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What's Your Pleasure...?

@thefaeriecourtesan / thefaeriecourtesan.tumblr.com

Greetings. My name is Ma'atieu Cris'ta'tuus (or, for unsure mortal tongues, Matthew Christatus) My business...is your pleasure. -grins- [OC character - Wyld Fae, courtesan and (for those who know) dealer in information. Muse and Mun both over 18]
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Lessons for Mortals Who Seek to Survive the Fae

  1. some of these lessons you can be taught. others you will learn only through the cost of them.
  2. beauty and ugliness are most often the same thing. it’s just whether you get the flat of the blade or the brutal edge. neither can be trusted to neither hurt nor help you.
  3. their kindness is not your kindness, their happiness is not your happiness, their loyalty is not your loyalty. their love is not your love.
  4. “the fae cannot lie” is the biggest lie of all. the fae cannot speak direct untruth. in so many other ways they lie and lie and lie. it’s possible that “the fae cannot lie” is the cleverest lie they ever told.
  5. be very careful who and what you bleed on, or for.
  6. what you see is almost never what you get. use the corners of your eyes, the reflection in the water, the smell and sound and touch of your skin. above all, use your caution, and at great need, your pain.
  7. all rules will inevitably be broken. words like “can” and “can’t”, “possible” and “impossible” should not be relied on too completely. every rule will always find its loopholes and exceptions. yes, even these.
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katiewrites

Drabble Challenge: 1-150

Rules: Followers send a number to your ask and you write a drabble using that sentence/prompt in your piece. Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!

