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i remember dusk

@infierceways / infierceways.tumblr.com

That dance you taught us—I'll learn its language in my body: lift and flail to beat the grain from the husk, remembering to save some to return to you, remembering that I will return here, a seed. -- Nan Fry
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infierceways

For a long time, Peggy had no home. Her apartment in New York was shared, her rooms at Stark’s mansion were not her own, her colleagues let her know every way she didn’t belong whenever she looked up from what little work she was allowed. She thought, sometimes, about joining the Commandos, because at least with them, she belonged. But the gaping hole at their front - she and Steve used to lead missions together, and she couldn’t do it without thinking of him. It was, to put it bluntly, a little like dragging herself over hot coals.

She’s not sure when it changed. Kissing Daniel, sure. Deciding to stay in LA, well, that did begin to change things, but Los Angeles is a godforsaken pit, and it’s too bloody hot, all the time. And yet, she no longer feels that disconnect.

“What the hell are you thinking so hard about, Carter?” Jack sounds as chipper as ever, stuck in a hospital bed as he is.

“Nothing,” she says. “Are you going to drag this hospital nonsense on any longer, or are you ready to get out of here?” “Please,” Jack says, dropping his swagger immediately. “Get me the fuck out of here. Can you?”

“I came to do just that,” she says. “Howard has set up a nice little nursing unit, and you and Ana can do physical therapy together. She’s coming along nicely, but you should be used to being beaten by a girl by now.”

Jack laughs. “Rub it in, will you,” he says. “Joke’s on you, I’ll go along with anything so long as I don’t have to stay here any longer.”

“That’s a dangerous thing to say,” she says, and she knows her voice is warm. Daniel told her to be nice to Jack when he sent her to pick him up because he was stuck in a phone meeting with the top brass, but they don’t do nice, her and Jack.

“Come on, Carter, have a heart,” he says, looking as puppyish as he ever has. He yelps when she hauls him out of bed but submits to her dressing him, and they’re out the door without incident.

In the car, she looks over, about to ask if he’s hungry, but he’s clearly fallen asleep. The shadows under his eyes are deep, like he hasn’t slept well in the hospital. She imagines he hasn’t felt all that safe, despite the guard on the door. biting her lip, she tries to ignore the warm feeling in her stomach. When did she become this fond of bloody Jack Thompson?

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Please make a post about the story of the RMS Carpathia, because it's something that's almost beyond belief and more people should know about it.

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Carpathia received Titanic’s distress signal at 12:20am, April 15th, 1912. She was 58 miles away, a distance that absolutely could not be covered in less than four hours.

(Californian’s exact position at the time is…controversial. She was close enough to have helped. By all accounts she was close enough to see Titanic’s distress rockets. It’s uncertain to this day why her crew did not respond, or how many might not have been lost if she had been there. This is not the place for what-ifs. This is about what was done.)

Carpathia’s Captain Rostron had, yes, rolled out of bed instantly when woken by his radio operator, ordered his ship to Titanic’s aid and confirmed the signal before he was fully dressed. The man had never in his life responded to an emergency call. His goal tonight was to make sure nobody who heard that fact would ever believe it.

All of Carpathia’s lifeboats were swung out ready for deployment. Oil was set up to be poured off the side of the ship in case the sea turned choppy; oil would coat and calm the water near Carpathia if that happened, making it safer for lifeboats to draw up alongside her. He ordered lights to be rigged along the side of the ship so survivors could see it better, and had nets and ladders rigged along her sides ready to be dropped when they arrived, in order to let as many survivors as possible climb aboard at once.

I don’t know if his making provisions for there still being survivors in the water was optimism or not. I think he knew they were never going to get there in time for that. I think he did it anyway because, god, you have to hope.

Carpathia had three dining rooms, which were immediately converted into triage and first aid stations. Each had a doctor assigned to it. Hot soup, coffee, and tea were prepared in bulk in each dining room, and blankets and warm clothes were collected to be ready to hand out. By this time, many of the passengers were awake–prepping a ship for disaster relief isn’t quiet–and all of them stepped up to help, many donating their own clothes and blankets.

And then he did something I tend to refer to as diverting all power from life support.

