humans forever will love funny little horses. love and peace and ponies runs in our blood

It amazes me how many teslas I see out and about. Like you guys bought one for real? On god? No joke?????

hand hurts from jacking off

inside thought!! inside thought!!

outside thought!!!!! outside thought!!!!! my hand is sore from jerking that thang asunder!!!!!!!!

is that simple task bothering you queen

Cunty little thing isnt it

"if you see someone shoplifting, no you didn't" no but like. i really didn't. i have never in my life seen someone shoplifting because i'm not watching anyone else in the grocery store..? how are y'all noticing things like that. my only goals are enter the store, survive, exit the store

“Temporary stitches” all stitches are temporary if you have a pair of scissors and aren’t a coward

Every time

when you drink all the wine in the house and then you have. :( no wine in the house

me when i excuse myself during a dinner party to sneak outside and milk more cabernet sauvignon from the Creature

had food poisoning when i posted this

Well if you'd pasteurized the Cabernet Sauvignon you milked from the creature maybe you wouldn't have gotten food poisoning from it.

oh suddenly everyone's an expert on the Creature i milk

leaked audio from the long-lost holiday classic, Holy Fuck It’s The Gunch

looks like it’s that time of year again folks

my favorite thing about the mystery genre is that we all accept the concept of "world famous detective" without hesitation even though that is absolutely not a real category of celebrity

makes you imagine the sound of a bowling ball striking pins

I just heard a sad little huff so I peered over my tablet and

He Is