the coming year ahead and the hope that we were finally getting something new.

And of course, no pub rock concert would be complete without Prince Whateverer. As he turned up with a medley of old hits and new, he helped to bring the house down. The events were slightly out of order due to technical difficulties, but nevertheless the combination of his full blast songs, which got the entire crowd moving, and the euphoric hit of BassPon3, culminated in – what else? - Solidarity.

Pretty decent evening and I thoroughly recommend you go next year when you get the chance. There was a decent array of beers on tap – not many ciders, and the hotel bar didn't do much food – but there were plenty of takeaways in reach, and the beer wasn't too pricey.

Which is good, because you can't put a price on events like these.

State of the Pone-demic 2022: HarmonyCon Retrospective Part 1

State of the Pone-demic 2022: Convention Report 1

HarmonyCon, Dallas, TX

by Dr. Foal Duke

The title of the convention was Harmony, but the atmosphere it created was anything but.

This was the third convention they had held, and the first in the United States after the pandemic. Naturally, this being close to our main office, we had to go along and take a look. The convention has survived a hoax SWAT call, a fire alarm, a hotel closure, and a two-year fucking pandemic. And yet it still rings out loudly in the mist, defiant and proud. So, how did it celebrate a return to form? what happened? Just about everything. And then Elley Ray.

Also this disturbing thing.

Part 1: Friday Events (18th February 2021)

Ingrid Nelson, Elley-Ray Hennessey, Imalou, Japanese Fandom Bigwigs Spill All

Opening Ceremonies

These were a strangely emotional affair, marking a return to form for the convention I was frankly relieved to see. If the remarks in the crowd were anything to go by, I was not the only one. The entire room was filled with tension as the light dimmed. It was electric. Like a gas, almost glowing with anticipation. The convention hosts appeared. Familiar faces. Tyler and Pepper. The applause was thunderous. With more applause each time the VIPs and musical guests made their way on stage, hearts alighting, it was clear we were back to strength, raring to go.

Statistics:

Charity – DASH Network for asylum seekers
Amount raised - $12000
Attendance: 809, previous con in 2020 was 811.
Guests: Ingrid Nelson, Elley-Ray Hennessey, Imalou, Gabriel Brown, Claire Corlett, Tony Fleecs
Musicians: Prince Whateverer, Haymaker, Namii, Loudsdale, Nevermourn, Neighgative, 7TH Element, Loophoof, Blue Brony, 4EVerfreebrony, Wonderbolts, Whirly Tail, Koa, Eurobeat Brony, Faulty, John Kenza, Pegasys
Other notable guests include Minty Root, Step 2 Harmony, Riffponies, Silver Quill

Panel – How to Trot Your Way into the Industry

The first of many practical panels, which I feel as part of the convention's statnd out features is symbolic of Texan pragmatism. This hour guide by Imalou – the ascended fangirl, artist and character designer for the G5 Movie – and professional artist Minty Root, detailed their journey from fan artists to official employees with a Very Serious Job doing what they liked. The panel provided a variety of practical examples for anyone looking to turn the things they like doing in the fan base into actual marketable skills to get a job.

Particularly engaging was the advice on pitfalls and how to present your work professionally. This deserved its pride of place on the main stage. Attendance was at about 200 out of a total of about 800.

Panel – Making Friends at Harmony Con

This was another panel we attended at around the same time. There was, again plenty of practical advice, on how to make friendships and keep them. But also, most importantly, how to find friends and where to look in the first place. I feel this panel suffered a bit from being situated in Galleria 3, with the doors hidden behind the main screen in the lobby, but you can't have everything. Maybe put it in Galleria 1 next time, which is more visible from the doors.

Panel – A Look at the Japanese Fandom

This was a very intimate look at the small but every dedicated Japanese fanbase. Hosted by Sunchase, who spent ten years living in Japan and making connections with the fans there, this was an interesting treat of a panel. They looked at the Japanese take on fan art, various Japanese memes, and a Japanese convention head's story in the fandom and his experiences in setting up a Japanese convention for a Western cartoon (hooray, opposite day!). This was conducted by a videostream live from Japan.

