[insert ziall here]

“You’re so shy, you should open up more!”

jESUS H FUCK

computer unfreezes

“oh are you done? you’re done having a hissyfit now? you’re ready to function like a reasonable machine?”

REMEMBER THAT EPISODE WHERE REESE THOUGHT MALCOLM WAS GAY AND MALCOLM THOUGHT REESE WAS GAY AND THEY TALKED ABOUT IT BUT LIKE THIS I’M CRYING

There’s a blind boy in one of my English teacher’s classes and last week our assignment was to write poetry about nature… this is what he turned in:

I feel like a terrible person for laughing at this 

you ever thought that maybe the reason girls say they’re fine when they’re not, or they’re not mad when they are, is because the second they show any semblance of emotion they’re written off as hysterical bitches that are probably on their period?

THE FUCKING DA VINCI CODE HAS BEEN CRACKED

Reblogging again, because this will never be irrelevant. 

reblogged just for the reaction pictue lmao 

Vote Bernie Sanders - why you should consider him for president

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SPREAD THIS LIKE WILD FIRE I CANT VOTE YET BUT JESUS CHRIST IF ANY OF MY FOLLOWERS ARE EIGHTEEN OR OLDER PLEASE VOTE FOR THIS MAN

lucas better keep his little mouth shut

I laminated a paper towel

why does this have 31 thousand notes

You made it useless but also prevented it from the end it was predestined for.

But wait this is actually freaking me out though, it raises so many questions about the otherwise incomprehensible meaning of life as a collective whole versus personal sustenance and longevity

Imagine if one day you were given a choice: Become immortal and indestructible for eternity, unable to be harmed by anything ever again, and get to live forever.

However, in order to achieve that you must give up whatever your purpose in life is. Whatever it is that you were always meant to do, what you were supposed to contribute to the overall scheme and future of the life of the universe, your purpose… the whole reason you were even created, even born in the first place. You must give that up. You don’t know what that is. You’ll never know; But, regardless, you say yes.

Perhaps you assume you wouldn’t have made any sort of significant difference anyway. That butterfly effect theory or whatever they call it? Nah, you call bullshit. It doesn’t matter - you don’t matter, at least not to anything outside of your immediate connections - and it’ll all be fine, and you’ll just live forever with minimal (or maybe even no) consequences.

So, yay! You’re now immortal. You’ll never die or get hurt ever again. Wee!

But then, centuries and centuries later (not to mention that by this point you’ve gone through horrible heartbreak and misery and despair because every loved one you ever had, every friend you ever made, ever person you barely got to know, has passed away, died as you lived on long without them, helpless to do anything for them as you watched them perish, unable to ever go with them or ever see them again. But I digress), now, you learn you actually were important in the grand scheme of things. You were supposed to be a key factor in the world’s survival, long ago; but, because of the choice you made (immortality over individual purpose), you were never given the knowledge or awareness or resources or ability to save the world that you were always supposed to obtain, before you unknowingly made the wrongest choice to ever wrong.

Needless to say, you’ve fucked up big time.

The entire universe as we know it is destroyed soon after this horrifying revelation. It implodes, collapses in on itself, essentially forming a massive black hole or something. Stars, nebulae, galaxies, solar systems and planets, worlds and worlds of living people and things, and light-years of time and space and life, all sucked up into absolute, indefinite nothingness.

But you remain.

Just you. Floating amongst, spiraling around, rocketing through, suspended in… nothing. With a feeling of such unbelievable loneliness that your feeble brain can hardly perceive, can’t possibly hope to comprehend. Not only are you the only living thing left, you don’t even have one inanimate object to keep you company. You have literally. Nothing. And you are literally nowhere. I mean, technically, you are now the universe - if it would bring you petty comfort to think about it that way. You. Only you. With nothing, no one, nowhere. Forever. And ever. And ever.

All because you thought you didn’t matter. That you had no real, meaningful purpose. That you could never possibly make a difference.

But you did. And now look what you’ve gotten yourself into, you silly nugget. You’re gonna be pretty bored and lonely for that eternity, huh?

Or maybe it was out of selfishness. Maybe this wasn’t because you felt useless, but because you simply only cared about prolonging your own life and nothing else. Hm.

The moral here? Be selfless, and always know and remember that you matter.

Or else, one day, you might destroy the universe. And be left to suffer, and be tortured horribly and endlessly by the void of nothingness that has consumed you. With no way to escape. Ever.

Other moral because I got sidetracked from my initial point - all things considered, would you choose longevity over purpose? Immortality over meaning? 

OR, IDK, MAYBE SOME IDIOT JUST LAMINATED A STUPID PIECE OF PAPER TOWEL FOR NO GOOD REASON

AND MAYBE I SHOULDNT BE LOOKING FOR THE ANSWERS TO THE MEANING OF OUR SHORT, FRAGILE LIVES IN

A LAMINATED

PAPER

T OW E L

IDK MAN,

I D K

Write. A. Book.

What if I did write a book

and the pages of that book

were made out of

laminated

paper towels

I WASNT GONNA REBLOG UNTIL THAT LAST COMMENT

This fucked me up.

FUCK MAN WRITE A BOOOK BECOME A PHILOSOPHER YOU MADE THAT FROM A LAMINATED PIECE OF PAPER TOWEL 

WHAT A LITTLE SHIT

i lOVE HOW HE JUST HESITATES FOR A SECOND

THEN HE JUST

“REBELLION”

I’ve never yet been able to resist reblogging this

Climate change deniers are freaking out about this.

Fox News is also freaking out about this.

DO IT GOOGLE

DO IT

FUCKING DO IT

DO IT

This might be the best thing ever filmed.

I’ve seen the gif, but it’s even better with the context of how little time it took.

please watch this show

Can we talk about how Anne Hathaway’s husband Adam Shulman looks a bit like William Shakespeare… who had a wife named Anne Hathaway?

damn the illuminati’s not even trying anymore

I guess you could say that when Anne hath a Will, Anne Hathaway

No

okay I have to reblog for that pun

#mandatory

I think Willy Shakes would be proud of that pun.

THIS IS SERIOUSLY A SALAD DRESSING COMMERCIAL

WHAT ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO SELL

equal sexual representation between both genders on tv 

i will reblog this over and over until my fingers bleed from reblogging

Lets get zesty

A SALAd drESSING COMMerciAL SHOULD NOT TURN mE ON BUT IT DOEs

I didn’t realize I needed this in my life till now