Here’s the thing about steamships: They run on steam. Shocking, I know; but that steam powers everything on the ship, and right now, Carpathia needed power. So Rostron turned off hot water and central heating, which bled valuable steam power, to everywhere but the dining rooms–which, of course, were being used to make hot drinks and receive survivors. He woke up all the engineers, all the stokers and firemen, diverted all that steam back into the engines, and asked his ship to go as fast as she possibly could. And when she’d done that, he asked her to go faster.

I need you to understand that you simply can’t push a ship very far past its top speed. Pushing that much sheer tonnage through the water becomes harder with each extra knot past the speed it was designed for. Pushing a ship past its rated speed is not only reckless–it’s difficult to maneuver–but it puts an incredible amount of strain on the engines. Ships are not designed to exceed their top speed by even one knot. They can’t do it. It can’t be done.

Carpathia’s absolute do-or-die, the-engines-can’t-take-this-forever top speed was fourteen knots. Dodging icebergs, in the dark and the cold, surrounded by mist, she sustained a speed of almost seventeen and a half.

No one would have asked this of them. It wasn’t expected. They were almost sixty miles away, with icebergs in their path. They had a responsibility to respond; they did not have a responsibility to do the impossible and do it well. No one would have faulted them for taking more time to confirm the severity of the issue. No one would have blamed them for a slow and cautious approach. No one but themselves.

They damn near broke the laws of physics, galloping north headlong into the dark in the desperate hope that if they could shave an hour, half an hour, five minutes off their arrival time, maybe for one more person those five minutes would make the difference. I say: three people had died by the time they were lifted from the lifeboats. For all we know, in another hour it might have been more. I say they made all the difference in the world.

This ship and her crew received a message from a location they could not hope to reach in under four hours. Just barely over three hours later, they arrived at Titanic’s last known coordinates. Half an hour after that, at 4am, they would finally find the first of the lifeboats. it would take until 8:30 in the morning for the last survivor to be brought onboard. Passengers from Carpathia universally gave up their berths, staterooms, and clothing to the survivors, assisting the crew at every turn and sitting with the sobbing rescuees to offer whatever comfort they could.

In total, 705 people of Titanic’s original 2208 were brought onto Carpathia alive. No other ship would find survivors.

At 12:20am April 15th, 1912, there was a miracle on the North Atlantic. And it happened because a group of humans, some of them strangers, many of them only passengers on a small and unimpressive steam liner, looked at each other and decided: I cannot live with myself if I do anything less.

I think the least we can do is remember them for it.

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halvedhab

Yes, we’re rivals and we’re chasing after the same dream. But I’m also with someone that knows me and knows my path better than anyone else.

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infierceways

THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL NOW MAKE THE DAMN MOVIE ALREADY

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Hazel Scott playing two pianos at the same damn time with ease

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erinbowbooks

Hazel Scott was a musical sorcerer and a civil rights hero.   She:

  •  was admitted to Julliard at 8.  
  • was performing in top venues by 16.  
  • pioneered “swinging the classics” and made the equivalent of a million dollars a year doing it.  
  • was the first person of color to have their own national TV show.  
  • went to Hollywood but refused to be cast as a “singing maid.”  Demanded and got control over her casting, her wardrobe, and how footage featuring her was cut.  
  • refused to perform in segregated venues and led charges for integration in several northern cities, notably Spokane.  

She was brought down by the House Committee on Unamerican Activities, and has been largely forgotten.  But she was a sorcerer, and a hero.  

Let’s un-forget her.

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Not really here but

Climate anxiety is hitting me so hard it’s hard to breathe. How do you deal with the world maybe (probably) ending?

Couple of things that can do a lot:

- Eat more vegetarian/vegan food (I’m not saying go fully vegan, that’s hard and expensive for some folks, but it will help if people, say, only eat meat once a day or once a week, particularly if it’s lots of people)

- Fly less. Pay for UN-certified climate compensation when you do. 

- Have less kids. 

- Support family planning projects.

Send me an ask if you want tips on how to make your life less bad for the climate.

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A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying “You can pet me, but don’t pick me up!” One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him “did you see the sign?” He said “yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don’t pet them!” Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said “I didn’t read it right did I?” And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said “its ok, i know you’ve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits” And I still haven’t gotten over that interaction.