  1. “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”
  2. “How long have you been standing there?”
  3. “I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid.”
  4. “Who gave you that black eye?”
  5. “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”
  6. “I just like proving you wrong.”
  7. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
  8. “Forget it. You fucking suck.”
  9. “Quit it or I’ll bite.”
  10. “If you use up all the hot water again, I swear to god! You’re on the couch for a month!!”
  11. “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”
  12. “I’m pregnant.”
  13. “Looks like we’re gonna be stuck here for a while.”
  14. “Take. It. Off.”
  15. “Well, you’re coming home with me whether you like it or not.”
  16. “I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.”
  17. “Stop it! It tickles!”
  18. “It’s okay to cry…”
  19. “And that’s how you ruin a life. Congratulations.”
  20. “D..did you just make that noise?”
  21. “He’s a bad kisser.”
  22. “You can scream if you want.”
  23. “I didn’t know we were keeping track.”
  24. “We’re playing checkers. If you don’t like it, leave.”
  25. “One of them’s missing.”
  26. “Save some for me.”
  27. “Oh, fuck off.”
  28. “You’re still mad?”
  29. “Come over here and make me.”
  30. “You better watch yourself.”
  31. “Eat your lunch and you wouldn’t be hungry.”
  32. “Why did we have to have kids?”
  33. “Call on Line 1”
  34. “He creeped me out. I’m not gonna lie.”
  35. “I’m done! You can fix it!”
  36. “Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?”
  37. “Where did he go?”
  38. “You leave whenever you feel like it.”
  39. “I forgot I was a single parent.”
  40. “Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”
  41. “You’re going out dressed like that?”
  42. “For the hundredth time, I’m not your babysitter.”  
  43. “Frost the damn cupcakes.”
  44. “Well that’s the second biggest news I’ve heard all day.”
  45. “You look pretty hot in plaid.”  
  46. “I thought you were dead!”
  47. “I thought it was a one-night-stand…and now we’re married…”
  48. “We’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about.”
  49. “Quit touching me. Your feet are cold.”
  50. “You know you want it, sweetheart.”
  51. “I’m your husband. It’s my job.”  
  52. “You just wanted them because the light up.”
  53. “That wasn’t very subtle.”
  54. “He thinks he’s a mind reader.”  
  55. “It’s just you and me tonight. I was thinking we could have a little fun.”
  56. “I don’t do hugs.”
  57. “Don’t talk anymore.”
  58. “I’m just a guy with a wife, two kids, and a Harley.”
  59. “How do I even put up with you?”
  60. “I said get rid of it.”
  61. “They didn’t just find out. They already knew!”
  62. “You’re not as quiet as you think you are.”
  63. “Can you just man up and change his diaper?”
  64. “Just don’t buy a goat. I don’t care what you do, just no goats.”
  65. “I have a secret.”
  66. “I won’t let you get hurt.”
  67. “You’re strong, baby. You have to be.”
  68. “He’s four years old!!”
  69. “I’ve had enough! I want to be alone!”
  70. “I can’t stand seeing you like this.”
  71. “Me and the boys will handle it.”
  72. “You’re competitive and so am I, and it’s going to lead to a fight.”
  73. “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”
  74. “You’re a dork, just like your father.”
  75. “Mind if I join you?”
  76. “Daddy!”
  77. “I lost our child.”
  78. “That’s my shirt. So is that..wait?”
  79. “My name isn’t Leslie…who’s Leslie?”
  80. “There’s a surprise upstairs for you.”
  81. “I’ll take care of it.”
  82. “I’m not your boss? Well then who is?”
  83. “You can’t eat solids, only liquids until Thursday.”
  84. “Come on, baby, up to bed.”
  85. “They got you a present. Isn’t it sweet?”
  86. “Am I scaring you?”
  87. “Run! You said you’d work out with me!”
  88. “After everything…I’d still choose you.”
  89. “And when did you plan on telling me about this?”
  90. “Trust me.”
  91. “Scoot over a little bit, please.”
  92. “You’re so clingy, I love it.”
  93. “You didn’t just wake me up at 2am because you were ‘in the mood’.”
  94. “Did they hurt you?”
  95. “You’re cute when you’re all worried.”
  96. “Stop being grumpy. It’s lame.”
  97. “I don’t need a hero, I need a husband.”
  98. “Don’t shut me out.”
  99. “You got a cute butt.”
  100. “I just got out of the shower, I can’t dance. What if my towel falls off?”
  101. “Don’t be an asshole. Asshole.”
  102. “Do you really think I could ever replace you?”
  103. “Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.”
  104. “…or we can chill in our underwear.”
  105. “You can’t make up for it by giving me a tic-tac.”
  106. “Keep pedaling and don’t stop, okay?”
  107. “You, me, popcorn, two liter Dr. Pepper, and a movie. You in?”
  108. “Have you seen my contacts?”
  109. “Life is a highway, and I’m always drunk. So I’m not driving.”
  110. “Quit stalling. Where’s your father?”
  111. “You can’t just hug me and think everything’s okay.”
  112. “Is he coming home?”
  113. “I prefer blondes.”
  114. “No more dogs. How hard it it to understand?”
  115. “I let you win.”
  116. “I broke your nose, and I’m sorry for that. But what you’re doing isn’t fair.”
  117. “Can I do your hair?”
  118. “Your favorite superhero can’t be a villain.”
  119. “I told you not to jump on the bed!”
  120. “He’s pampering me, let him be.”
  121. “Ready or not, here I come.”
  122. “I’m worried about losing my job!”
  123. “Oh, did I scare you, big boy?”
  124. “Happy new year!”
  125. “Quit moving, I’m trying to sleep. Wait…are you…what?!”
  126. “You nap, I’ll stay awake.”
  127. “It’s turbulence. It’s normal.”
  128. “Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.”
  129. “I’ll give you a massage.”
  130. “You fell asleep in the tub?!”
  131. “Are you doodling?”
  132. “We’re not playing strip poker. I don’t care what I said when I was drunk.”
  133. “Slushies aren’t just for kids, fuck society.”
  134. “Are you scared…Then why won’t you look at the screen?”
  135. “Enough with the pillow talk, I’m tired.”
  136. “You had a nightmare, tell me what it was about so I can fix it.”
  137. “We need groceries, not just junk food. You’re worse than the kids.”
  138. “Is this our closet? Or your closet?”
  139. “If I win, you do dishes for a week.”
  140. “Fist bumps are cooler than high-fives…”
  141. “Use your words.”
  142. “Hold my hand so he gets jealous.”
  143. “Ew, your hand is sweaty.”
  144. “Get out of my face before I hit you.”
  145. “I don’t care if your 4 or 40, you don’t hit people.”
  146. “You only care about football, beer, and raking leaves.”
  147. “Look! Fireflies!”
  148. “Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”
  149. “I just need ten minutes.”
  150. *Make Your Own*

