The only reason Remus was never Quidditch commentator is because the games weren’t designed to handle that level of smart, sarcastic commentary.

Also, he said “Fuck” way too often for McGonagall to sanction it.

“Sorry, Professor.”

Remus: Ever Fucking Merlin above, great catch by James Fleamont Potter–

McGonagall: Mr. Lupin!

Remus: Sorry, Professor. Anyway, Slytherin’s got the Quaffle now, because some people feel like snogging instead of going to practice – I’m looking at you Frank Longbottom. And… yes! Avery is practically knocked into the next century by a bludger artfully aimed by Beater Shacklebolt. See, Longbottom? That’s what dedication and practice do for you.

McGonagall: Less personal grudges, more game commentary, Mr. Lupin.

Remus: Sorry, Professor. And is that…? Yes! Seeker McKinnon goes into a dive! She’s brilliant! She’s perfect! She’s… a lump on the ground. Apparently she can see the snitch from the other side of the pitch, but she can’t see the ground right in front of her fucking face.

McGonagall: Alright, you’re out. 

remus: fuck, that was fucking close.

mcgonagall: mr. lupin……please….

remus: right, professor, of course. there goes diggory - never liked him much, but what can you do? - and gryffindor’s got the quaffle! and fucking yikes - look at that shit - that’s clearly a fucking foul! so apparently avery can knock my fucking boyfriend into the ground, but he can’t catch the quaffle. ha! 

mcgonagall: tone down the swearing, if you will, mr. lupin?

remus: sorry, professor. and here we go, the two seekers are neck for neck, toe for toe, and wait - fucking hell! is seeker mckinnon pulling out her wand and summoning the fucking snitch? i take back everything i fucking said about her, she’s brilliant - and it didn’t work, amazing. truly warrants an outstanding.

mcgonagall: slytherin seems to have obtained the snitch, mr. lupin.

remus: [covering his eyes] i’m sorry, professor, i seemed to have not seen it, therefore it didn’t fucking happen.

Week 1 of Inktober! My theme this year is plant witches~ ^o^

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I'm gay and my glasses are dirty

reblog if you’re gay and your glasses are dirty

what do other people have against subtitles? like bitch,.. my ears are Not Friends with my brain, let me have my captions

plus sized girls are beautiful and deserve to feel sexy and treated better than as just a kink

And the award for most relatable Harry Potter quote goes to:

“No, I’m fine,” said Harry, wondering why he kept telling people this, and wondering whether he had ever been less fine.

i’m still feeling crappy about this wedding i don’t wanna go to but at least i can perfectly fit my sword in my dress

officiant: if anyone here has a reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony–

me:

#septinbooks17 . 11- Happy #mapmonday . I’m over half way through this book now and I’m really enjoying it! I think the reason it’s taking me so long is because i don’t want it to end 😅 . #map #books #bookstagram #bookphoto #bookworm #bookhoarder #towerofdawn #chaolwestfall #sarahjmaas

honestly some of y’all want a significant other so badly and can’t understand why you can’t find one, but have no sense of boundaries or healthy expectations of what a relationship is like. in a committed long-term partnership you get left on read, you wait for texts back, and you can forget about each other when you’re busy. sometimes you fall asleep without saying goodnight and sometimes you’re too caught up to text each other before 6pm. that’s how it is. thinking that you can’t be deeply, beautifully in love and still wait more than “1.75 hours” for a text back is such an unhealthy and unreasonable expectation of what love is, and you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you can’t allow the other person to exist on their own apart from you. if you’re projecting your anxieties and insecurities onto a partner who doesn’t even exist yet, then you aren’t ready for one.

″It will never rain roses: when we want to have more roses, we must plant more roses.“

- George Eliot

Tragically, I did not die in my sleep last night

Gal Gadot as Diana Prince / Wonder Woman in Wonder Woman (2017) dir. Patty Jenkins

Photo by John-Mark Kuznietsov on Unsplash