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Probably should be doing something else

@ashalyas / ashalyas.tumblr.com

Hey, I'm Tasha, I'm 17, British, and probably currently dying over anime ships. Come talk to me!
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how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”

#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)

Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.

Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON

I already queued this but also, you do this, but still have Ginny become a famous Quidditch player. Imagine the first time Harry gets called “Ginny’s husband” before “the boy who lived” or “the chosen one.” Imagine how fucking pleased he’d be.

Imagine the first time a student comes up to him looking starry-eyed and Harry’s thinking “Oh no” because he doesn’t want to talk about Voldemort or the war but instead this little eleven year old is like “ARE YOU REALLY MARRIED TO WEASLEY FROM THE HOLLYHEAD HARPIES???!?? WHAT’S SHE LIKE?” and he’s like “oh thank god” because he could talk about Ginny all day. 

Yes. Good.

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jukeboxemcsa

Actually, all three of them should have become professors. Hermione would have become Headmistress, of course–youngest Headmistress of Hogwarts ever, and the only one willing to turn the portraits of her predecessors to the wall if they gave her too much lip about her efforts to modernize the curriculum. (She probably started as Transfiguration professor after McGonagall became Headmistress, but it wouldn’t surprise me if McGonagall was grooming her for the Headmistress job all along.)

And Ron took over as flying instructor for Professor Hooch; everyone thinks he’s an easy A because he’s so mellow and silly and hands out candy for good performances and his brother and sister sometimes visit the class to show off some of their old Quidditch moves and give away Wizard Wheezes to the best fliers, and it’s not until they talk to someone else from a different school or era that they realize that flying is actually really difficult to learn and Ron just found ways to slip all the teaching in under the fun so that they didn’t even notice. Things that seemed like silly tricks or goofy jokes turned out to be mnemonics for complex maneuvers, and of course nobody ever wanted to skip a class under his tutelage.

thisTHIS

Okay all other canon epilogues can go home, this is the best.

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reblogged

Crack AU where Anakin can all of a sudden hear the background music that we all hear. Those pleasant chats with Palpy become a lot more ominous. Though Anakin admits that the fights have become a lot more epic. Thoughts?

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Hahahahaha. Love it!

And okay, my first though was “and the galaxy was saved because even Anakin Skywalker would struggle to keep trusting Palpatine with that music playing in the background”

Anakin think he’s gone COMPLETELY insane (maybe he’s finally been electrocuted too many times and its fried his brain). He doesn’t tell anyone though because he can still fight just fine just… everything is a lot more musical. He doesn’t want to be thought crazy and taken off the front lines.

Once he figures out what the various musical cues mean he actually finds them useful in figuring out how dangerous a situation is. Also battles are so much cooler now and boring landscapes are slightly less boring because at least now they have mood music. Yep, he can live with this.

(Although he is always confused why the ominousness that is The Imperial March starts playing at some of his decisions)

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angelqueen04

*cracks up*

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forcearama

Anakin: I’m so worried about something. I should probably keep my feelings to myself and attempt to solve my problems by working with Palpatine. He seems like he has my best interests at heart.

MusicDUN DUN DUN, DUN DA-DUN, DUN DA-DUN!

Anakin: [pauses] [looks around] Uh…OK. I mean, I’ll…go talk to Obi-Wan?

Music: [hopeful woodwind instruments]

Anakin: …and be open and honest about my life and what is bothering me, and try to work out a non-violent resolution to my problems?

Music: [Force Theme plays]

Anakin: [smiles] All right! Huh. This is helpful. 

Positive reinforcement at its finest. ;D

THE HINTS MENU. *dies* 

Maybe Obi-Wan hears the music, too, and then the day is saved. 

Obi-Wan: [walking away] Welp, guess it’s off to kill Grievous I’m sure Anakin will be fi – 

Music: [Duel of the Fates] 

Obi-Wan: OMG not this shit again [runs back down the hall towards Anakin]

Anakin: [running back towards Obi-Wan] Obi-Wan I just heard that Ominous Music again and also I secretly married Padme and she’s pregnant and I haven’t slept in 6 days and I keep thinking she’s going to die and I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT and if you leave I will 100% end up killing everyone and –

Obi-Wan: – oh my God! OK…it’s OK, I heard my own ominous music a second ago when I was getting ready to leave and so I won’t and we’ll fix th – 

Anakin: – I heard mine when I thought about maybe talking to the Chancellor instead of y–

Palpatine: [sidling up behind them smugly] Everything all right, gentlemen?