Happy Writing! Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!

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If I come back, I’m looking at either Ma’at or Mab or Mouse.

Anyone wanna chime in with good reasons for any one in particular? xD

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charity-able WE MISS YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU 

maclordy Ditto! But you know my feelings.

Awwww, sweethearts. x3 *hugs you both*

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I may have lied in the tags in that last post.

I am actually considering trying to come back.

I miss writing, and I miss all of y’all. >.>

I’m pondering whether it’s a wise idea right now and, if I did, who I would bring back to life.

Most likely either Ma’at or Mab, but not both.

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tagged by: sorta @shadowshaveoffended

tagging: *shrugs*

APHRODITE:     laughter-loving,     sweet  smiles,     dressed  in  silk  and  satin,    flower  in  their  hair,     sees  the  world  as  a  runway,    unapologetically  sexual,     the  sea  washing  their  ankles,      in  love  with  love,     stirrer  of  passion,     cunning  concealed  by  painted  lips,     secret  daggers,   doves,   revolution  in  their  kiss,     delighting  in  the  waves,   flirtatious  winks,    strolling  along  the  beach,      staring  wistfully  from  a  balcony,     this  is  how  to  be  a  heartbreaker,     wants  to  be  adored,     gets  turned  on  by  danger.

APOLLO:       glitz  and  glamour,     art  galleries,     turning  the  volume  up,      being  made  of  gold,     neatly-organized  music  sheets,      notebooks  filled  with  poetry,    bathing  in  the  sunlight,   the  powerful  urge  to  create,    collecting  vinyl  records,    beautiful  cover  of  Wonderwall,     playing  multiple  instruments,    tasting  like  sunshine,   healing  touch,    speaking  in  prophecies,   smile  mingled  with  wrath,   shunning  lies,     sporting  shades,     hanging  out  at  music  festivals  with  their  friends,     sleeps  naked,    arrow  to  the  heart,     paint  brushes,     probably  has  a  Tinder  account.

ARES:     armed  for  battle,    wants  to  raise  a  dog  with  their  significant  other,     soft  spot  for  children,      gives  piggyback  rides,    scarred  body,     blood  on  their   hands  and  face,     willing  to  fight  the  world  for  the  ones  they  love,     fights  against  injustice,     warm  hugs,      well-worn  combat  boots,     boxing gloves,    bandages  wrapped  around  bruised knuckles,      fist  raised  in  protest,     ignites  revolutions,    fear  is  a  prison,     more  sensitive  than  what  their  tough  shell   would  have  you  think,      exhausted,      damaged  goods,     force  to  be  reckoned  with,     red  roses,   curses  under  their  breath.

ARTEMIS:     keen  sense  of  a  hunter,      freckles  like  constellations  on  their  skin,     piercing  eyes,   disheveled  braid,     moonlight  peeking  through  the  shadows,       the  calm  of  the  forest  at  night,   lying  on  the  grass  and staring  at  the  stars,     mother  doe  and  her  fawn,    protecting  their  kin,   the  moon  shimmering  on  a  still  lake,      quiver  full  of  arrows  resting  against  the  bark  of  a  tree,    running  with  wolves,    bonding  while  circled  around  a  campfire,     not  being  much  of  a  people  person,   arrow  hitting  a  target,      popping  egos,      patience  on  3%,    touches  heaven  and  returns  howling.