Thoughts: Other Events

There was a great variety of other social events, including 'How to Be a Villain', a workshop for writers on how to write amicably evil characters using your own social relationships as an example, to the Fireside Conversation (in which the heads of various conventions got together with audience members to share their stories of running conventions and meeting people). There was also the Friendship Maid Cafe, run by the members of dance group Step 2 Harmony, if that's your thing. It's done in the style of a Japanese maid cafe, in which the waitresses wear maid outfits and have gentle amiable convversations with the customers. Japanese food is served. These were all staggered throughout the day, allowing newer, more shy attendees the maximum opportunity to meet new people. However, it also meant the rave would be missed; if you are quite shy, perhaps the rave is not for you, and this can provide a nice alternative.

The creative/educational events were also very good, and made use of the time available, but unfortunately some of them clashed with the more fun panels such as Taskmaster, as can be seen from the schedule below. Nevertheless, the convention certainly got their money's worth from the special guests, including Minty and Fallout Equestria luminary Fiaura.

Thoughts: The Venue, Accommodation and Food

This year, the venue was the Sheraton DFW hotel close to – you guessed it – DFW Airport. This had both its drawbacks and advantages. As the convention chairs Tyler and Pepper informed me in a post-con interview, they had to look at several factors to pick a venue, and they found this one had better spacing. I have to agree (more on that in a moment). Firstly, having the venue so close to the airport allows for easier access, and simply using a hotel shuttle to get there is all you need. No more taking a DART train, then a bus because it's still a thirty minute walk. However, it also makes for more difficult sleeping. The rooms are a bit more expensive than the older rooms at the Crowne Plaza in Addison, which sadly shut down In the pandemic, but the quality is better (just ask Tony Fleecs – oh wait, I did back in 2020!).

However, there are less options for dining on foot, only a Denny's, but it's open 24 hours and the chicken steaks are great. There is also a Chevron just five mins way on foot for essentials. The only problem is that there are no places to buy booze, unlike the Crowne Plaza, so you will need someone with a car to do a booze run. If you have a car there Is also the Hard Eight Texan Grill in the next town over, where we went for lunch. The real gimmick here is that you can see everything being cooked – whole sides of beef! - in front of you in massive grillboxes, with a ton of smoke extracted out by the required dozen industrial fans in the ceiling!

It's also a bit further out of town than the events held at the Crowne Plaza in Addison, so if you need to buy a plush, print off some urgent flyers (e.g. for SWATCon celebrations) or get party supplies you need a friend with a car. On the plus side, there are tons of cheaper hotels within walking distance, including the Quality Inn, a recommendation from a couple of Dutch individuals. For motel prices, you get a full room with cooker, fridge, microwave, and there's a FREE gym and pool.

The same is true for the Sheraton. Anyway, comparing the maps, one thing is clear; the new venue has more space for its events, with a main stage right by registration in the west entrance that faces the road. The East entrance allows you to see a couple of the Galleria floors across from the doors, on the other end of the bar and lobby area. The venue definitely has more space to work with and more effective use of space for crowd flow. As stated, it's a little bit hard to see some of the doors because there's a large wall in the way. But the lobby allows many attendees to sit and talk, acting like a natural people magnet. With the bar, the most important part of any convention, just a drunken waddle away, you boozey fuck.

The only other issues are that the games room and renegade stage were hidden up on the mezzanine level, and they only have elevator access, no stairs. For any non-Americans, by the way, floors are not counted in numbers but 'C' for Concourse, 'M' for Mezzanine, and other letters you gave to guess, than 4, 5, 6, etc. This is logical.

The city contains several interesting attractions, including the historical centre and log cabin of its founder, the Stockyards where you can watch the iconic Texan Longhorn steers being driven to market for the authentic Texan experience. It also contains other upbeat attractions such as the Holocaust Memorial Museum, the book repository and JFK assassination memorial museum. And you might meet Hank Hill.

Coltchella (Friday Night)

There was no doubt in everybody's minds that this was the main event most people had travelled here to see. The entire set was an eclectic mix of different styles from a range of fan musicians. Clearly, for the first live US concert of 2022, and the second one in the past two years, the convention team were keen to go all out in order to revive the community spirit.

