When you watch a one year old (or younger) eat a banana

I already hated bananas but having small children really ruined them for me

but do you ever find yourself talking to someone and looking into their eyes and then realizing that you can’t actually look into both of their eyes but only one at a time and you just end up focusing all your attention on whether or not you’re staring too intently into their one eye and feel the need to switch to their other eye without making it seem to obvious that you’re switching eyes because i hate that

what do you do at hogwarts if you start your period? 

like do you go and see madam promfrey? or your head of year? because i’m just trying to imagine the slytherin girls going snape and asking for tampons

I do not have the power within me to not reblog this. 

Christ almighty

wise words, tub baracuda, wise words.

TINY RAPTOR FLUFF

It’s like a furry dinosaur

igaveyoulifeyougaveminereason

what if you tried to call off of work and you are just like “im sick today” and your boss was like “i know dude you’re one of the sickest bros here” and you were like “no i mean it im ill” and your boss says “yeah you the illest” 

thank u free country usa god bless

WHAT HAPPENED OF SAL’S CASE

igaveyoulifeyougaveminereason

(via rebelteen101)

One Day a Woman had 100 children.

She sadly did not have the creativity to name all of them unique names so she named each one a number from 1-100. One of them was named “one”, the next was “two” and so on all the way to one hundred. But, in a tragic accident, 99 of the children died. The only one who survived was the one named “Ninety”. Ninety eventually grew up and lived a whole life and she even had a few children of her own. One day, while Ninety’s children were playing outside, they stumbled upon a stray dog and the decided to keep it. Ninety did not want the children to have a dog so they hid it and named it “This” so that they could talk about it around their mom without her knowing. They would say “Lets go take This outside.” and things like that behind their mom’s back. One day, while Ninety’s children were not paying attention, This walks out into the middle of the street and gets hit by a car. This eventually dies and Ninety’s kids don’t tell their mother even then. No one else ever hears about This ever again.

Only Ninety’s Kids remember This.

OMG

How dare you make me read this with my own two eyes

The Secret Garden (1993)