*marries u but only as a friend*

what your favourite musical says about you

move over horoscopes this is the Hot New Personality Metric of 2017

any golden age musical: you’re a dancer, or you really wish you were a dancer. you’re not really involved in the shipping / character analysis aspects of fandom. you are either extraordinarily pretentious or very very chilled out, but either way you probably think you were born in the wrong decade

bandstand: you definitely think you were born in the wrong decade

hello dolly: you have a trademark Favourite Actress™ and you have probably argued with a falsettos fan at some point in the past month

war paint: you really like patti lupone

mainstream sondheim (into the woods, sweeney todd, etc): if you were a spice, you’d be flour. if you were a book, you’d be two books.

obscure sondheim: you have a working knowledge of music theory and you like to try and make objective value judgements of musicals based on this. you probably want to be a music director and you listen along to musicals with a piano and/or a copy of the score by your side. alternatively, you actually prefer a mainstream sondheim musical but you want to sound cultured

any german musical: much like the golden age musical fan, you’re either really chill or REALLY pretentious. you also care a lot about costume design

any show that’s basically only done for school productions: there’s a solid chance that you’re the kind of theatre kid everyone hates. either that or you’re very independent and don’t give a shit what anyone thinks, to a really admirable extent.

cats: you’re a furry, or you had a warrior cats phase, or you started liking it ironically but accidentally got really into it. you’re either an incredible dancer or the very thought of dancing strikes terror into your heart

any other lloyd webber musical: either you’re very committed to being ironic, or you’re chaotic evil. maybe both

les mis: you’re a little bit basic and you either embrace it or try way too hard to disguise it. you have no concept of liking things in moderation. you probably actually care about the west end

phantom of the opera: as above. you probably had a twilight phase, or used phantom as a substitute for a twilight phase. you also have really strong opinions about the design aspects of theatre

wicked: you do high school theatre. you are a little bit too passionate about high school theatre.

next to normal: you’ve probably been in the online theatre fandom for a while and you sometimes forget it’s not 2012. aaron tveit was your first celebrity crush.

newsies: you’re incredibly good at picking out a single ensemble member at the start of a show and following their entire track for 2 and a half hours. you really wish you were a dancer

fun home: you’re a lesbian

ghost quartet: either your favourite musical is actually great comet but you’re scared of sounding too mainstream, or you manage to be really weird and effortlessly cool at the same time. you have a favourite cryptid and you definitely believe at least one conspiracy theory

great comet: you were in the les mis or hamilton fandoms at some point. you want to be a little bit edgier than you actually are, and you’re probably a little bit depressed. alternatively, you’re a mother with a crush on josh groban. you probably have strong opinions about the 2017 tonys.

falsettos: you definitely have strong opinions about the 2017 tonys.

hamilton: on the one hand, you’re not afraid of liking things once they start to be seen as overhyped, and that’s to be admired. on the other hand there’s at least a 50% chance that you’ve called thomas jefferson a sinnamon roll so uhh

in the heights: you probably also like hamilton, but you either love or despise the hamilton fandom.

the dear evan hansen / be more chill / heathers combo: you love making fanart and animatics make up the majority of your youtube recommendations. you also really love memes. you can sometimes be a little bit obnoxious but your heart is in the right place

the above combo plus hamilton: i’m scared of you.

feel free to reblog and add more but these are the main categories of Theatre Fan i have encountered here on tungle dot hell

come from away: you’re canadian and gay, probably not even from newfoundland, let alone gander, but you’re hyped about it all the same.

american idiot: you’re punk rock. you don’t like rules. you miss someone.

spring awakening: you’re a prestigious classic asshole.

deaf west spring awakening: you love good staging and choreography makes you nut.

waitress: you have good taste, both in women and in music.

an american in paris: you’re an aesthetic hoe

avenue q: be ashamed.

something rotten!: you would let christian borle [REDACTED] your [REDACTED] [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]. You’re the only one to ever make plans and get your friends together and appreciate some good comedy.

hairspray: you love some yourself 

the book of mormon: You’re a jokester. You sing that annoying “hello” song at innoportune moments and make people wanna give you a swift right hook.

25th annual putnam county spelling bee: you’re the cutest theatre enthusiast around, so excited to be here and in with it. you’re perfect and beautiful, keep doing what you’re doing.

anastasia: you’re russian regality and appreciate some beautiful tunes and good lighting.

the above plus great comet: you’re the exploding brain meme of russian aesthetic.

rent: you’re gay. you’re depressed. you really love mimi.

Apparently I’m a lesbian who has a strong opinion on the 2017 Tonys and good taste in both woman and music (this is probably the most accurate description of me ever)

WHO THE FUCK VOTED BILL NYE OFF DANCING WITH THE STARS???? HE INVENTED SCIENCE WHAT DO U THINK YOURE DOIGN

he left because he got injured..

WHO THE FUCK HURT BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY

He tore his own ligaments whilst dancing.

WHO THE FUCK ALLOWED BILL NYE TO DO THIS TO HIMSELF

Brent’s new dillow is super comfortable. However, since he’s been using it he’s only had sour dreams.

Denny’s are you okay?

www.dennysareyouok.wtf

i just spent thirty minutes looking through dennys tumblr i have so many questions

like what?

primarily, @dennys are you okay?

www.dennysareyouokay.wtf

dennys i dream of your fries

thats not even a question

by Kat Raccoon

when my dog had surgery he cried a lot the first night, but he’d stop when i laid down beside him. so i crawled into his cage with him so he’d stop crying and pet him until he fell asleep. i fell asleep with him and when i woke up, that bITCH WAS ON MY BED AND LEFT ME IN THE CAGE

some idiot on reddit made a bot that replies to every comment that uses the word penis with ‘lol penis’ and didn’t realise it would also pick up on its own comments

(Gif credit!) —- Check out more comics on my website, maybe!

the distant screams of children are so strange like are they having fun?? are they getting stabbed??? you never know

???

It’s a fucking banger

“swearing is so unattractive.”

“fuck you I ain’t attractive anyways.”

lips: soft face: soft hair: soft heart: soft

lips: chapped face: oily hair: greasy heart: clogged

here’s the thing about manipulative people: they will continue to manipulate you long after you’ve cut them from your life.

they’ll manipulate your words, your actions, your personality when they retell the story to themselves, to mutual friends, to people you don’t even know. and they will retell it, because in the retelling, they get to be the victim, and they can use it to manipulate even more people into feeding the need for attention and sympathy that rules their lives.

it can be maddening after the fact, to think about the control they still hold over the narrative, but you have to remember that you are not that narrative. they manipulate what you left in your wake because they no longer have you to manipulate. and you’ve come out the winner either way, because all they have to cling to is that narrative and its details, but you? you’re free of them for good and you are so much better for it.

One name comes to mind.

LMFAOOO

White on White Crime.

nick tweeted screenshots of texts he got from james after this too hgfdsfgh