First came Haymaker with a series of slower, lower key jazz pieces to work people up to the faster-paced acts later on. He drew pretty well on his talents as one of the Wasteland Wailers and with excellent command of a singing voice, complemented by excellent use of a harmonica, was able to hold his own performing the group pieces solo. Unique compositions were interspersed in between, giving a nice little variety that upped and and downed the ante over his half hour set.

Haymaker

Then came Namii, offering the first electronic act of the night. Namii gave several tunes that started to coax more people up onto the dance floor as newcomers drew in. She was an excellent ramp onto the next act, Loudsdale, who then proceeded to hit you over the head with their particular brand of rap/rock, and anyone else they had lured into the trap. The variety was eclectic, and the finale left them primed for the next act: Prince Whateverer.

Namii

Prince's mix of hair metal and pub rock was, as always, a massive hit with the fans. While there was nothing new per se, this was no matter, as the man has been releasing new songs steadily over the past few month since we spoke to him at Everfree Encore. There were a good few hundred people up on stage at this point, around 250 – 300, and while they were very excited, he was still able to up the ante by leaving the best to last. I am of course, talking about his 2019 hit Solidarity.

After a brief interlude came Nevermourn and Neighgative, the next acts. These were able to carry the party on, with one act complementing the other in terms of style and energy, so that there was enough variety to keep people's interests. The night was rounded out by Loophoof and 7th Element, who still haven't lost their touch.

So all in all, a very good first day.

Part Two to follow.

--Foal 'Not Raoul' Duke

State of the Pone-Demic 2022: HarmonyCon Retrospective Part 2

You can read about the DASH Immigration Charity here.

Part 2: Saturday Events (19th February 2021)

$12,000 Raised for DASH Immigration Charity.

Note: For more convention reports, you can read them here, or use the search label 'convention'. Part One is here.

Day Two of HarmonyCon 2022 was the most fun day by far, with plenty of fun to be had. There were plenty of unusual characters, including this rather unusual gentleman trying to find as many mares as possible. As you can see, he has quite an interesting theory worked out about the government's plans to deprive humanity of this important resource. More details to follow as soon as we get them. In the meantime, here's some more about the event he crashed.

Brave renegade Alex T Pones detailing how mares are real, block radar, and for this reason are being hidden by the Government

Panel – VIP Panel

This was the first panel we attended on the day. Slightly sombre and melancholy, reflective of the two years of time together lost to the pandemic, but nevertheless a welcome return to events. The atmosphere was positive and the feeling of relief was visible on the faces of the guests and attendees. For many it was their first panel or convention since the lockdowns began. It was only the second US convention since Trotcon in December.

The guests were Elley Ray Hennessey (G4 voice of Mistmane), Tony Fleecs (G4 IDW comics artist), Lea Dabssi (Imalou, G5 MLP designer and creator of Izzy), Claire Corlett (G4 voice of Sweetie Belle), Gabrielle Brown (fan musician and occasional G4 voice extra) and Ingrid Nelson (G4 voice of Maud Pie). Many interesting questions were asked, and the answers were very thorough. I detected that some of the panellists were eager to vent about the pandemic. Clearly, the pandemic had left people very pent up, but as the panel soldiered on the feeling subsided.

It was clear we're back in business, baby.

Cosplay Competition

The change in atmosphere set us up nicely for this next event. With about 300 people in attendance (at least by my counting) there was clearly still a strong desire to see some very... interesting individuals turn up in what can only be described as an exhibition of fancy dress costumes from an assortment of cultures/eras/narcotic influences.

A wonderful array as always, with competitors in similar numbers to previous years, and some fun role playing to boot.

Event – Roaring 1920s Dance Lesson

Do you like music that feels younger than your last fling, but came from a time older than your gran? Do you like dancing like a coked up Spike Spiegel on rollerskates? Or can you only re-enact John Travolta's awkward dance scene from Pulp Fiction like you're on heroin and valium? No worries – this tutorial had the steps, the stings and the songs to put the pep in your step, the wowzers back in your trousers and the flirt back in your skirt as you and your darling date flap the night away. Hosted by Crackle's Cousin Cosplay, this was a fun and engaging tutorial, which this author had to sit out of, on account of the last time he tried this, he was convicted of affray and battery in three states simultaneously, and put at least one Starlink out of orbit.