Music: [scary ass music from the opera scene] 

Anakin and Obi-Wan: AHHHH

I randomly thought of this post again today and it made me laugh 

For the record in that last line I always pictured them clinging to each other in fear like Shaggy and Scooby: 

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ACCURATE OH MY GOD

I would so read this.

Palpatine’s face is killing me. 

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When a character doesn’t realize they’ve been, like, shot or whatever and they hand brushes against their side and comes away wet with blood, and they’re just staring at it like wtf is this and then their knees just totally give out on them and they sink down, maybe gasping a little as the reality finally hits them. That’s good stuff.

I see that, and raise you a character who knows they’ve been shot, but waits until the rest of their crew is out of sight to put their hand against the slowly spreading stain of blood on their shirt, then trying to steady their breathing so they can follow without letting on how injured they are.

Okay but like the character who doesn’t realize they’ve been hurt trying to see if everyone else is okay only to slowly realize that everyone is looking at them with mounting horror. Then they touch their side to find it’s wet and oh no

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reblogged

SO WAIT ARE YOU TELLING ME

THAT THIS GUY

AND THIS GUY

ARE VOICED BY THE SAME PERSON

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bnhahaha

what the fuck

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deafmic

so are these two 

Can someone please Photoshop Victor’s heart mouth onto Aizawa’s face.

For science. 

OKAY SO I DECIDED TO BE THE PERSON WHO PHOTOSHOPS VICTOR’S HEART MOUTH ONTO AIZAWA AND I HAVE NEVER HAD SO MANY REGRETS IN MY LIFE LOOK AT WHAT I MADE?!?! I’m wheezing

There’s something about Yurio and Shigaraki Tomura you should know.

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lummophoenix

also uhhhh these boys

If Shinso reacted to not getting into the hero course the way Georgi reacted to getting dumped:

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I wish that ao3 had an option to filter warnings (and tbh certain authors) out like I will never ever want to read it and just seeing it puts me off so much that often I end up closing my browser because that content upsets me so much lmao

There is a way to do this but I can’t recall how to do it. it’s something you type into the box for “other filters” or something, I don’t remember. who knows?? It’s not a great option, and I don’t know if you can sort out authors that way, but it’s better than nothing if someone can reblog this with how to do it!

Alrighty friends! It takes some specificity, but you can do this. Let me show you how!

So I started with going to the Sherlock (TV) section of Ao3. On the right we find this lovely section! ((I know I’m going over things you already probably know, but I figure this post may go to new Ao3 users, so bear with me.))

Underneath this, I chose sort by Kudos, because that’s a quick way to find most popular fics, for the sake of this demonstration. 

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With those filters on, we end up with this being our first two results: 

As you can see, we have Nature and Nurture by earlgreytea68, and The Internet Is Not Just For Porn by cyerus. So what if I am utterly sick of seeing earlgreytea68 on my list? Let’s pretend I’ve read all their fics, or that I just don’t like her, or whatever. I want this author out. I go to this section on the right: 

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In “Search within results” I type earlgreytea68 into the bar, with a minus sign in front. This gives me the following page, upon hitting the sort and filter button:

There goes earlgreytea68! But now I’ve decided that Crack is just not my thing, I’m sick of that, too, for heaven’s sake, I want something reasonable in my gay slash fanfiction about detectives that solve crimes about glowing dogs and irish megalomaniacs. Heaven forbid this get ridiculous.

Well, then I add this to my search:

Which gets rid of everything with that tag. My results are now:

Performance in a Leading Role is now my first result!

You can do this as many times as you want; the biggest problem I have is trying to filter out multi-worded tags. For example, “Secret Relationship” is hard to filter. Better to go with authors you dislike or with words like “DubCon”. 

I hope this helps! Also remember that googling site:archiveofourown.org and then adding search terms will mean google searches Ao3 for you, and sometimes that works far better. 

Good luck!

An excellent in-depth guide! Thank you!!

omg changed my whole ao3 rarepair game

An excellent guide to filtering on AO3!

You can filter out phrases by enclosing them in quotes. For example, if ABO and Hydra Trash Party are not your things, try:

-“alpha/beta/omega dynamics” -”hydra trash party”

I have more advice!

Say, you’re in your random fandom- I went with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, since I’ve been reading Iron Man stuff recently. Tony Stark is awesome.

But anyway, you’re on the page, and you see that there are 174,774 works! That is way too many for a casual afternoon’s browsing.

