stolen time│pleasedontxchange

"I did what I had to do," the Doctor replied in a firm, yet icy tone. He wouldn’t have let them hurt Lily, but there was no use explaining it. Clara would be determined to believe what she wanted to believe. He’d saved her though, he’d saved her and Lily was out of there, so was she. He’d even gotten himself out of there because she’d wanted that. It was like she was blind to all of those things and he wasn’t going to bother to point them out to her, it would be pointless.

"I know," he murmured. Clara knew Lily better than he did, even if he’d been watching often. He hadn’t been able to actually be there though, Lily didn’t know him, she knew her mother and she wouldn’t want to be with him either. He hated seeing how frightened Lily was and that made him blame himself even more. He could have prevented this. He wasn’t sure how, but none of this had to have happened.

The Doctor let out a small breath of relief and then he nodded. “Okay. I’ll wait a few months then.” He would need some time on his own too, to get over everything, to have something be done about those aliens. They couldn’t just get away with what they’d done.

He clicked his fingers together and the TARDIS doors opened. Lily watched in awe and he wished that he could have her on board a little longer, but the TARDIS was not a place for a baby. “There you go, home. I suppose this is it then. For now. Goodbye Clara and Lily.” His tone was sadder than he would have liked, but he knew that them going home was for the best.

"No-- you could have done something else. Anything else. You could have at least done something to tell me." Clara argued. She knew that she wasn't being reasonable, but she was hurting too much. Everything was still too raw for her to handle. She just wanted to be with her baby, alone, for a while, to sort things through in her head.

When he opened the door, Clara rose to her feet and made her way towards it, ignoring how her limbs ached in protest against the movement, "Goodbye Doctor," she responded calmly, making sure Lily remained close to her chest.

She walked away from the TARDIS after that, heading towards the stairs that lead up to her flat. She hadn't thought about what would happen when she encountered everyone she knew once more, especially with Lily in tow, and so when she opened the door to her flat and saw her father standing there, she was at a loss for words.

There had been a lot of crying and sobbing at first, from him, her and Lily, but things escalated from there quickly. At sometime when Clara wasn't paying attention, he called someone. At least, that was what Clara figured must have happened, as a few moments later there were strange men in her flat.

She tried to fight them, to make them leave and let her keep Lily close to her, but they had soon torn the baby from her arms and had injected something into her. Whatever they had injected her with worked quickly, as her already weakened limbs soon became sluggish, and the last things she heard before she lost consciousness were the repeated apologies of her father, and the cries of Lily.

He frowned a little. “I’m not sure what you should do either. I…I just want us to be okay, I don’t want to have to end things with you.”

"We can be okay! You don't need to end everything!"

"Please. I still love you."

He rolled his eyes. “You’re wrong, Clara. I just seek to preserve my life. That’s all I want,” he explained in an almost kind voice. “I wish that you could understand.”

Clara's eyes narrowed, "Almost everyone wants to preserve their own lives, but this is just wrong," she argued, "You're shortening others. It's horrible-- it's like you have no morals."

This Doctor was different. Not much could faze him, or fluster him, and so he stood there and blinked, wondering why she was taking such delight in it all if it was in vain.

"Yes, Miss Oswald," he frowned, folding his arms across his chest. "And I think I shall have to give you detention.

               —Or, at least, the equivalent to one.”

“…No trips in the TARDIS for at least a week, Clara.

                       —Not a problem for me, of course, but for you…”

She was surprised by his reaction, and more than a bit disappointed, but she was assuming that they were empty words. She didn't for a moment believe that he was actually going to stop her from travelling with him for any amount of time.

"You do realise that the teacher giving the detention has to remain with the pupil having the detention for the duration of it, right?"

"Because it sounds like you just grounded yourself."

The Doctor nodded his head, not bothering to mention that he could easily fix it with a small amount of regeneration energy. Might as well not waste it on himself though. If only he could go back and save all of the people he couldn’t with one of his regenerations, all of them even. It was too late. This was a fixed point that he wasn’t ever going to be able to fix. He leaned on his other elbow, placing it on his knee and his chin in his open hand.

Was she still going to leave? She had every reason too. Even if he said he wasn’t going to let her.. actions spoke bigger than words. He couldn’t just keep her here against her will. He wasn’t going to sink to those levels, not anymore. But she couldn’t just leave.. her leaving now would do exactly the opposite of what he wanted to happen here. He wanted to repair whatever he could get his hands on and repair it. Even if she wasn’t going to trust him ever again, her choosing to stay with him rather than leave was a start.

Clara darted from the control room, reaching the medbay in record time, and grabbing the first aid kit, before returning to the Doctor. When she reached his side, she knelt down beside him and offered him a nervous smile, "Hey… How about you don't go hurting yourself like this again?"