Thoughts – Other Events

Today the array of creative events was greater and better placed in the timetable. The Budget Art Panel and Design Team Q & A panel were very interesting, as well as the other informational panels such as Internet Safety and HN regular Minty Root's panel on pony gimmick accounts. There were plenty of other interesting panels, such as the Centaurworld panel which raised the interesting question of just what the hell to call us when we like ponies beyond MLP.

Coltchella (Saturday Night)

In my opinion, the musical events are the heart and soul of conventions. They are a major, major aspect of the community and a real draw for everything else, including the charities. And this particular night built on the momentum gained from the previous evening in its efforts to rebuild some of that good old community spirit.

Bluebrony started off the set with some of his more well known tracks, including his electronic arrangements. Combined with an unusual and some might say risky keyboard arrangements, this was a nice gentle lead-in to 4everfreebrony's set. This had a nice variety of his more classic tunes interspersed with his newer pieces, showcasing an interesting contrast between his older, more accoustic style and the interesting turn taken in recent years with an approach more oriented around synthpop, with a gentle deadpan delivery that comes across much like Bill Wurtz's at points.

After the intermission, people were now eager for something a bit more intense, and relatively new artist Whirly Tail kicked things up a notch with her fast-paced happy hardcore set, including her remixes of the New Generation movie's opener, Be My Day. Koa continued the hype streak with a variety of songs, with wonderful track composition and excellent vocal work. Her combination of powerful synth and well-paced vocal melodies brought out the manic side of the crowd.

Then the party really started. Eurobeat Brony's set got the crowd into full swing, and then time was lost to the crowd as Faulty, John Kenza and Pegasys lead the crowd into a full frenzy: conga lines, mosh pits, party poppers, small fires, the odd land mine... it's never a proper party without a land mine...

And as we melted away into the night, that special, almost feeling that could only come from a group of random oddballs congregating to party like only pent up geeks can... with that single purpose in mind... was back in our heads and our hearts. The feeling that, simply, holy shit, we're back. Written all over the wall of the coming year, scrawled in a violent splash of hand sanitizer that nobody would ever need, saved for two years and released in a powerburst of pent-up pandemic potential energy.

Part 3: Sunday Events (20th February 2021)

Event - VIP Comic Panel Reading

The first event of the final day – this involved all of the VIPs taking turns to read an MLP comic worked on by VIP Tony Fleecs and colleagues at IDW. It required lots of improvisation, clever emoting, and very very silly voices. Not much to say, other than it was pretty fun, and that the main hall had about 250 people attending for this. There was a lot of laughter, which was only stopped for a moment when the lines became confusing, only to start again right after!

Event - Coltchella Special Event

This was a little mid-day after party, exclusively for fans of Gabriel Brown if you like that sort of thing.

Event - Charity Auction

The last big attraction of the day, this ran over time because there were so, so many different lots to sell. This was hosted by Fiaura. This was by far the best fundraiser the convention has pulled so far, and managed to raise $12,000 exactly for the DASH Network – Dallas-Fort Worth Asylum Seeker Housing.

This organization provides housing assistance to asylum seekers while they wait for government work permits and other documents and who would be homeless without them. It also provides connections to social services, job training for ESL individuals, and a supportive community. You can find them at www.dashnetwork.net

Other Events

There were several other events, evenly spaced, though the only drawback was the Musician's Panel colliding with part of the Charity Auction. Fiaura's Brony Church was interesting, and had more weight this time, brought about by the fact that more people have turned to pony to help cope with the pandemic and other issues creating a lot of anxiety. There were plenty of fun games, including Pony the Interruption and convention stories panels, not to mention the MLP Dating Game and the Squid Game (Saturday night) for a nice little bit of cringey fun.

There was also the Secret Santa meetup, which was highly fun. And very cringey.

Things we found at the Secret Santa event, as well as a candy house construction project. Totally normal.

Closing

Sadly, things had to come to an end, but yet another great convention was had by all. It was a shame that Bill Anderson couldn't turn up, and Ponysplosion had to be cancelled. Weedhorse Theo, the host, is okay. However, the new venue has used its space well, and as you can see from the map, the vendor hall is more well placed this year, right next to the main hall, allowing for people to see nearly everything from the double doors when they pass to enter the main hall events. This is not the first convention moving to a new venue this past year – Griffish Isles and the new Dutch Convention have already done so. It's all change. But change can be a good thing. I'm not sentimental. It would've been nicer if they didn't have to change because of the circumstances, but nevertheless they managed to make it work.

