yknow what chilchuck deserved that sex ed talk maybe if someone told him about safe sex earlier he wouldn't of ended up divorced with 3 kids
just choked on my drink
This is how I feel in the comment section of every split face tortie
Thank god they brought back An Amount Of Daylight That Makes You Want To Live. It was getting a bit scary for a minute there.
letโs settle this shit but do NOT reblog if youโre gonna be modest about it like a little BITCH. anyway privilege check tell me which ones apply to you: hot, funny, can dance, can do math, can spell, can drive, can cook
do you think, for a potato chip, being dipped in an onion-based condiment is like seeing an old friend for the first time in years, both of you fundamentally changed and soon destined to die but nonetheless still here in this moment?
Why would a potato and an onion be friends?
they grew up together! they're from the same neighborhood!! (underground)
Iโll never forget the time I was sitting with this guy, nice kid, didnโt know him well, I think we must have had a bottle of wine or some questionable hashish or something, and in response to an awkward silence I just started talking and ended up going on a long meandering rant about how ugly American robins are. Iโm talking a full monologue. I had an intro and conclusion. It was pointlessly vehement. I have never been so mean or loquacious about anything in my life.
Consider my horror when this perfectly nice guy wordlessly lifted his shirt to reveal a full-torso prismacolor tattoo of his spiritual soul animal, the American robin.
Their scientific name sounds like "Migrating Turd" but otherwise I find them charming if fairly derpy and mundane. I don't know if I'd get a tattoo of one though. They're like the potato of American birds.
I have no actual animosity towards them. Theyโre fine. I like them. They remind me if my college roommate and beloved friend. I donโt know why I said any of thatโI was grasping at straws for something kind of provocative to say and failed so catastrophically that I was catapulted into a Seinfeld skit.
eerily similar to the time in college someone tried to make conversation by making fun of a silly book a former high school teacher of theirs had written only for me to just pull out a physical copy of the exact book because iโd realized he was talking about my dad
the foot seeks the mouth like leaves seek the sun
yesterday was the ten year anniversary of my insensitive American Robin comment and my tattooed friend messaged me to celebrate the โfunniest thing that had ever happened to himโ so sometimes critically failing a charisma check leads to a whole decade of joy for someone else
Intellect devourer: please... you must rescue us... I am newborn...
The husk it's inhabiting:
No but really
image of all time
words of affirmation for those seeking a werewolf girlfriend
fruice,,, ๐ฅญ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
,,, vegdebles ๐ฅฆ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ซ๐ฝ
obsessed with harvey at the y2 luau. absolutely busting ass with this quirked up jpeg shuffle. hes such a shut-in i bet this was like a magical girl transformation for him. the townsfolk see him walk onto the dance floor and are like ohhhh shit peepaws about to bust it down narsty style. fuck it UP white boy. the last ditch effort of a swagless migratory bird throwing back his ENTIRE pussy to attract a mate. im so obsessed with him you dont understa
more chickenposting