Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

In his defense his wife triple dog dared him and called him a pussy

what the actual fuck

Men don’t know women can pee

ive been sitting on the toilet for 20 minutes trying to piss but the pee keeps getting lost in my confusing Woman Body

i haven’t peed in 16 days… my pee keeps running into the minotaur in the labyrinth that is my Womanly Excretory System

bonus: 

lasanyer

People need to realize that there’s a difference between straight people and Straight People™

Straight person: Hey, you got a new haircut. Looks really good.

Straight Person™: No homo, but your haircut looks good on you.

In case you were confused 👌

Just like how there are white people who are gay and then there are the White Gays

White people who are gay: “I’m gay.”

White Gays: “I can’t believe I got accused of racism after calling that person a racial slur! I mean, I know what racism looks like because I’ve been discriminated for my sexuality. How is me being racist even possible? I’M GAY!”

Lmao all the angry White and Straight people in the comments, keep reblogging

neurotypical: i don’t have any mental illnesses or disorders Neurotypical™: Happiness is a choice!! ✨✨Have you tried yoga? Drink more water and eat kale ✨✨

cis person: i identify completely as my assigned gender Cis Person™: It doesn’t matter what you identify as, cause you still have Female Genitals! I’m not being offensive!! Read a book on Human Biology! 🚹🚺

men: I identify as male.

Men™: feminazis ruin everything, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich bitch

atheists: I don’t believe in god or identify with a religion

Atheists™: Don’t fucking talk to me if you believe in God. Open your closed-fucking-minds!! (usually targeted towards Christians)

nice guys: hey I know when not to invade someone’s space and I totally respect boundaries

Nice Guys™: IVE BEEN YOUR FRIEND FOR A MONTH AND NOW YOURE TELLING ME YOU DONT WANT TO FUCK ME ???? WHAT IS THE POINT OF WOMEN IF YOURE NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME?

this post got all kinds of better since I last saw it

This post is perfection across the board.

christians: i believe in God

Christians™: GOD IS THE ONLY GOD OH GOD IS THAT STAR A PENTAGRAM?!?!?!?!?! READ YOUR BIBLE EVERYDAY IF YOU DONT YOUVE FAILED ALSO IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME IN ANY WAY YOURE GONNA GO TO HELL CAUSE IM A CHRISTIAN AND IM EXEMPT FROM RULES CAUSE GOD SAID SO

gamers: I like video games

Gamers™: Video Games are Art and you can keep your political correctness bullshit right out of them! Anyway that female character CHOSE to dress that way!

parent of an autistic kid: I love my kid unconditionally

Autism Parent™: I cry online about how I “love” my kid but sometimes have really elaborate and well planned fantasies about murdering them cuz mY lIfE Is ReALlY hARd

Spring is coming🌿💐

im going through my skyrim screenshot folder

Who names their character Susan

I’m poisoning an enchanted crossbow, which I gave a nickname to so I wouldn’t accidentally sell it. The name of the weapon is “delicious quinoa, Susan”.

As you do

What started off as a small lie, but snowballed into “this is my life now”?

My freshman year of college I was walking around campus when a very friendly looking girl waved at me. I’m awkward, so of course I waved back. The next week, the same thing.

This began the weirdest saga of my life.

For the next two years, we greeted each other as old friends every time we came across the other. She knew my name (somehow?), I never could figure hers out and it was WAY too late to ask. I just pretended I knew who she was and why she knew me.

Finally, I joined the honors program and entered my classes for my thesis. Who should be in this class but mystery girl! I was horrified. I wouldn’t be able to pass it off anymore.

First day of class we are all sitting there chatting and she greets me by name, again. I had finally learned her name from attendance, thank God. Someone asks, finally, “oh, so do you two know each other? Where’d you meet?”

Silence.

I stare at her. She stares at me. Finally she breaks down wailing. “I don’t know! I don’t know, okay, we’ve just been waving at each other for two years and it was too late to ask!”

Shes standing in my wedding next spring as one of my bridesmaids and very best friends.

Cecil is an emotional baby pt. 2

*crying* it’s okay cecil

The Retromini (Retro mini) is a handheld console which can play GB, GBC, GBA and NES Games. At only 103. grams with the battery, it is lightweight and extremely portable. Bundling 36 Games into one convenient player that fits in your pocket, with the potential to hold hundreds more games with its MicroSD slot. It is an ideal choice for entertainment on-the-go. You can find the Retro Mini HERE!

1. Retromini (United States)

2. Retromini + 8gb TF Card (International)

I GOT THIS AND IT IS SO FUCKING COOL

Guess what i got for christmas 😩🙌😭💯🎄

@ebristol88 WE NEED ONE OR TWO.

Bruh, so it comes with a microsd card.. which i thought it was empty ….but it contains 500 advance games… excuse me

While im reliving my childhood 👀🙌

HEY NOW, YOU’RE AN ALL STAR, GET YOUR GAME ON, GO PLAY!

disturbing dreams. by ilmari-nen

I was playing skyrim and it kept saying “cannot fast travel when guards are pursuing you” but there were no guards near me, so I grabbed my laptop to see if there was a fix for the glitch and when I looked back up at my screen I saw this

when i was a kid rummaging thru my mums cd collection to steal Good Stuff i accidentally stumbled across one called ‘songs for bonking’ which was coloured awful negative neon picture of ppls feet on top of each other in a bed and ALL the songs were like fucking ska punk 

cool it was worse than i remembered