ATHENA:      discerning  gaze,     unreadable  face,      quiet  museums,    owl  perched  on  their  finger,    armor  that  intimidates,     eye  for  architecture,     plays  the  sims  for  the  sole  purpose of  building   houses,   studied  the  blade  while  everyone  else  was  busy  getting  laid,     big  fan  of  logic,   loves  brain  teasers,  ancient  buildings,    sweaters  in  neutrals  and  cool  colors,     hair  done  up,   can  kill  you  with  their  brain,   heads  to  the  library  often  to  research,     sharpened  pencils,     abs  that  can  cut  steel,    stoic  statues,     pottery classes.

DEMETER:      soil-covered  hands,    smile  that  can  bloom  flowers,     skin  loved  by  the sun,     being  the  mom-friend,    can  lift  you  and  your  friends,  flowers  kept  in  the  pockets  of  overalls,     takes  pride  in their  beautiful  garden,     speaks  to  their  plants,    leaves rustling  in  the  wind,     stalks  of  wheat,   picking  fruit,    greenhouses,    heart  as  strong  as  a  mountain,    values simplicity,    daisies  dotted  across  a  collarbone,     curls crowned  with  flowers,     folded  pile  of  sweaters  in  warm hues,     pulling  out  fresh-baked  bread  out  of  the  oven  and the smell  wafting  through  the  air.

DIONYSUS:  drunk  shitposter,     on  their  sixth  glass  of  wine  before  you’ve  even  finished your  second,     seductive  smirks,     untamed curls,       rich  fabrics  on  dark  skin,      sleek-furred  panthers,     theater  masks,    stage  productions,   receiving  a  standing  ovation,     rose  caught  between  their  teeth,      being  the  baby  of  the bunch,    wild  parties  that  last  from  sundown  to  sunup,     creeping  vines,     inspiring  loyalty,   grand  opera  houses,   masquerade  balls,   rolls  of  film,    shattered  chandeliers  with  broken glass  scattered  across  the  wine-spilled  floor,    pouring  champagne  into  flutes,     lives  for  the   applause.

HEPHAESTUS:     the  calloused  hands  of  someone  who  knows  labor,      sweaty  brow,   flame  burning  in  their  eyes,   inventive  mind, broad  shoulders,   steampunk  goggles,   nuts  and  bolts stored  away  in  little  boxes,   ashes,    striking  a  match,   blueprints  for  future  projects,    fixing  up  a  busted  up  car and  giving  it  cool  upgrades,     wrestles  with  bitterness,   work  boots  have  seen  better  years,    wrinkled  plaid  shirts,   iron  melted  in  blazing  fire,     huge  jackets,   crafting masterpieces,     greased-stained  overalls,     fascination  with robotics,     pain  is  fuel,    stack  of  weaponry,   even  their  muscles  have  muscles.

HERA:       resting  bitch  face,   dressed  to  the  nines,  cows  grazing  on  a  pasture,    cool  rain,   loving  and  hating  fiercely,    hand  clutching  a  string  of pearls,     large  chandelier  with  glittering  crystals,     plays  the  sims  for  the  sole  purpose  of  killing  off  their  sims,    romance  to  realism,     pictures  of  the  sky  while  flying  on  a  plane,   files  that  under  fuck  it,    downs  glasses  of  wine  as  they  relax  with  a  scented  bubble  bath  and  netflix,    like  their  selfie  or  you’re  grounded,    knows  57  convenient  ways  to  murder  a  man,     dark  eyes  that  penetrate  your  soul,     marble  and  gold.