And you see that the first one is Peter Parker/Tony Stark and that is not your jam. It doesn’t work for you, or it squicks you, whatever. Wouldn’t life be easier if you could browse without seeing that pairing (or whatever pairing you don’t like)? You can!

First, click on that pairing tag(You may want to open this in another tab, actually.):

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and it’ll take you to the page for that pairing tag. Click this button:

and then look at the address bar! The actual page is unimportant. Copy the numbers located here:

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and go back to the original search page! Down on the side, in the same place you can get rid of other tags, type -relationship_ids:”the number you just copied”

Then hit ‘sort and filter’ annnd… magic!

The fics with that pairing are gone! You can also do multiple pairings, get rid of any tags you don’t like, and sort it by date or length or kudos, or whatever.

Enjoy.

I’d just like to add that these sorts of search modifiers ALSO WORK IN GOOGLE AND MOST RESEARCH DATABASES. The more you know.

good info for my sweet ygo family

Jolly good,it came back on my dash again

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For the record while ATLA is an excellent show and Zukos redemption arc was perfectly paced, I would kill to have had Zuko join the Gaang at the end of book two, because the first half of book three would have been the funniest thing on the planet. Like. Just picture it. A bunch of unsupervised teenagers travelling undercover through enemy territory, trying to blend in… and the only people who have even been there before are 1. A guy who hasnt been there in a century, and 2. The former crown prince who has literally never spoken to a fire nation citizen who wasnt nobility, military, or one of his servants.

Like. Neither of them have any idea what they’re doing, or how normal fire nation citizens act, but they’re pretty sure the other one is wrong. Rest of the gaang knows even less. No adults. Zuko and Aang getting into a shouting debate over the finer points of fire nation culture is a nightly event. They are both so wrong, and so, so awkward

Zuko, for the fifth and probably not last time: FOR THE LAST TIME, NOBODY USES THE PHRASE ‘FLAMEO HOTMAN’!

Aang, aware of that fact but in too deep to back out now: OH YEAH? THEN WHAT DO THEY SAY!?

Zuko, clueless and bluffing: …Something about glory to the Fire Lord?

Toph, well aware that both are lying through their teeth and have no idea what they’re talking about, and fucking loving every second of this train wreck: Clearly the only solution is for both of you to go into town tomorrow and test your theories out.

And the side taking, oh my god the side taking from the other three. Katara sides with Aang every single time. Does she honestly believe that the people of the Fire Nation greet each other with ‘Flame on, my em-brother’? Hell no. Would she rather die than say that Zuko’s correct? Yes.

Sokka usually sides with Zuko, unless he comes up with something astoundingly stupid. Zuko’s thoughts, while usually wrong, sound a lot more plausible then Aangs, and fuck it he’s willing to take a gamble.

Toph is the closest thing to a neutral party they have, in that she knows damn well they’re all full of shit, and has chosen to instead egg them on to make it worse. She’s an agent of chaos, and this is free nightly entertainment. She’s having the time of her life right now.

The debate takes a brief pause once they stop going undercover and get to the business of actually saving the world, but holy shit. once things have settled down? it’s back on with a vengeance. Except now Aang and Zuko aren’t the two most wanted people in the Fire Nation, they’re the two most influential people in the world. They are trendsetters. They can make slang become a thing.

When Zuko first hears the phrase ‘flameo, hotman’ being thrown around casually, it takes a lot of deep breathing exercises to not immediately return to his previous occupation of hunting the Avatar.

Iroh: I’m so proud of the way you’ve been ruling, nephew. Flameo, hotman!

Zuko, in tears: How could you say that

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reblogged

(KaiShin) Start Over Again (Translation)

(KaiShin) Start Over Again by shino (prism)

Hello, everyone! As promised, we have a new release to commemorate our beloved detective’s birthday! We hope you enjoy the cute story.

This release was possible thanks to Mod Evnos ( @impliedodds ), who kindly provided the super high quality scans, and to our collaborator The Devil Herself ( @fugaciousfella ) who, despite being quite busy these days, made the time for working her magic on our project so that it would look amazing!! Thank you both so much!

All that’s left to say is “Happy Birthday Dear Shinichi!!”  

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So, incidentally, my experience with the movie Megamind is that I ended up watching it backwards in a hotel once when I was younger and nothing else was on. And by “backwards” I mean, the first day I only caught the latter half of it and then it was on again the day after and I saw the first half.

That said, that one dang scene, is kind of an immortal one in my mind, because it’s one that has a lot more depth than it seems to.

The part that people often miss is that right after that pithy one-liner of how the difference between a villain and a supervillain is presentation… that whole conversation gets context.

