I live for this photoshoot of Issa Rae for GQ Magazine

one time in 2007 i crashed the entire club penguin website. it was down for 2 days. i was banned for life. 

many of you have asked, and so i shall give: 

in 2007, my older brother gave me a small piece of information that would soon result in the shutdown of Club Penguin for a few days. he taught me a glitch in the club penguin system that, when sitting in the coffee shop, would make your penguin sit on the ceiling of the coffee shop instead. 

and with this piece of information, i took off. i spent hours going to every server over and over, saying the same message: everyone meet in the coffee shop tomorrow at 7 pm in the snowball server. i did this in every single server, in every location i could find.

then, finally, 7 pm the next day arrived. snowball had a population rating of 5. penguins poured into the coffee shop, all awaiting my instructions. i then gave the next message, that of the glitch. i told everyone to wait exactly 3 minutes, then perform the glitch. they did. every penguin in the coffee shop was suddenly on the ceiling, and either the club penguin coding or the club penguin offices had no idea what to do, and no way to take us down. for a small glimpse of time, we ruled victorious – nothing and no one could stop us. 

every great kingdom awaits its downfall, however. eventually, the website crashed. no one could go on the website for 2 days after that. my penguin was banned for life. 

“Hey, do you own any cats?”

“yeah i own cats. i own them all the time. *points at a passing cat* you walk like a moron. hey, who’s your barber? some kind of…bad barber or something?? idiot”

I need straight women to realize that they are 100% just as straight as straight men are, and that their opinions on homosexuality–including what it means to be a lesbian–are just as meaningless and inappropriate as straight men’s opinions are.

Are you saying every straight opinion on homosexuality is meaningless?

yep

[04/11/2019]

god i love this one

job interviews: did you mean, advanced lying

small talk: did you mean, normal lying

the concept of the self: did you mean, secret lying

https://www.instagram.com/p/BubKGSMlln5

I am abt to lose my fuckin mind because I happened upon this gender reveal party. and like it’s soo over the top expensive

And like I’m like. Oh great, a horse themed gender reveal party.

complete with like … just truly excessive foods and of course, themed cocktails

and this sign which like… the fragility of like *not* italicizing the word ‘colt’. Like imagine being this weird abt gender

with like, a bucket that eventually ‘revealed’ the gender

But like… the picture that really just completely undid me, for this party which surely was more money than many weddings -

it’s not a horse themed gender reveal party. It’s a gender reveal party FOR A HORSE. I can’t even like imagine the life that would lead to hosting a gender reveal party for a not-yet-born horse. Think abt getting an invitation to this. the cis are at it again.

And that there’s that many guests, my god

NEVER has a post thrown me for such a fucking loop before

Lissajous curve table

i dont understand what this is but its so mesmerising

The top row circles determine where the dot is on the X-axis, the left row detetmines where it is on the Y-axis. They’re used to show more complex harmonic motion

@the-real-numbers

Appropriate ways to appreciate this gif:

When you see a funny meme on social media only to realize it was posted by a corporation

why is James spelled with an s. why is it plural. more than 1 Jame. how many James.

objectively i feel that glenn close’s cruella de vil should be more iconic than miranda priestly solely because of the costumes like mr anthony powell really went off

miranda priestly could never

Her icon status was cemented the first time we saw those acrylic nail gloves

trans ppl be like “i feel very pretty on tdov so im gonna post selfies” and they are absolutely fucking right all trans ppl are beautiful