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What if your wife orbits my dick?

@batsecretary / batsecretary.tumblr.com

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gooompy

"Evidence that Pokémon once familiar to us have been spotted in the various dimensions linked together by Ultra Space, in the same way that Ultra Beasts have been spotted in our own dimension. Upon falling through an Ultra Wormhole, these Pokemon become bathed in a strange energy that seems to facilitate rapid changes and adaptations needed to survive in their new environments, among other speculated effects. We have dubbed them "dimensional forms," though internally we use the code name "ultra variant," or "UV" for short."

-Aether Report excerpt

It seems that when exposed to the bizarre lands of Ultra Space, Eevee's evolutions take on new forms. I wonder what other strange forms we have yet to see! More info coming soon!

*More detailed lore later, but as a brief explanation on each one's inspirations:

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foone

The thing neurotypicals tend not to understand about the ADHD brain is that it really only has two gears

I turn to the chalkboard and carefully write out

WORKIN' HARD

HARDLY WORKIN'

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kaminarider

Much like a cars transmission getting stuck between gears the adhd brain can also access a secret mode called HORKLY WARDIN' that feels bad

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one of my favorite things in the whole world is offering to take people’s pictures for them. I could spend a whole vacation just standing around scenic overlooks taking photos of tourists with their own cameras. I know how to frame a shot and I know lighting and I can fidget with camera settings to ensure they get a vacation portrait that’s worth framing when they get home. they’ll have that photo on their wall forever and will show it to their friends and families and use it on their dating apps for years to come and I’ll know ‘TWAS I THAT MADE THIS THING POSSIBLE, AH HA HA HA HA HA

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When you hear a new song on the radio and you’re desperately trying to pick a notable phrase so you can google it later

Gather round, kids. Let me tell you a story from ye olden days because I am tumblr elderly. I used to DJ for a radio station. I played records and CDs and we had station IDs from bands on 8 track cartes. People would call me asking what songs were–but they had to mumble, sing, or play the song on an instrument. I had someone call me to ask what Smells Like Teen Spirit was when it was a single. They played it on an accordion. I forgot about it until a moment ago when I saw this post.

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therothwoman

They played it on an accordion

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vaspider

Tell me about a turn of phrase that introduced you to the power of language, especially if it comes from a source that most people disregard.

I'll start: one of the first times I really fell in love with a line from a song was when I heard "I'd Really Love To See You Tonight" on the radio.

The chorus goes:

I'm not talking about moving in
And I don't want to change your life
But there's a warm wind blowing the stars around
And I'd really love to see you tonight

I have been obsessed with the line "there's a warm wind blowing the stars around" since I was something like 6 years old. It's so beautifully economic in its word use, isn't it? You know that the night is clear and beautiful, it's windy but warm, it's a perfect night for being outside and looking at the sky. In eight words, even as a small child, I had a perfect mental image of what that night looks like.

The other one that always comes to mind is the Muppet Christmas Carol song "It Feels Like Christmas," for one line only:

It is the summer of the soul in December

The "s" sound in summer, soul, and December all fall on the beat. It is a perfect example of using consonance (as opposed to alliteration, which would require those sounds to all be at the start of the word) in lyrics or poetry, and is one of the first times I really remember that concept sticking in my mind. (I use consonance very heavily in my poetry, so that's, like, formative.)

Tell me about the language that showed you what language can do - and for my sanity, please make it cool stuff and not like "and that's how I learned how shitty propaganda works," bc while that is in fact part of how language works, this is Tunglr dot com and I'd prefer to have a nice time today. Thanks.

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lirilan

My edition of 'language that showed me what language can do' was 'I Am The Horrible Goose That Lives In The Town' by Daniel Lavery, the written piece about Untitled Goose Game.

It's such a glorious piece.

I am the horrible creeping bag of sound that is the most worst to you! I will use my beak to mischief you and I will press B. I wobble my snake-front-body and I waggle my bag-back-body and they meet in the middle to plan a bad idea to upset you. I flap back and forth my business rear for balancing and I snapple-pap my feet all up and down the town for terrible reasons, and you don’t like it. I am the goose and you are the miserable boy with no honk. I invented my body and it was the best idea.

Look at that. That is someone having infinite fun with words, and creating something incredibly evocative.

I am the most goose who ever was, and I am enough goose for the whole town, because I am a little white heartbeat that moves very fast, more fast than anything else, for surprises.

I could talk about all the books and poems that built glorious palaces out of words, the ones I've read and explored since I was small, but there are so many, and I'd rather be showing you this fairground house of mirrors to get lost in and giggle at the way everything reflects back and forth.

I say "I invented my body and it was the best idea" all the time. So good.

A thing I quote all the time is "You've gotta risk it to get the biscuit" which is nonsensical but seeing as its from a c-list 00s sports romcom I'm not surprised. At the same time I'm like right! sometimes I do gotta push my luck, be brave, and see what happens. I can't win if I don't take risks.

I have a textpost from 2016 saved as a screenshot on my phone because man, it stuck with me enough that I had to hold on to it somehow.

img id: a screenshot of an old style tumblr textpost. the firstline is op's url evilsupplyco. the second paragraph is the post that reads: She had the confidence of a well organized library and the haunted grace of a moonlit cemetery.

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ikeepbeez

"Where is the boy for me to disrespect? I am his least friend. I see his games an I contempt them. I ruin his life! Glasses for him? No! Shoelaces for him? No! I make every escape. I am the pest of his whole awful body but my body is so smooth and good. My body works. My body is the softest triangle with a hose attached, strong and useful and all the way sweetheart."

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its really crazy how fast food was billed as cheap for the price of being shitty and now its just like...... well with these prices might as well get an actually decent meal at a real restaurant lol

like if what used to be a 5$ meal at McDonalds is now 15$ why would i eat that when i can get actually good food at the local thai place for the exact same price. it actually tastes good, lasts longer, and im not liable to get a fucking pathogen from it

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Frodo: Sam hates Gollum, but that is what I shall become once I have lost myself to the ring… he’ll despise me… 

Sam if Frodo did turn into a Gollum: That’s a very nice fish you caught with your bare hands, Mr. Frodo, and its very smart of you to eat it raw, saves us the trouble of starting a fire. I knitted you a sweater in case you get cold running around in that loincloth of yours. Is the sun hurting your eyes? I’ll kill it if it’s bothering you. I’ll kill the sun

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