HERMES:     devil-may-care  smile,  always  up-to-date  on  the  latest  technology,    will  steal your french  fries,    does  it  for  the vine,     shitposter,     puts googly  eyes  on  everything,     meme  hoarder, long  drives on  the  highway,    ma  and  pop  diners,    spontaneous road trips,     folded  maps,   fingers  dancing  across  the keyboard  of  a laptop,      shooting  hoops  on  the  basketball court,    chatting  up  strangers  as  you  all  journey  to  your  own  destinations, goes  jogging  in  the  morning,      mixes  redbull  with  coffee,    menace  on  april fool’s,  hoodies  and  sneakers.    

POSEIDON:      storm  with  skin,     colorful  coral  reefs,     waves  crashing  against  the  shore,     stroking  the  soft  fur  of  a cat,   their  heart  pounding  as  their  horse’s  gentle  trot  speeds  into  a  gallop, tousled  locks, clothes  smeared  with  paint,     owns  several  sketchbooks  yet  always  yearns  to  own more,   leather  jackets,     fondness  for  diy  projects, handwriting  that  flows  across  the  page,   nimble  fingers  playing  the  strings  of  a  violin,  velvety singing  voice  that  haunts  your  dreams,     mood  as  ever-changing  as  the  sea,    the  roar  of  a  motorcycle,     compass  with  a  spinning arrow.

ZEUS:     thunder  in  their  heart,     running  on  coffee,     flash  of  lightning, natural  charisma,  eloquence,   badass  in  a  nice  suit,    aficionado  of  history,   force of nature,    lenny  face,   nightmare-filled  nights,     proud  arm  around  their  lover’s  waist,   high-rise  buildings,   planes  soaring  through  a  cloudless  sky,      technician  on  the  piano,  maintains  order,    strong  handshake,    juggling  multiple  events on  their  busy  schedule  with  ease,    expensive watch.

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dicebound

D&D 5e Character Creation Flow Charts: Backgrounds and Classes This only includes the backgrounds included in the Player’s Handbook Mind you, so no SCAG options. Class one doesn’t assume archetype obviously.  A fun little project I made after work today, I thought it might be helpful for players newer to the system in choosing their character’s options, or just a fun little tool.

This is neat

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mylae-the-dm

i was literally searching for something like this a couple of days ago. i WILL be using this when i have newbies to run through a game!

It’s really fun to run your rp character through the chart and see what you get.

Ma’at is a noble sorceror. xD

(It is also awesome for dnd purposes, I’ma keep this saved. xD)

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litefoot13

Song Ask Meme

@candiceirae: I’m blaming @l-space for this one.

Just giving the title of the song is a no-go. You have to explain why you picked that song, or you’ll make the kitties sad. Think of the kitties.  

Character Song Questions

1.       If this isn’t a character blog, what is your character’s name/very brief bio?

Ma’atieu Io Cris’ta’tuus, most sought after courtesan of the Faerie Court, wyldfae and avian shapeshifter. He has his very own blog.

2.       A song that reminds you of the character.

Roxanne, from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. It’s always been one I’ve associated with him, from the beginning. Considering his…occupation, it’s not a huge leap why, either. :3

3.       A song that the character might enjoy.

The Greatest Showman soundtrack. It’s cheerful, it’s catchy, he knows ALL about being someone on show and acting a part.

4.       Is there a genre of music that the character prefers, or that is symbolically significant for the character?

People assume he listens to really cultured music, things like classical or light jazz or Japanese shamisen or such.

At home he cranks up the poppiest pop music that ever popped and sings along to it, loudly and badly.

5.       The character is a boss in a video game. What’s their battle music?

Oh geez, I dunno. I kinda want to repeat myself and say Roxanne, just instrumental only? 

6.       What song from a Disney movie or musical best represents the characters, and why?

The Tiki Tiki Room.

No, just kidding.

Um…

I’m having a serious mind blank.

Perfect Isn’t Easy? From Oliver and Company?

No clue, honestly.

Tagging: Dunno. Too lazy.

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If you were a character in Greek mythology, odds are Homer called you “lion-hearted Achilles” or “Ares, sacker of cities” or “Hector, breaker of horses” at least once every three sentences. And if you are not a character in Greek mythology, now you can find out what he WOULD have called you, had you possessed the good sense to be ancient, Greek, and fictional.