She reached forwards and took his hand, before opening the first aid kit and producing a bandage, "You just need to stay still for a few moments," she told him quietly, before trying to lighten the situation slightly, "And you don't need to worry; I'm a certified First Aider."

stolen time│pleasedontxchange

"I would have never, never ever killed her. I’d have protected her. And you don’t understand, I saved you." The blankness in her voice worried him. Would she ever trust him again? If she went home, would he be allowed to visit Lily? His arms tightened just a little around the girl and she squirmed in his arms. He sensed that she didn’t trust him either and all of it hurt. He just wanted them to understand that he’d been protecting them. He’d done wht he had to do, otherwise they’d probably all be really dead right now.

The Doctor was almost reluctant to hand her over. It was likely that Clara wouldn’t want him near her ever again. He pressed a kiss to the top of his daughters head and he felt her tense in his arms. Frowning slightly, he murmured over to Clara, “Be careful.” He knew that what he’d given her would take a little bit of time to fully get out of her system.

He placed Lily in her mothers arms and after making sure that she’d be okay there, he stood. Nodding, he mumbled, “Okay.” And then he went over to the console. It took him a moment to readjust to everything in front of him and then he was typing in the coordinates for Clara’s home. It didn’t take too long at all for him to get them going and when they’d safely landed, the Doctor finally met her gaze again.

"Will I be allowed to visit?" He asked, wary of her response. He had every right to visit his daughter, but he wasn’t sure if she would want him to. And Clara, he still wanted to see her, he still loved her. Though he knew that he had lost everything that she felt toward him and he doubted that she even felt the same way anymore.

"I know you saved me. But that doesn't change a thing. What if something had gone wrong? What if I'd stayed frozen forever. What if you'd had to hand Lily over to those monsters and they hadn't let you have her back? Anything could have gone wrong. You shouldn't have done it." she explained, looking up at him as a flash of anger crossed her face, but she quickly stifled it and her emotionless facade returned.

Clara's eyes narrowed once more at his warning, "I know how to hold my own daughter, Doctor," she told him, cradling Lily next to her chest. In response, the baby clung onto her, shaking slightly in fear. Clara's gaze softened and she started to rock her gently, "It's alright now, Lily," she comforted, "Mummy's got you. Nothing bad's going to happen again."

Clara spent the next few moments while the Doctor flew the TARDIS comforting her daughter. She could tell that she was both terrified about everything that had happened, and fascinated by her new surroundings. She was happy that her daughter would finally get to see the outside world, and that Clara would be able to teach her everything about it.

She looked up again as she heard the Doctor's question. She paused, giving it proper thought, before responding, "Yes." she paused, before adding, "But not straight away. You need to give us time to settle down."

stolen time│pleasedontxchange

She was waking up, he could sense it. And he could see her chest slowly moving up and down as she was trying to catch her breath again. He didn’t know how he was going to get her to understand what he had done and perhaps it was better if she didn’t. She could go home. She would take Lily with her and they would be safe. He didn’t deserve them anyway.

'You killed me.'

Those three words rang in his ears as he stared at her. Lily reached out her hands for her mother, though he wasn’t sure if Clara was capable of holding her just yet.

The Doctor let out a breath and began his explanation. “I didn’t kill you. I merely…froze you. I had to make them think that I’d killed you, though that hadn’t been my plan at all. I was saving you, I did save you. And now we’re back in the TARDIS.” He took another slow breath, in and out again. He had to keep control of his emotions.

"I’ll take you home, if that’s what you want," he murmured, eyes leaving hers. He had seen her betrayal before. He knew that he wouldn’t have her trust so easily again. Even though everything that he had done had been to save her, he wasn’t sure if she’d understand. Though he desperately wanted her to. He wanted Clara and Lily to stay, he wanted them to be a family. Deep down he knew that those were dreams that would never come true.

Clara didn't understand what he was saying. It didn't feel like she had been frozen. She'd felt dead, or at least, what she'd always imagined it to feel like when you died. But that hadn't even been the worst part.

"I was terrified," she informed him, her voice was betraying no emotion, sounding completely blank, "But you know what? I wasn't even terrified for myself. I was terrified for Lily. I just kept thinking... if you could kill me so easily, what would you do to her? Would you even try to protect her from those monsters?" she dropped her gaze from him, "It was like I didn't even know you."

She suddenly noticed Lily reaching out for her and her gaze softened, "Give her to me," she ordered, pulling herself into a sitting position with a bit of effort, "I want to hold her again."

She gave a short nod to his offer, "Yes. Take us home." she didn't want to be with him anymore, not after all of that. She'd put so much trust in him, but then he'd just torn it all away. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to trust him again.

He grinned as he followed her into the room of the swimming pool. Oh, she was so tapped. He closed the door behind him and pulled out his screwdriver to sonic it shut. “Where are you running to Clara?” he called, now walking as he followed her, slipping his sonic back into his jacket. “There’s nowhere to go.”

