Hello Internet Friends

Ngl I was not prepared for where this was going

Me: oh okay she’s lipsynching her song

Me: Is that-

Me:

I LITERALLY had the experience of seeing Tony Hawk and going “a man” and then he picked up a skateboard and I was like “TONY HAWK???”

I threw a dog on the ground today 😭😭😭

I am embarrassed by how hard this made me laugh.

…..does this mean cat people hurl cats at the ground?

you just kind of… open ur arms and they sort themselves out. if you try and place them down they get mad and wiggle and make everything worse

some friends of mine have the most un-cat-ish cat i have ever met

my quintessential example of this:

i was holding him in my arms petting him while we were picking out what games to play that night. when we’d decided on a few, i needed to put the cat down in order to, you know, carry boxes. so i started letting him down, expecting that he’d eventually do the cat hop thing… but he never did.

i ended up lowering him all the way to the floor. and even then he never got his feet under him. i just sort of… plopped him down on his side as he stared up at me like a betrayed sack of flour.

just once in my life i wanna get up in the morning without going through the full seven stages of grief first

What are the extra two?

Denial 2 and Astral Projection

@unpretty

it’s DIRT

unmute for comically aggrieved farmer

reblogging for the second time because I still laugh uncontrollably. in my mind the cows are trying to be gracious about their strange gift. ‘yes we love it thank u’

i fucking lost it when she opened the fridge

A big mood

I missed this video

Keeyum.

@huffpc

Anybody else start getting just as mad as her when she’s reading the inane fucking incomprehensible texts. DO YOU WANT THE CAKE OR NOT GINGER

WHERE IS HER OSCAR

I need her to make me a cheesecake 😭😭😭

I love the “Mom is single but she’s sadly not gay”

*At CVS. A brown starling that’s stuck in the store, flies by the register* 

me pointing at the bird: is that your manager 

cashier: … 

me: sorry, that was a bad joke 

cashier: Oh good I was about to say, because clearly THAT’S our manager

*cashier points at a pigeon walking down aisle 4*

I don’t know what the average number of birds in a pharmacy is normal for the US, but I think there’s a window that needs to be closed.

It’s not a Window, the birds come in through the doors.

This review for a dog life jacket is sending me

Me: so anyway, everyone shipped an angel with this monster hunter-

Child: grandma what does this have to do with the 2020 election

Me:

actually the craziest death ever to happen on this show

Aang: I refuse to take a life

Suyin: gonna liquify this chick’s entire head

Wholesome

It was kind of a dick move to create animals that require air, then confine them to the freaking ocean

If you are talking about dolphins they used to be wolf like creatures that due to scarcity of food they had to hunt in water so they slowly evolved into water mammals, dolphins still have claw bones but they are unnecessary and dolphins will get rid of them with time and will develop abilities to breath under water

(This also partially applies to whales)

They were what now?

Mother Nature, come out here I just want to talk

🐯 🐯 🐯

good morning everyone have an absolutely furious mongoose

It’s cuter when you recognize that the lion with visible spots is a juvenile. There’s a very high chance the other lion that runs over to investigate is the MOTHER.

The first lion is asking for comfort because she was given a big spook!!! and she needs mommy to tell her it’s safe and ok!!!! (What’s cuter is that mommy clearly reassures her, and goes on to take the parent role of ‘deal with the scream rat in order to protect my large and easily frightened daughter’)

this is all in all an adorable video 10/10

Who Would Win?

Three apex predators

OR

One Screaming Long Boi

words cannot describe how much I absolutely adore this video

One moment you’re 17 and daydreaming about how glamorous your life will be when you’re finally an adult, then all of sudden it’s a decade later and “treating yourself” means buying full price pistacchios and taking a bath on a week night.

and it is not even nice and is not even helping

Someone I know accidentally added oregano to their coffee instead of cinnamon and had to carefully scoop it out with a spoon. This person is a fool and a disgrace and I have lost all respect for them. 

…was it….was it you?

It was someone I know very well. The details do not matter.