Because Titan makes an immediate lunge for Megamind.

And immediately gets crunched by the giant head, and stuck in that situation because Megamind just drops out of the bottom, to a waiting vehicle, and maneuvers around him to focus on the actual issue: rescuing the hostage while Titan’s occupied.

That whole setup isn’t just, “watch me out-drama you”, it’s showing off an actual tactical asset.

Because Megamind as a character is someone who was always, always motivated by getting attention. The reason why Roxanne is never afraid of being his hostage isn’t because of her unshakable faith in a rescuing hero as much as it is that she knows, ultimately, what Megamind is doing is overwhelmingly a show. His atrocities are symbolic in nature. When he actually needs to take somebody out he dehydrates them into a cube for a while. And it’s not just Roxanne that calls him on this, either- Metro Man’s entire retirement scheme hinged on the idea that Megamind really didn’t need someone keeping him at bay from innocent civilians, because, as we’ve seen, innocent civilians really don’t have much to fear from him. Ultimately he is still, actually, just a kind of needy person desperately looking for validation and approval, neither of which can be provided by dead people.

But that’s not to say he can’t actually fight. Like any actual proper magician, he knows how to hold attention and an element of danger is how that works. He’s actually brilliant, and plenty capable of raising genuine hell.

However- he’s been doing this stageshow thing for ages. He’s mastered this. Titan may have him outgunned practically in every respect- but the guy has no conceivable head for subtlety.

So the real kicker to that whole setup, is this isn’t just Megamind being Megamind for the sake of drama- this is Megamind knowing exactly how easy Titan is to bait, dangling the largest trap he could possibly conceive in front of the guy, and doing it in an unapologetically glorious manner as any true performer would.

“Presentation” is not a superpower to be overlooked.

Realising Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb is like this really makes me wonder if there’s a name for these kinds of villains who aren’t really villains.

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revenblue

Yeah, I thought of Heinz too. How could I not?

I feel like they’re both in the same boat. Raised to think they were “bad” and “wrong” and “evil” for things they had no control over (Megamind growing up in a prison and being treated like he belonged there, Heinz’s parents being uniformly terrible all around), then once they were adults they decided you know what, I’m gonna be evil!!! Taking the label they’d been given and embracing it.

To quote another post, “People by and large live up to or down to the labels we are given.”

Neither of them felt like they had any option but to become Evil, but hoo boy were they going to put their heart and their natural talent for showmanship into performing evil. Because it’s all about the presentation.

And it worked. People saw them as evil, gave them the attention they so desperately craved, and even though it was all negative at least they’d earned the hatred this time.

I’m not sure there’s a name for this as a character archetype, alas, but it’s something that’s pretty relatable to a lot of peeps (as seen in that first link), and the fact that both Megamind and Heinz were redeemed at the end is important, it’s a sign that you are more than the labels people assign to you, that you can be better than that.

And hey, no reason you can’t put on a good show along the way~ ;)

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vegalocity

I’m gonna call them ‘Theater Evil’

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i really really mean it please write muslim characters, it’s really not that daunting literally all you have to do is throw in a few casual qualities.

have them squint uncertainly at the meat options in a restaurant and ask if there’s pork in the sandwich. have them mention on the phone “oh, i’m gonna stop by the mosque first for prayer but i’ll be there soon.” have your hijabi girls squeal over cute scarves in mall store windows and swoon over sparkly pins. have them kindly reject a glass of water and say “oh, i’m fasting today.”

just don’t make their religion their only defining aspect. like??

for most women, wearing hijab is about as casual as wearing a shirt or pants. give me a badass woman on a mission to save the world just like you’d write literally any other badass woman on a mission to save the world— this one just happens to keep her hair in a headscarf and is careful not to eat certain foods?

and not all muslim women wear scarves, a lot of them just choose not to or they decide not right now but they’ll do it later? like, give me a girl who’s absolutely determined to break a world record and halfway through the story she shows up in a headscarf for the first time and it’s no big deal

give me a kid who’s on the search for an ancient magical artifact and also they get anxious at some point cause they’re busy but prayer’s gonna start soon and they don’t wanna miss it. have them whip out their phone and search for the nearest mosque. have them find some quiet place to pray alone, like in the corner of a hotel room they just booked while their travel companion’s watching TV with the volume turned down low.

just?? do a bit of research (when are the prayer times, when is ramadan, what are halal foods, mosques in texas, etc.) and write!!! muslim!!! characters!!!

