Message from Tai's Family
Please note that this post does mention suicide, depression, and chronic pain.
Tai took their own life on November 9th, 2017 at the age of 21. We wanted to share with their friends their obituary below, both to remember Tai, and to ask that if you are struggling with anything, please reach out, and please get help.
Tai left us far too early. Born June 23rd, 1996, in Peekskill, New York, Tai was an artist, free spirit, explorer and rebel who defied category, exploring and rejecting conventions of gender, of privilege, and even of species. Tai worked hard to make sense of the world as they found their place in it, at times awed by its beauty, and often frustrated by its dichotomies. More than anything, Tai was a loving and caring friend, child and sibling, who tolerated no nonsense, other than that inspired by a keen sense of humor.
Tai revered the natural world and found comfort in it, beginning with the woods of Westchester County, the banks of the Hudson River, and the shores of Long Island. Love of nature and commitment to other species defined Tai from their early years: At the age of ten they became a vegetarian, explaining to family that Tai couldn’t eat their friends.
Art was a central theme of Tai’s life, and we are left with many, yet still too few, drawings, sketches and fabrications. At age 18, Tai debuted their work “Mess – Self-Portraits and Assorted Art Shit” at MadeLife in Boulder Colorado. Of Tai, a friend once wrote, “Endlessly creative... Drawing, always drawing, while exploring the light and dark nooks and crannies of [their] internal landscape.”
Tai believed passionately in social justice. In the fall of 2016 they joined water protectors camped at Oceti Sakowin, in Cannonball, North Dakota, commonly known as Standing Rock, in defense of both the planet and the rights of Indigenous people. They are fondly remembered by friends they made there, who admired their fire making skills, and traditional blessings are being offered.
Tai, who suffered from fibromyalgia, is widely credited as inspiring the #cripplepunk or #C-Punk movement on Tumblr, which rejects “pity, inspiration porn, & all other forms of ableism… [and] fights internalized ableism & fully supports those struggling with it.“.
There are so many words to describe Tai; complicated, astute, inquisitive, funny, goofy, challenging, wild, spooky, hard-assed, uncompromising, kind, loving... The first word that comes to each of us will be different, yet still fit perfectly. That is why there are so few words to describe our loss.
The cause of their death, a suicide, is inseparable from the post-traumatic stress and eating disorder with which they struggled for many years. Please, if your are considering self harm, call 911 or contact the National Suicide Prevention hotline, 1-800-273-8255 (US). In Canada resources are available at https://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/
If interested, donations are being accepted in Tai’s name by The LOFT: LGBT Community Services Center 252 Bryant Avenue, White Plains, NY 10605. Please do not feel it is necessary.
If anyone would like to reach out to us you can reach Tai's father, Tim at trewintent@yahoo.com or Tai's sister, Cat at catrewhella@gmail.com.
Despite the pain and loss, we must find a way to celebrate Tai, ourselves, and each other in a way that Tai would. To do that in their memory because they weren't able to do if for their self. And again, if you are hurting, or struggling, in any way - please reach out for help.
18002738255 US & suicideprevention.ca/need-help/