I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He’s a little thing tbh we call him short and long. So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like “hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your’s is so small I think it’s a good place to start.” Ofc I was like “yes he’s very friendly!” So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks “can I pick him up?” And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two’s lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes “hey man, it’s okay just relax I’d never let anything hurt you. He’s a good boy.” I’ll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like ‘ah yes the two least intimidating living things I’ve seen in Boston all day he’ll feel relaxed around them’ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy

I love this

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katjohnadams

I was (of course it was) in NYC at the time, riding on the R train and this burly, tall, leather and black jeans with fuck off huge steel-plated knee-highs and a fourteen foot lime green mohawk gets on the train and sit’s down, his jansport backpack making this Ghu-awful THUNK as he sets it between his feet. And no one says anything. Everyone saw him because how could you not?

And he opens his bag and starts rustling through it and sets aside some YA novel that I don’t remember but that it had this absolutely lovely lavender purple cover. and then he pulls out his fucking knitting and just goes to town. Just, minding his own business, knitting away intently, listening to his earbuds.

And wasn’t a person on that train gonna say a DAMN thing about it. No one pointed or made any comments because this dude was built to crush motherfuckers. And he was knitting in public so you know he knew no fear and was happy and confident and then this little girl walked away from her mum and walked straight up to him and waved and her mother looked surprised (but not scared, this is NYC - we don’t know fear because we’re too busy). But the guy sees this little girl wave at him and just gives her the BIGGEST SMILE and waves back and takes out an earbud and says hi and they start talking about knitting and how he learned on his own and she wanted to learn and her mother didn’t know. But he suggested that there were knitting clubs and a lot of them were free and would happily help a new little knitter like her.

It was the single most adorable and heart warming thing of my life. Like here’s this dude with a Rancid t-shirt that looks like it was probably printed in someone’s flat fifteen years ago with an anti-nazi patch right over his heart and enough metal in his clothes to be worth recycling but a little girl waved and what type of nasty, heartless fuck doesn’t smile at kids? That ain’t punk.

Used to work at a nature center, which was attached to an elementary school. Occasionally the fire alarms would go off, and for the most part, we’d all just go about our business (weekly fire drills for the kids didn’t mean that the snakes tanks didn’t need cleaning).

In the middle of one of these alarms, I had a lovely 7’ long red rat snake wrapped around me while I was cleaning up. (She was my favorite - active, but polite, never bit or struck or pulled back to threaten it, or musked me, no matter what I did with her). Of course, law of averages, there had to be one that was a “real” alarm. Bunch of big firefighters come in, demanded to know why we weren’t outside with everyone else, the work’s.

And then they started screaming.

High pitched, girly shrieks. As first one, then another, noticed I was wearing a snake.

And, of course, the screaming brought more fire fighters over, who also screamed… let’s just say I had three trucks worth of dudes gathered around me, stunned that I would -wear- a snake. Who, of course, saw new people and was doing her best to make friends.

Once the false alarm was sorted, they all came back, to a man, to meet the snakes. I had enough for each of them to “try one on.”

These big, buff dudes, who risk their lives running into raging fires without a thought, had to hype themselves up for me to put a young hog nose in their palms. Anxiety sweat dropped down their faces and soaked through their undershirts as I let the red and grey rat snakes cool around their arms. When the garden snake slipped down one guy’s collar, I thought he was going to drop dead from a heart attack, right there. But they all did it! And survived!

I just wish I’d taken pictures to show the third graders when they came in after classes finished!

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xfulcrumx

I go to college early or fall semester because of marching band and so do a lot of the fall sports teams right? So I’m in line in the dining hall, waiting for some spaghetti or something and two dudes from the soccer team or football team or something are behind me, just chatting, and I’m alone so I’m lowkey eavesdropping. At some point Sports Boy 1 notices another sports boy and points out the pants he’s wearing to his friend, Sports Boy 2. And he says something along the lines of “Those were the pants I was talking about before. What do you think? Could I pull them off?” And Sports Boy 2 looks around and finds the pants Sports Boy 1 was talking about and goes “yeah I think you could pull them off,” and then he paused and almost like an afterthought said “but you know, what’s important is that you feel confident in them,”

And man I sat there so touched because like, yes bro preach that body postivity to your friend, remind him that it’s not about what other people think but how he feels.