It's already been conformed for next year, and I highly recommend you to come. Because this con is full of wonderful eccentric characters like Alex T Pones. This really IS where the magic happens.

-- Foal Duke, on an oil field hunting for mares, in the BLM's crosshairs.

EXCITING NEW ANNOUNCEMENT!

Dear readers

All thirty of you have noticed that we at Horse News have been absent for quite some time. This is owing to certain personal issues and circumstances surrounding the pandemic. But now, we are back with some amazing changes. Firstly, you can expect to see our brand new series of paid analysis videos on Patreon, at only $15.99 per month.

Secondly, we are in the process of starting our own line of limited edition Bored Popeye NFTs, which you can pay to own with a unique digital signature, for as little as one month's wages. A selection of these are pictured below.

And most importantly, we're proud to announce our merger with ToonKritic Networks. Our new editor, ToonKritic, is glad to take us onboard and will be helping us gain more publicity and provide more great content, including: analyses of the new G5 episodes as they arrive; a monthly gameshow panel where we riff on our own incorrect analyses; and our Analysis Anarchy, where we discuss the social ramifications of our own analyses and how much impact they've made on the pony fandom!

Thank you for your support!

Don't forget to hit us up on Tiktok and Reddit!

Newsie News, Editor-in-Chief

Did Iron Will Slap Tom the Rock Due To Scientologist Upbringing?

Celebrity Minotaur Sits Down With HN, Tells All

In the aftermath of Iron Will slapping comedian Tom the Rock on live television yesterday on The 94th Annual Pantomime & Barn Dance Awards, there was widespread controversy from the 10,000 or so ponies who heard about it. Almost 1,000 times those who had watched it. The motivational speaker sat down with us to clear the air, once we found a reporter who was free to deal with this urgently vital issue.

So what exactly was it?

Well, basically, as you know, Tom had been asked to host this year as the usual comedian is preoccupied with a sort of land dispute or something or other – Iron Will forgets what – and he'd been asked to do his usual thing, you know, PG-level humor, bit cheeky, nothing too bad, sort of thing.

And the Usual Comedian is?

Cheese Sandwich.

Do you know more about why he can't attend?

Eh, Iron Will knows it was a fight of some description about boundary disputes? I only caught a brief snap of it when m'butler Geoffrey Goat was flicking through t'tellybox while I was in my gold plated hot tub polishing my awards. But I put the town flag in my Flitter tag line like everyone else was, so that's good, innit?

Cheese Sandwich is the Dean of the comedy college at U Laughing and newly elected Mayor of the surrounding sheep farm town of Ewe-Crying. He is currently fighting an invasion from Mares' Co, the next town over. There are currently widespread fear this could escalate into a war that envelopes the entirety of Equestria and even the entire Pony Continent.

Anyway, what brought this on?

Well, you know. I'd come there for a nice night, I'd been nominated for my award (Best Speech), and I was there with the marefriend. Tom's hosting, making little jabs here and there, all good clean fun. But then he came at her with a joke – you know, THAT one, I'm not repeating it here. And I was so incensed by it that my anger welled up. And next thing I know I was up on stage, punching him in the … the facet?

And you still got your award after?

Yes, and up on the podium, Iron Will apologised. Iron Will apologised to all the actors, all the writers, all the people, including Tom the Rock. Iron Will would like to take the time, again, to say how utterly and unequivocally sorry I am. Iron Will says one should take their medicine. Like Iron Will always says, 'Apologise and get PENALIZED!' Hurgh!

He proceeded to pose multiple times and flex. Our Editor Newsie had to be dragged out the room.

That's not what it normally means, though.

Iron Will's comments are nuanced and layered! Teach comedian lesson about offense by responding in most offensive way possible! With violence! And audience think he has no sense of irony, but Iron Will does! Like Iron Will says: 'Get better by GOING META!' HURGH!

