surishine-blog reblogged
BO BURNHAM: MAKE HAPPY SENTENCE STARTERS.
- “you should not laugh.”
- “you should not forget about your problems.”
- “the world is not funny.”
- “i have no idea what’s going on over there.”
- “what are they fighting about?”
- “i can’t wrap my mind around exactly why i’m here.”
- “you wanna be happy, well, get in line.”
- “i love the idea of you.”
- “that wasn’t clever, just mean.”
- “do not give those dumb fucks any credit.”
- “honesty’s for the birds, baby.”
- “why is there a little boy living alone down the lane?”
- “am i the only one concerned for this little boy?”
- “if you’re writing honestly, that’s art.”
- “that’s textbook pandering.”
- “that’s a scarecrow, thought it was a human woman, sorry.”
- “i hope you’re feeling me subtextually.”
- “the boots i’m wearing cost three grand.”
- “you don’t know what land you’re in.”
- "they’re lying and manipulating you.”
- “you deserve better.”
- “thank you, weird man. bye.”
- “culture’s over, everybody, we lost.”
- “how dare they think them fucking around is worthy of your attention?”
- “yeah, ‘whoo’ that sadness out.”
- “if you want love, lower your expectations a lot.”
- “if he’s got a thing for feet, say, fuck it, sweep me off them.”
- “you might think your dick’s a gift, but i promise, it’s not.”
- “but deep down we know we don’t deserve it.”
- “we all deserve love, even on the days we aren’t our best.”
- “original doesn’t mean good.”
- “why are you holding a jar of mayonnaise?”
- “touché, bitch.”
- “i have to clean it up because you’ll only mess it up more if you do.”
- “flaming hot cheetos are not for pussies.”
- “they’re not sponsoring me, i’m just trying to get them to.”
- “do not stick with me through thick.”
- “if i stop entertaining you, kick me to the curb.”
- "man, if only i was anybody else at all.”
- “i went through a pretty rough breakup recently.”
- “it’s over.”
- “we shouldn’t fight to stay together just to fight again.”
- “eat a dick.”
- if you don’t like this dick sitch, eat a dick, bitch.”
- “i try to speak to you but you don’t listen.”
- “honestly, are you fucking five?”
- “i’m saying how i’m feeling and you’re saying ‘eat a dick’ over and over again, does that seem mature to you?”
- “i’m hurt and i’m trying to hide it.”
- “i thought we had a future together.”
- “i didn’t think you’d cry for me.”
- “i thought you were lashing out in anger but now i see you’re scared.”
- “maybe we can work this out and not break up.”
- “you think three lousy tears offsets three years of shit?”
- "you’re not what i need, hon; lick this clit then leave, son.”
- “can i say my shit?”
- “i’ve got lots of shit to say.”
- “i can’t fit my hand inside a pringle can.”
- “you think you can, i know you can’t.”
- “irony can be so painful.”
- “dude, you should’ve warned me.”
- “half the shit inside my burrito spilled out.”
- “i wouldn’t have got the _______ if i knew it wouldn’t fit.”
- “truth is, my biggest problem’s you.”
- “i wanna please you but i wanna stay true to myself.”
- “a part of me loves you, a part of me hates you.”
- “i don’t think that i can handle this right now.”
- “if you hated it, that’s fair.”
- “on a scale of one to zero, are you happy?”
- “i really wanna try to get happy.”
- “i wouldn’t even want it if i got it.”
- “oh god, my dad was right.”
- “you’re everything you hated, are you happy?”