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mizubyte

My life to have witnessed the firefighters meeting the snakes. Bless their hearts 🤣🤣🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

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so the new zealand all blacks are fucking legends and now their new rugby jersey’s reveal the rainbow flag once stretched

The famous All Blacks team wants to show its support for the LGBTI community after Israel Folau’s controversial statement damning all gays to hell

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chibihobbit

SHIT. THIS IS THEEEE COOLEST WAY TO SUPPORT. I WANNA WATCH A GAME NOW.

Please check out the awesome launch video, which features the men’s team (the All Blacks) and the women’s team (the Black Ferns) equally:

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reblogged

I’m screaming??? So my cat knows I get upset when he steps on my paintings (not yelling or anything I think he just sees me spend hours trying to cover up what his paws do) in my “studio” which is a crammed small storage closet with painting all over the floor drying , so like I’m in there rn and I saw him try to get to point A to point b but it was impossible for him to jump over so like he realized the matte parts were dry and like he was stepping on the corners of the painting and every step he’d look at his paw to see if he fucked up and honestly it was the most thoughtful thing ever I don’t ever wanna hear anyone ever say that cats don’t care

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reblogged

“When I was 26, I went to Indonesia and the Philippines to do research for my first book, No Logo. I had a simple goal: to meet the workers making the clothes and electronics that my friends and I purchased. And I did. I spent evenings on concrete floors in squalid dorm rooms where teenage girls—sweet and giggly—spent their scarce nonworking hours. Eight or even 10 to a room. They told me stories about not being able to leave their machines to pee. About bosses who hit. About not having enough money to buy dried fish to go with their rice.

They knew they were being badly exploited—that the garments they were making were being sold for more than they would make in a month. One 17-year-old said to me: “We make computers, but we don’t know how to use them.”

So one thing I found slightly jarring was that some of these same workers wore clothing festooned with knockoff trademarks of the very multinationals that were responsible for these conditions: Disney characters or Nike check marks. At one point, I asked a local labor organizer about this. Wasn’t it strange—a contradiction?

It took a very long time for him to understand the question. When he finally did, he looked at me like I was nuts. You see, for him and his colleagues, individual consumption wasn’t considered to be in the realm of politics at all. Power rested not in what you did as one person, but what you did as many people, as one part of a large, organized, and focused movement. For him, this meant organizing workers to go on strike for better conditions, and eventually it meant winning the right to unionize. What you ate for lunch or happened to be wearing was of absolutely no concern whatsoever.

This was striking to me, because it was the mirror opposite of my culture back home in Canada. Where I came from, you expressed your political beliefs—firstly and very often lastly—through personal lifestyle choices. By loudly proclaiming your vegetarianism. By shopping fair trade and local and boycotting big, evil brands.

These very different understandings of social change came up again and again a couple of years later, once my book came out. I would give talks about the need for international protections for the right to unionize. About the need to change our global trading system so it didn’t encourage a race to the bottom. And yet at the end of those talks, the first question from the audience was: “What kind of sneakers are OK to buy?” “What brands are ethical?” “Where do you buy your clothes?” “What can I do, as an individual, to change the world?”

Fifteen years after I published No Logo, I still find myself facing very similar questions. These days, I give talks about how the same economic model that superpowered multinationals to seek out cheap labor in Indonesia and China also supercharged global greenhouse-gas emissions. And, invariably, the hand goes up: “Tell me what I can do as an individual.” Or maybe “as a business owner.”

The hard truth is that the answer to the question “What can I, as an individual, do to stop climate change?” is: nothing. You can’t do anything. In fact, the very idea that we—as atomized individuals, even lots of atomized individuals—could play a significant part in stabilizing the planet’s climate system, or changing the global economy, is objectively nuts. We can only meet this tremendous challenge together. As part of a massive and organized global movement.

The irony is that people with relatively little power tend to understand this far better than those with a great deal more power. The workers I met in Indonesia and the Philippines knew all too well that governments and corporations did not value their voice or even their lives as individuals. And because of this, they were driven to act not only together, but to act on a rather large political canvas. To try to change the policies in factories that employ thousands of workers, or in export zones that employ tens of thousands. Or the labor laws in an entire country of millions. Their sense of individual powerlessness pushed them to be politically ambitious, to demand structural changes.