He proceeded to pose again. This gave such a hot flush to our tea lady that she actually dumped the entire steaming vat over her head to cool off.

Are you crying?

No...

Naturally, the comedian's fans latched onto the drama, making memes. This photo shows that his fans can complain about drama and 'cancelling' while doing the exact same nonsense.

You were caught crying on camera afterwards, is there more to this?

No I wasn't. Even though I'd punched a rock with my bare hands!

But at first you were laughing at the joke?

That was an involuntary reaction. Iron Will's girlfriend wasn't bloody laughing.

And that was what set you off?

No, Iron Will feels this comedian had it coming.

So there was something else behind this?

No, Iron Will has no previous history. There are no issues with other people.

What about your girlfriend?

Why would she have anything to do with the history?

I didn't mean that. I was asking how she felt-

It doesn't matter how Iron Will's girlfriend felt, she was going through a lot, so what if her private life is untoward? It's not her fault she turned to cheating, dammit! She's had a ton of shite to deal with, the press keep making her into a spectacle, and now Iron Will himself! Iron Will is an adult male with emotion, not to be exploited by stupid press!

Have you been exploited by anyone else, say, the public?

Yes! Ponies first cheer girlfriend for cheating on Iron Will! They made fun of Iron Will! Call her strong minotaur lady punching up against toxic man Iron Will! Then when Iron Will punches comedian, they say good for strong man Iron Will! Iron Will says, think before tweeting, make bloody minds up! Iron Will is not your puppet!

Do you think they'd feel differently if it was two ponies? Or not minotaurs?

Absolutely! Iron Will feels the pressure, Iron Will is always in the public eye.

Are those two groups the same people, though?

Not always, will often be different, people don't change their minds too much, but let Iron Will ask. If two different opinion groups are interconnected so much, why do they not share opinions and come to some consistent thought? Why do so many change from the middle ground to strong opinion when they just hear of it? Because they only react to whatever the media shoves in their faces! They don't think! Empathy cuts both ways and they don't have it!

So is this a cry for help?

Iron Will says no. Iron Will wants to make sure that there is empathy, not idolization and manufactured sympathy! Bundled with an expectation of exploitation! Stop using Iron Will for your own agendas! Celebrities do not live for you!

Did the Church of Scientology show you empathy when you worked for them? Or did they exploit you?

Iron Will, as a multibillionaire, might be a bit disconnected from the public, it's possible. But I never lacked for empathy there. They treated me right and made me stand up for myself. Iron Will is paying that forward and starting an Academy to teach young people to start on that self-affirmation journey! Iron Will got the idea from humans.

Would this include the Scientology Tone Scale to promote compliance? As part of the empathy? Or is that exploitative, perhaps?

Iron Will cannot talk about that. Iron Will left several years ago anyway.

But surely some of the effects on you still remain? They won't have gone immediately?

Iron Will refuses to comment. This is not true. I am not going to force compliance into anyone. And if you don't print that line I'll sue you.

Is that because it was too painful to talk about? Do you think you'll ever speak up for yourself?

Just because Iron Will keeps his frustrations silent and then punches a random person doesn't make him a fake macho tough guy who bottles up his anger out of fear. Honest. I'm truly tough! 'NO HESITATION! JUST INSPIRATION!' It's tough to apologise on live television!

To a group of equally rich friends who let you go up to get your award after punching a dude?

Shut the fuck up.

Could your time in the Church have affected you negatively? The Keep Scientology Working doctrine has a proven track record of teaching high-ranking members to be violent to subordinates...

Iron Will cannot comment, will not comment, hates violence. And if you mention it again I'll knock your fucking block off.

Thank you for your time. Perhaps as a journalist I should've treated this more gently.

Here at Horse News, we love empathy, so we will be covering this story and subsequent drama every day for the next two weeks. Because we care. We also hate violence and exploitation, and do not entertain it here, so we will be implementing a 'most read' rank order and move all that nasty stuff about the war going on down to the bottom of the page so you aren't troubled. This is more important anyway. Remember to upvote us on Reddit!

Screenshot from Iron Will's latest, eh, masterpiece.

Invasion Dispatches: Mayor Cheese Sandwich Opens Negotiations, Issues Response

Invasion Dispatches: Mayor Cheese Sandwich Opens Negotiations, Issues Response

Note: if you want to assist humans who are suffering in the crisis, here is a list of reputable charities to consider donating to.