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karadin

there’s Qibla apps which will tell you which direction Mecca is in. A character can name their cat Saladin, after the famous sultan who was a sunni muslim, A character could be an astronomer, inspired by the famous astronomers of the 9th and 12th century, a character could have a poster in their room of  boxer and activist Muhammad Ali, or Shaquille O’Neil, or they could write a letter to Malala Yousef, and not all muslims are arabs, the largest population of Muslims in the world live in Indonesia, Pakistan and India!

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ironinkpen

forget slow burn romance, give me slow burn found family. give me enemies to friends to siblings. tired, weary old mentors learning to live again for their plucky young apprentices. heroes sharing apartments after world saving adventures because they’re so used to living with each other. dramatic “oh shit” moments where one gets kidnapped and the other realizes “god, that’s my kid.” i want to sit and watch in agony for thirty chapters while two idiots slowly adopt each other, someone get on it

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Women have more power and agency in Shakespeare’s comedies than in his tragedies, and usually there are more of them with more speaking time, so I’m pretty sure what Shakespeare’s saying is “men ruin everything” because everyone fucking dies when men are in charge but when women are in charge you get married and live happily ever after

I think you’re reading too far into things, kiddo. Take a break from your women’s studies major and get some fresh air.

Right. Well, I’m a historian, so allow me to elaborate.

One of the most important aspects of the Puritan/Protestant revolution (in the 1590’s in particular) was the foregrounding of marriage as the most appropriate way of life. It often comes as a surprise when people learn this, but Puritans took an absolutely positive view of sexuality within the context of marriage. Clergy were encouraged to lead by example and marry and have children, as opposed to Catholic clergy who prized virginity above all else. Through his comedies, Shakespeare was promoting this new way of life which had never been promoted before. The dogma, thanks to the church, had always been “durr hburr women are evil sex is bad celibacy is your ticket to salvation.” All that changed in Shakespeare’s time, and thanks to him we get a view of the world where marriage, women, and sexuality are in fact the key to salvation. 

The difference between the structure of a comedy and a tragedy is that the former is cyclical, and the latter a downward curve. Comedies weren’t stupid fun about the lighter side of life. The definition of a comedy was not a funny play. They were plays that began in turmoil and ended in reconciliation and renewal. They showed the audience the path to salvation, with the comic ending of a happy marriage leaving the promise of societal regeneration intact. Meanwhile, in the tragedies, there is no such promise of regeneration or salvation. The characters destroy themselves. The world in which they live is not sustainable. It leads to a dead end, with no promise of new life.

And so, in comedies, the women are the movers and shakers. They get things done. They move the machinery of the plot along. In tragedies, though women have an important part to play, they are often morally bankrupt as compared to the women of comedies, or if they are morally sound, they are disenfranchised and ignored, and refused the chance to contribute to the society in which they live. Let’s look at some examples.

In Romeo and Juliet, the play ends in tragedy because no-one listens to Juliet. Her father and Paris both insist they know what’s right for her, and they refuse to listen to her pleas for clemency. Juliet begs them – screams, cries, manipulates, tells them outright I cannot marry, just wait a week before you make me marry Paris, just a week, please and they ignore her, and force her into increasingly desperate straits, until at last the two young lovers kill themselves. The message? This violent, hate-filled patriarchal world is unsustainable. The promise of regeneration is cut down with the deaths of these children. Compare to Othello. This is the most horrifying and intimate tragedy of all, with the climax taking place in a bedroom as a husband smothers his young wife. The tragedy here could easily have been averted if Othello had listened to Desdemona and Emilia instead of Iago. The message? This society, built on racism and misogyny and martial, masculine honour, is unsustainable, and cannot regenerate itself. The very horror of it lies in the murder of two wives. 

How about Hamlet? Ophelia is a disempowered character, but if Hamlet had listened to her, and not mistreated her, and if her father hadn’t controlled every aspect of her life, then perhaps she wouldn’t have committed suicide. The final scene of carnage is prompted by Laertes and Hamlet furiously grappling over her corpse. When Ophelia dies, any chance of reconciliation dies with her. The world collapses in on itself. This society is unsustainable. King Lear – we all know that this is prompted by Cordelia’s silence, her unwillingness to bend the knee and flatter in the face of tyranny. It is Lear’s disproportionate response to this that sets off the tragedy, and we get a play that is about entropy, aging and the destruction of the social order.  

