The Simple Things

Review of a butterfly farm… 🦋

I interned at a place w butterflies and had to tell a mom to please stop offering the “snacks” on the pedestals to her kids and we had to give a speech to all the ppl who entered which I added lines to daily. Including the infamous “butterflies like fruit that’s a little older than what we eat, so the fruit is just for them! Please don’t eat it!” And “please please please please please don’t come in here if you’re afraid of butterflies.” It was the closest thing to hell I’ve ever experienced

*going to a butterfly farm* there better not be any fuckin butterflies in here

I always am about to go to sleep at a beautiful 11pm and then something happens to me

me in the pussy if im being fully honest

i appreciate your candid tell all style approach to my posts

Get hot water, not boiling hot but almost hotter than you can stand, and put a metal spoon in it for a few seconds. Take the spoon and put it against the mosquito bite for about 30 seconds. Do it a few times if you like. The proteins that cause the itching are susceptible to heat and break down.

WHY DON’T THEY TEACH THIS SHIT I have four decades of suffering from skeeter bites behind me

One study on 146 individuals treated with a Bite-Away heat pen found similarly effective results from heat treatment; thankfully, spoons dunked in water cost way less than the Bite-Away’s 30 bucks.

You can also blast the bite with a hair dryer - learned this from my mom and it works great

Thanks to this post, I have four swiftly-healing, non-itchy mosquito bites and one second-degree burn

when i was post op after top surgery i had a good friend there with me to help recover. but the nurse didnt get the memo and when i woke up she was like “ok i’m gonna go get your girlfriend and bring her in to see you!” and i remember being so zonked on anesthesia and so disoriented i just laid there thinking wow…… all that an they’re bringing me a girlfriend too this place is amazing

i hope this cartoon causes teenage infighting the likes of which steven universe couldnt even dream of

Me visiting the god damn monkey attack beach: "There better not be any god damn monkey attacks here"

I'm like if a whore were celibate

The amount of experience as Spider-Man/Woman in order

The amount of time each of them has spent on HRT.

"you couldnt waterboard that out of me" is one of the funniest things you can say to someone on here. right up there with the "sorry my follower added that to your post" cake. i would literally deactivate forever

i need to stand ankle deep in a creek about this

this one

i lied it's this one

they're all classics but I voted for the betsy ross museum because I love when something that weird is presented as if it's supposed to be something actually very common and normal

Willy Wonka is a childrens version of SAW

i am so tired of peeing. i drink the water, which i apparently need to live or something, then i have to go put the water somewhere else five minutes later. i drink the water, i go to a place to un-drink the water, i wash my hands, i leave, then i have to drink more water. guess where that water ends up? not in me! i give the water to my body and like a child it tosses it out and demands more. all hours of the day all hours of the night no matter what i am doing my life is interrupted by piss and this is bullshit