In the past few moments, Mayor Cheese Sandwich has declared a formal response to Maud Pie's demands, as located in our previous dispatch here. This was during the first round of talks today

The Mayor has once again reaffirmed that he will not be ceding any territory of his town (Ewe-Crying) to Mares' Co Research Company, run and owned by Maud Pie, sister to Pinkamena 'Pinkie'. He has, however, agreed to keep the township politically neutral and unincorporated from NEATO or the Canterlot Council. Here is a roundup of the day's events, after the jump.

Mayor Cheese Sandwich (birth name Zandwichsky) seen at talks today.

Talks took place today in the neutral dragon lands, which is a member of NEATO (Non-Earth Pony Agricultural Tender Organisation) but a corporate affiliate and ally to both Ewe-Crying and Mares' Co. They were held by Dragonland viceroy Tayyip Airdragon.

Amid party cannons and rockets launched at Cave (the town centre) and Car Cave in the East of Ewe-Crying, Mares' Co forces have allegedly been seen to pull back further. More so in recent days, than can be accounted for by the successful counterattacks of Ewe-Crying security forces.

It was then confirmed by independent observers that some of the armoured cars are leaving. Originally this was believed to be a regroup, as Maud Pie, given the nickname Vader Maud Pie Tin by the public, had announced a plan to refocus their mission on simply securing the Don'task neighbourhood on the Eastern edge of town.

This was hailed by Equestrian police intelligence as a sign of admission of defeat. However, 'Vladdy' Maud has a proven track record for lying at this point. Firstly denying the invasion would happen, calling it training exercises. Then, when the invasion occurred, referring to it as a 'special operation', while her Town Council initiated a ban on any of the three newspapers or local TV station referring to it as an invasion. Then stating that she would stop the firework launches at neighbourhoods to allow families to evacuate, while the shelling continued.

So she has promised further action to reduce attacks on Cave and Car Cave 'substantially', but experts doubt if there will be any meaningful action.

In return, Ewe-Crying are proposing to remain politically neutral and not join NEATO. They also want all Mares' Co security forces out.

On the ground, however, Ewe-Crying forces are resisting thoroughly, even going on the counter attack. There are more preparations being made for another Mares' Co assault, which intelligence experts suspect may come after their regrouping.

Cheese Sandwich still remains in Cave. We were able to catch up with him briefly, detailing some of the plans in place should the Mares' Co withdrawal turn out to be a ruse.

What are your plans?

'We've got a ton of new defences in place.' He pointed to a building on the other side of the Crying River. 'Our volunteers are doing a great job, and there's a bunch of great characters. This building on the slope here, on the South side of the road - they've got orders to blow it up and block the valley, so Mares' Co forces can't reach the bridge. Just in case the building detonators don't work, this building on the other side has been rigged to blow as well. And its detonators are on a dead man's switch.'

So if the south side building doesn't blow up, the north side one will automatically?

'Absolutely. He continued. 'So I've got this new private in charge of lookout, all brass and boot polish, and I gave him a spot check to see how well he knows what to do. He'd be stationed on top of the north side building. It's absolutely vital that we avoid blowing that north side building at all costs.'

Why?

'It's a decommissioned sewage plant.'

Ah, I see.

'So anyway, I asked him, “What would you do if you saw the armored cars coming down the street?'

He said “I'd radio the demolitions expert to blow the charges on the southern building's foundations. He's down the road.”'

And what if they don't work?

'Ah, well, I asked him that, and the young foal said “I'd run down the north hill and check the control box on the road, make sure that the wires were all connected properly. Then I'd run up the hill on the other side to the building, make my way into the basement and check the charges hadn't been ruined by damp.”'

Did you ask him what to do if they didn't work either?

'Oh yes, he knew that one off by heart. He said, clear as day, “I'm brave, Mister Mayor. I'm so brave in fact that I'd run BACK DOWN the hill, under increasingly heavy fire no doubt, and grab as much plastic explosives as I could. I'd run ALL the way back up, back into the basement, slap that onto every detonator I could find, hoof it all the way back down and grab a Mega Supernova 3000 Firework and fire it right at the basement!”'

