really need someone to slonk my shit rn stupid style

Language matters. No person is illegal. Stop the dehumanization.

I think the best most human thing in the world is strangers doing a silly thing together

Examples:

- guy at work "Yes, and -" ing the bit me and my coworker were doing where we pretended to be owners of a fantasy medieval tavern not minimum wage retail staff

- at the gay club when Die Young by Kesha came on and two hundred people, all dancing and drinking separately, jumped up and down to make the "- beat of the drums *STOMP STOMP*" as loud as possible

- person who watched me stomp round the beach singing a made up song about breakfast foods to name a cat after and suggested more breakfast foods that would be good cat names

- guy who started a dance off with everyone across the road while waiting for the lights to change

- very tiny girl at the pharmacy interviewing everyone in the queue and every single one of us in turn sat down and answered this toddler's questions like we were on Letterman

The three pillars of humanity, in no particular order, are Joy, Absurdity, and Sharing

Can't explain but he seems like he'd be antivax.

Walmart is reporting record-breaking sales and profits for the past year. They have more money then they could use in a dozen lifetimes and are literally making more money then they ever have before, this is all lies so people blame shoplifters when the Walton family price gouges you even more.

Who could have done this?! 😼

hey. don't cry. I went to Mad At You island and none of your friends were there :)

But why were YOU there??

heard porn bots might be following you guys again. sorry about that. but in some good news i have been gaining many new followers who are real stunningly beautiful women. welcome ladies :)

if staff doesn't handle these porn bots soon then i will be forced to handle the situation

i will simply put a stop to this nonsense

i will fuck all of them myself

new years resolution is to become cartoonishly evil

me on January 1st. LOL

that hotel california comic makes me lose my shit every single time & i’m so thankful for it honestly

there we go

this will be the year

what is the truth barbara