mon amour

My therapist: you need to trust yourself

There is no packaging. It came wrapped in a swatch of cream colored cotton. I have no idea what to do with this

stick it to the fridge

If that really came from inside the bath bomb, how is the hand holding it perfectly dry? If they took the time to dry it off, why take the pic over the tub? If not, why transfer the magnet to the dry hand, leaving only the wet hand for wielding the phone?

hi yeah I didn’t want to get water all over my phone since water Destroys Phones so I reached over to the towel hanging next to the bath and dried off my hands and the magnet before I picked up the phone let me know if you have any more questions my office hours are MWF 11AM-Noon or by appointment via email

also I play the banjo so I keep the nails on my right hand much longer than my left and I hate how short nails look so I DID switch hands

IF YOU MUST KNOW

I TOOK THAT PHOTO BY SETTING A THREE SECOND TIMER AND TUCKING MY PHONE UNDER MY CHIN!! IT TOOK MULTIPLE TRIES!!! AM I UNDER ARREST OR AM I FREE TO GO

why didn’t you just use your left hand to take the photo?

can u tell me real fast how i would have used my left hand to take this photo

i’m open to suggestions

wait, one more

Some retail complaints from twitter this morning. I don’t think anyone can fully comprehend how stupid humans are until they work a retail or hospitality job.

I’d like to add on the people who ask a question, get an answer they don’t like and ask the same question in a different way to get the response they want.

I get stuff like this often enough at work, but that last one? There is one customer we have that does that so frequently and for so long (personal record with me is goddamn FORTY MINUTES of trying to get the answer she wanted) that we call her Circle Lady when she isn’t present.

Then there are the ones who do this, fail, and try it again with the same employees the next day.

Me: “For the drink, it’s [x amount] :)”

Customer: “I saw a sign that I get a free drink?”

Me: “For signing up for our rewards program, yes :)”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t have one of those”

Me: “Well if you sign up, you can get the free drink! :)”

Customer: “Eh I don’t want to sign up”

Me: “…” “…” “:)”

Customer: “I hate getting all those emails”

Me: “Oh, well you can opt out of emails, I can show you how :)”

Customer: “No thanks, I don’t want an account”

Me: “Okay… well the drink will be [x amount] :)”

Customer: “I thought it was free?”

Me: “:)”

Me: “It’s free if you sign up for our rewards program :)”

Customer: “I don’t want to sign up”

Me: “Then the drink isn’t free :)”

Customer: “You can’t just give me the drink?”

Me: “No, I can’t unfortunately :)”

Customer: “Why not? It’s only [x amount]”

Me: “If that’s not a lot of money to you, why don’t you just pay for it? :)”

Customer: “This is shit customer service”

Me: “:)”

Customer: “This is highway robbery, squeezing every dime out of people, you should be ashamed of yourself—”

Me: “I don’t control the prices, I’m just a cashier :)“

Customer: “—making a fucking fuss over a damn drink and it’s not even a large—”

Me: “That’s not my decision, I’m just a cashier :)”

Customer: “—and you bet I won’t be coming back here again”

Me: “How unfortunate :)”

I can feel the :) deep in my soul

i want to be in love and i want it to not hurt

you should experience this. via

https://www.vitaminwater.com/hit-refresh-for-exotic-mango-island-pic/and-20fl-oz-of-tropical-oasis/wow/wish-i-was-there/enhanced/e/the-hot-key-is-command-shift-r/electrolytes/be-sure-to-hit-refresh/but-not-too-much/you-have-to-give/the-page-a-chance-to-load/

x

what on earth

please if you do anything useful in your life, don’t scroll past this

watch it

PLEASE

tchaikovsky is proud

In case anyone is baffled by this, there’s a Tchaikovsky piece in which there’s supposed to be a loud sound but he never specified what you should use to make that sound. People have done all kinds of weird shit depending on how they think the sound should, well, sound. Hitting a large piece of wood with a sledgehammer is a relatively conventional one.

not to be full of love but uhh *taps heart* there’s a whole lot in there

When I click on a video and it tries to send me to another app:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo

U know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. And ur entire life. Everything is awful bc my hair is greasy

touchscreen keyboards are like fine and all but when my fingers go click click click on a real keyboard .…. .pushin all th buttons .. … …well thats nice