In contrast, here in wealthy countries, we are told how powerful we are as individuals all the time. As consumers. Even individual activists. And the result is that, despite our power and privilege, we often end up acting on canvases that are unnecessarily small—the canvas of our own lifestyle, or maybe our neighborhood or town. Meanwhile, we abandon the structural changes—the policy and legal work— to others.”

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micdotcom

Molly Suzanna shared a story on Facebook that she had never told before: when she was 19, she ran a red light while crying, then was pulled over and forcefully removed and beaten by a police officer. She explains in the letter that she believes her situation would have been even worse had she been black — and she ends the letter with an important call to action.

Source: mic.com
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“Acceptance” as a part of emotional healing means “acceptance that this is where you are, and all positive progress will stem from this point in time, you cannot move forward from some imaginary point in the past or future, you can only begin from where you actually are.”

It does not mean “you need to learn to regard the shit situation you were/are in as acceptable.”

That shit that happened/is happening to you?  That is merely the reality of what has happened/is happening.  Your goal is not to say “it’s okay”, to forgive, to say “this situation is fine”.  You NEVER have to say those things if you don’t want to, and you SHOULDN’T say those things if they are not true, it will not make things go any faster.

Your goal is to be able to say “WELP, here’s where we are, in Bullshit City.  I guess we start from here.”

Acceptance is a realistic assessment of where you are and a willingness to begin from there.  It is a recognition that old patterns, whether positive or negative, cannot or do not have to continue.

And it’s not a 100% all-or-nothing thing.  Some days you will be a lot more level than others.  Some days you will be really angry or sad about what happened/what you lost/what is happening.  That’s okay.  But on many and eventually most days you will be a lot more focused on the future, and what you can do.  And believe me, that is SUCH a huge relief.

Soooo, if someone is encouraging you to think of “acceptance” solely as “contentment” or “totally at peace”, they are approaching it wrong, in a very not-helpful way.

If you are struggling, maybe it will help you to see that this important recovery stage is not an insultingly tall hurdle you have to jump with a smile on your face and perfect gracefulness.  

It is merely an end to foundering because you have found your new solid ground.  It will be a quiet, messy thing, and it may sneak up on you, but it will come.  And from there, you can go in many different directions.  New ones.  Ones you never imagined.

If you aren’t there yet, keep going.  Fight and scream and cry if you have to. All that shit is necessary shit!  Do what you gotta do!  Just keep slogging, and try to hold on to the fact that eventually, even if you don’t feel like it, you’ll get there.

The bad stuff will never be “okay”.  But YOU can be.  YOU can be okay.  You WILL be.

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doomhamster

Very important, especially because it’s so common for abuse victims to start out not thinking they ARE abuse victims. To go “well in GENERAL of course it’s not okay to hurt your kids, but my dad didn’t really BEAT me, he just…” The first step for many of us is to, yes, ACCEPT that what was done to us was wrong - the exact opposite of pretending it’s all right!

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interspacing
Janet (of Tam Lin fame) is a sass master. One day I will play a Changeling concept based on this boss woman. “Oh Father, if I go with child, this much to you I tell: There’s none among your gentlemen that I would treat so well. And Father, if I go with child, I must bare the blame: There’s none among your gentleman shall give the babe his name.”
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infierceways

oh man @soemily and i must finish our les mis/tam lin au 

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npr

Back in the 1960s, the U.S. started vaccinating kids for measles. As expected, children stopped getting measles.

But something else happened.

Childhood deaths from all infectious diseases plummeted. Even deaths from diseases like pneumonia and diarrhea were cut by half.

“So it’s really been a mystery — why do children stop dying at such high rates from all these different infections following introduction of the measles vaccine,” says Michael Mina, a postdoc in biology at Princeton University and a medical student at Emory University.

Scientists Crack A 50-Year-Old Mystery About The Measles Vaccine Photo credit: Photofusion/UIG via Getty Images

Using computer models, they found that the number of measles cases in these countries predicted the number of deaths from other infections two to three years later.
“We found measles predisposes children to all other infectious diseases for up to a few years,” Mina says.
And the virus seems to do it in a sneaky way.
Like many viruses, measles is known to suppress the immune system for a few weeks after an infection. But previous studies in monkeys have suggested that measles takes this suppression to a whole new level: It erases immune protection to other diseases, Mina says.

VACCINATE. YOUR. DAMN. KIDS. 

Source: NPR
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