'I asked him, what if THAT doesn't work, hoping to stump him. What if he couldn't blow up the southern side building that way? And then he said “I'll get my Uncle Buryatka.”'

...Why would he get his Uncle Buryatka?

'He said “Because he's never seen a swewage explosion before!”'

Frontline Dispatches: Mares' Co Ponies Turn Churn 'n' Boil Reactor Off.

There is a refugee crisis currently happening on Earth. If you want to help there are a list of reputable charities located here

In our last frontline report, we covered the heavy fighting taking place around the Churn 'n' Boil reactor in the north of the shepherd town of Ewe-Crying. The Mayor, stand-up comedian Cheese Sandwich, reports that armed security forces led by Pie Tin have managed to capture the derelict reactor and have forced staff to turn it off.

Experts fear that a crisis is imminent.

What is the Churn 'n' Boil Reactor?

This reactor is the oldest gas processing plant in all of Equestria. Originally a (relatively) green and pleasant means of generating power, it was purposed by the previous owners of the town to extract fuel from clay and also fertiliser. This biomass plant generated a large amount of gas which had to be extracted safely.

What's it used for now?

Currently the plant is still used for fuel by the current Mayor Cheese Sandwich to power facilities in the U Laughing Campus, and the surrounding shepherd town of Ewe-Crying. However, he also repurposed the gas to use as fart gas and other amusements in his chain of joke shops. As the name implies, this is achieved through the plant's boiling facilities. However, the gas in its unfiltered state is toxic.

Why is turning it off such a hazard?

Several years ago the plant fell victim to an explosion when a newly trained engineer, sent from Mares' Co to help oversee construction on a new set of monitors, ignored the primary safety rule:

Mares' Co, the research and homewares company of which Maud 'Pie Tin' is the current owner, and surrounding town, built the plant. Global experts from multiple countries have stated that poor construction was to blame. Mares' Co deny all responsibility, stating it was due to insistence of “a desire by Ewe-Crying's estates team and engineers, who we worked with to build the plant, to use Western bourgeois imperial units, creating confusion among the different teams in construction.”.

As an effect of the explosion, fart gas vented for three entire nights, leading many of the sheep farmers several miles away, surrounded by their woolly manure machines, to complain about a 'bad smell.' The fact that farmers were noticing a bad smell was considered a sign of its severity, and many were forcibly evacuated to other parts of Equestria.

This toxic gas was covered over with a large concrete dome, with constant filtration and cooling systems running to prevent the gas rising to toxic levels. With this turned off, fears are the gas may reach critical pressure, or even spark, and “going off like a massive stink bomb with all eggy smells and watering eyes.”

This map shows the health effects posed by Churn 'n' Boil should its fart gas reactor go critical.

Map size = 3 by 3 miles.

How are the workers faring?

The workers have currently been working double shifts (sixteen hours each) and forcibly confined to the complex by Mares' Co soldiers. This has led to them suffering sleep deprivation and living in slave like conditions, in parallel to a certain event taking place in another dimension. In all seriousness, this is causing genuine concern among everyone, including this reporter.

It is unclear, in this reporter's opinion, how Pie Tin can claim to be searching for chemical weapons and that they are a threat to Mares' Co, and expect such claims to be taken seriously on the international stage while taking such foolhardy and reckless military tactics, including but not limited to firing high powered party popper shells at this chemical weapons complex.

All such claims have so far been unverified by experts. This reporter hopes, genuinely, that no disaster occurs. He is, as you can imagine, quite scared, and is watching with the rest of the pony continent with tense and baited breath. But we'll do what we can to cover this and help get you through in a professional and dignified manner.

Who are the experts that have released statements?

The BRRAAAAP (Board of Realtime Reacting Awesome not Annoyingly Anal Analyst Ponies), and their experts in the Hot Air Division.

In other news, there has been backlash to comments made comparing the current struggle in Ewe-Crying to the Griffish Isles' Eggsit Referendum, by current Prime Minister Birdhorse Johnson.

Experts suggest they could take cues from human methods of replenishing gas stocks, as detailed in this promotional photo of Air Biscuits, a Documentary by Dr. J Fartpants.