Tagged by: @ladywiththecoldeyes Tagging: *shrugs*

Repost; don’t reblog

You got Bright-eyed

You are bright-eyed [your name]. Homer also used this epithet to describe Athena, the goddess of things like wisdom, diplomacy, war, and arts and crafts. Athena was the patron of Odysseus and helped him out of some tough spots, except for those times she just didn’t feel like it for some reason or another.

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litefoot13

Character Building Questions

(Tagged by @candiceirae :P

I’ll do Ma’atieu Io Cris’ta’tuus - faerie courtesan of the HIGHEST degree, sought after by all who see him, secretly spymaster for the faerie royal court, avian shapeshifter.

And also a very humble person, of course.)

1. Media

Books or Movies?

Books if he’s by himself, movies if he’s with friends or lovers because it’s a good reason to snuggle with people.

Comedy or Action?

Comedy. Ma’at tends to pass out if he sees blood, even if he knows it’s fake.

Romance or Horror?

Oh, definitely romance. The cheesier the better.

Adventure or Drama?

Drama. Definitely drama. It makes him giggle.

Historical or Musicals?

Musicals, but don’t watch them with him! His singing makes dying cats sound like masterful opera singers.

Sci-fi or Westerns?

…eh. Sci-fi, he guesses…

Monopoly or Sorry?

Sorry. Monopoly is SO boring, and Sorry can be so utterly and viciously satisfying.

Comic Books or Novels?

Novels.

Hip-Hop or Classical Music?

Classical music is more common when he’s working, but if he’s by himself, he’s not about to listen to it. Again, ‘ware of his singing. x3

2. Food

Tea or Coffee?

Both. And in fancy setting with all kinds of cakes and sandwiches.

Cake or Pie?

Pie. Just not the kind with 30 birds baked into it. ;)

Fruit or Vegetables?

Plain, non cooked? Fruits. But he can do miraculous things with both of them in the kitchen.

Sweet or Spicy?

Definitely sweet. He leaves the spicy for Gale.

Cereal or Oatmeal?

Neither. Definitely waffles for breakfast. Or french toast. Something more elaborate. But not until like noon, because mornings should not exist.

Bagels or Cookies?

Cookies.

Sandwich or Pizza?

Pizza. He’s rather fond of it.

3. Nature

Early Bird or Night Owl?

So much a night owl. Partly because of work, he tends to not go to bed until 2 or 3 or later, and doesn’t get up until noon at the earliest.

Summer or Winter?

Winter. Long hair and heat don’t mix.

City or Countryside?

Definitely the city. 

Cats or Dogs?

Neither. Neither one like him. Birds are much more his preference.

Hiking or Swimming?

Blech. Neither?

Forest or Meadow?

Meadow. Much easier to lounge majestically, and also one does not have to worry about getting one’s hair caught on every branch and twig.

4.  Misc.

Hugs or Kisses?

Both. In much quantity. And more. Would you like him to teach you what else he knows? ;)

Shorts or Long Pants?

Goddess no, don’t even mention shorts. Although much of the time he wears tunics or saris and no pants at all.

Showers or Baths?

Long, delightful luxurious baths. His bathtub is the size of a small shallow pool.

Chess or Checkers?

Neither. Both boring.

Melee or Ranged?

Ma’at is a lover, not a fighter.

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so there are lots of good pictures of baby peacocks practicing displaying

(i found most of these on google image search but thought they were important to show the world)

this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen.

I love it.

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arachnomatic

When they’re this age or a little older, they’ll display at anything roughly their size: chickens, cats, work boots…

OH! NO! It somehow never occurred to me that this would be a thing thank you for sharing this OP my life has been enriched

Ma’at’s babby pictures?

M: NO. DON’T EVEN START THAT.

Def babby pictures.

M: -shakes fist at mun-

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