There are exceptions to the rule. I’m sure a lot of you are crying out “but Lady Macbeth!” and it’s a good point. However, in terms of raw power, neither Lady Macbeth nor the witches are as powerful as they appear. The only power they possess is the ability to influence Macbeth; but ultimately it is Macbeth’s own ambition that prompts him to murder Duncan, and it is he who escalates the situation while Lady Macbeth suffers a breakdown. In this case you have women who are allowed to influence the play, but do so for the worse; they fail to be the good moral compasses needed. Goneril, Regan and Gertrude are similarly comparable; they possess a measure of power, but do not use it for good, and again society cannot renew itself.

Now we come to the comedies, where women do have the most control over the plot. The most powerful example is Rosalind in As You Like It. She pulls the strings in every avenue of the plot, and it is thanks to her control that reconciliation is achieved at the end, and all end up happily married. Much Ado About Nothing pivots around a woman’s anger over the abuse of her innocent cousin. If the men were left in charge in this play, no-one would be married at the end, and it would certainly end in tragedy. But Beatrice stands up and rails against men for their cruel conduct towards women and says that famous, spine-tingling line - oh God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the marketplace. And Benedick, her suitor, listens to her. He realises that his misogynistic view of the world is wrong and he takes steps to change it. He challenges his male friends for their conduct, parts company with the prince, and by doing this he wins his lady’s hand. The entire happy ending is dependent on the men realising that they must trust, love and respect women. Now it is a society that is worthy of being perpetuated. Regeneration and salvation lies in equality between the sexes and the love husbands and wives cherish for each other. The Merry Wives of Windsor - here we have men learning to trust and respect their wives, Flastaff learning his lesson for trying to seduce married women, and a daughter tricking everyone so she can marry the man she truly loves. A Midsummer Night’s Dream? The turmoil begins because three men are trying to force Hermia to marry someone she does not love, and Helena has been cruelly mistreated. At the end, happiness and harmony comes when the women are allowed to marry the men of their choosing, and it is these marriages that are blessed by the fairies.

What of the romances? In The Tempest, Prospero holds the power, but it is Miranda who is the key to salvation and a happy ending. Without his daughter, it is likely Prospero would have turned into a murderous revenger. The Winter’s Tale sees Leontes destroy himself through his own jealousy. The king becomes a vicious tyrant because he is cruel to his own wife and children, and this breach of faith in suspecting his wife of adultery almost brings ruin to his entire kingdom. Only by obeying the sensible Emilia does Leontes have a chance of achieving redemption, and the pure trust and love that exists between Perdita and Florizel redeems the mistakes of the old generation and leads to a happy ending. Cymbeline? Imogen is wronged, and it is through her love and forgiveness that redemption is achieved at the end. In all of these plays, without the influence of the women there is no happy ending.

The message is clear. Without a woman’s consent and co-operation in living together and bringing up a family, there is turmoil. Equality between the sexes and trust between husbands and wives alone will bring happiness and harmony, not only to the family unit, but to society as a whole. The Taming of the Shrew rears its ugly head as a counter-example, for here a happy ending is dependent on a woman’s absolute subservience and obedience even in the face of abuse. But this is one of Shakespeare’s early plays (and a rip-off of an older comedy called The Taming of a Shrew) and it is interesting to look at how the reception of this play changed as values evolved in this society. 

As early as 1611 The Shrew was adapted by the writer John Fletcher in a play called The Woman’s Prize, or The Tamer Tamed. It is both a sequel and an imitation, and it chronicles Petruchio’s search for a second wife after his disastrous marriage with Katherine (whose taming had been temporary) ended with her death. In Fletcher’s version, the men are outfoxed by the women and Petruchio is ‘tamed’ by his new wife. It ends with a rather uplifting epilogue that claims the play aimed:

To teach both sexes due equality
And as they stand bound, to love mutually.

The Taming of the Shrew and The Tamer Tamed were staged back to back in 1633, and it was recorded that although Shakespeare’s Shrew was “liked”, Fletcher’s Tamer Tamed was “very well liked.” You heard it here folks; as early as 1633 audiences found Shakespeare’s message of total female submission uncomfortable, and they preferred John Fletcher’s interpretation and his message of equality between the sexes.

So yes. The message we can take away from Shakespeare is that a world in which women are powerless and cannot or do not contribute positively to society and family is unsustainable. Men, given the power and left to their own devices, will destroy themselves. But if men and women can work together and live in harmony, then the whole community has a chance at salvation, renewal and happiness.  

In the immortal words of the bard himself: fucking annihilated.

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skyelle0

instead of reporting the murder, i would like to help you bury thE BODY CAUSE DAAMN

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