Clara whirled around to face him as he locked the door, backing away from him slowly. She'd been hoping that the door would remain open, as she could have ducked around the side of the swimming pool and reached the exit that way. She looked around frantically for a way out, before her gaze landed on the tall diving board. Risking one glance back up at the Doctor, before sprinting towards the ladder.

stolen time│pleasedontxchange

She was making this more difficult than it had to be. If only she’d hand Lily over, then everything could be easier. He could see that she wouldn’t let it go, that she’d continue to fight against this and while he was proud of her, he feared for her.

The Doctor’s eyes met hers and he tried to tell her that he did love her in his gaze, that she would be okay and that they’d all be back on the TARDIS soon. She wouldn’t be able to see all of that though and he knew it.

"It’s for this." Hating what he was doing, the Doctor took hold of her arm, pushed the syringe into her skin and pressed down. "I’m so sorry Clara," he said, eyes trained on hers. If all went well, she would understand soon enough, at least he hoped so.

Lily wailed as she noticed something change about her mother and he took her away from her. She pushed on him, not wanting to go with him. Standing, he faced the creature. “It’s been done. At least give us the decency to take her back where she came from.” The creature looked at him and seemed to agree. Clara was placed onto a wheeling bed and the Doctor walked alongside her. Now all he had to do was get her to her clothes. ———————————

Lily glared at him with those eyes that reminded him so much of her mothers. She wouldn’t talk to him, even though he knew that she could speak to him through her mind. Clara was nearby and they were bringing him her clothes as per his request.

"Lily, it’ll be okay. I promise." She turned her nose up at him. So little, already so smart. Lily wouldn’t forgive him and he had less hope that Clara would too.

The other syringe was already in his pocket, waiting to be used to revive Clara. As soon as he’d been given her clothes, he’d had to act fast. Before they could realize what he was doing, the Doctor found the TARDIS key in one of her pockets, he held onto Lily, slipped the key in to Clara’s hands and held onto her.

They were gone before the creatures could do anything. He was quick as he took out the other syringe. Lily looked at him with those horrified eyes, she’d barely registered that they were in the TARDIS now. ‘Leave her alone! Don’t hurt her!’ The girl spoke in his mind and he felt relief, glad that she hadn’t lost that ability. He stuck the syringe in Clara’s arm, ignoring Lily’s protests and waited. Holding Lily in his arms, they both watched Clara as he took the drained syringe out of her arm. Now it was up to Clara, she had to wake up.

She tried to push his hand away from her arm, but whatever was in the syringe was working quickly and she found it hard to move properly. Her whole body was becoming numb, starting with her limbs and slowly climbing up to her chest, and then to her head.

Was she... dying...? No. He wouldn't do that to her. The Doctor loved her. He'd never do that, would he? But he was. He was killing her, because those monsters had told him to.

She suddenly found herself wondering what else he'd be willing to do for those monsters. What if they told him to kill Lily one day? Would he be able to do it just as easily as he was killing her right now?

She could hear Lily wailing in her arms, and she was fighting to keep her eyes open. She had to stay. For Lily. She couldn't let the Doctor take her. She had to keep fighting, she had to... She couldn't hold on anymore. Her gaze turned to the Doctor, and she forced all of the betrayal she was feeling into her eyes before she finally gave in to the darkness.

But then... Then there was feeling again. She was laying on the floor somewhere, and although her body was still quite numb, the feeling was steadily returning. She let out a small groan and managed to roll to her side, her cheek touching the cold floor.

Then she heard it, a familiar humming noise. The TARDIS? That couldn't be right... Or... Had it all been a dream? Had none of that really happened? Had she been safe on the TARDIS all along?

She pried her eyes open and looked up, her eyes widening as she saw Lily cradled in the Doctor's arms. So it hadn't been a dream. And that meant-- "You killed me."

He turned to the console and began to type in some coordinates only to realize that he didn’t know where he was going. Looking over at Clara, he shook his head. “No. I don’t know where your dad lives. Can you give me the address please?”

When she had given him the address, he had them sent into space and then to her fathers. He had wrapped an arm around Clara’s waist to make sure that she didn’t fall over. He was already being protective and with good reason. When they landed he gave her a smile and said, “Come along Clara. Let’s go talk to your father.”

She laughed at his response, rolling her eyes, "81 Roman Way, Islington," Clara responded, skipping up the console so that she was standing next to him. Just before he pulled the lever to take them into space, she grabbed a hold of the console. It turned out that she didn't have to do that, however, as his arm came up to support her.

"You know, you don't have to act so protective of me. I can still take care of myself," there was an amused tone to her voice as she spoke, showing that she wasn't annoyed by it. Although she did want him to treat her as he always had.

She was still nervous as they landed, but she supposed that she could do it. She'd just have to tell him that the Doctor was her partner. Shouldn't be too hard. She could say it in three words, if she wanted.

          ❝Bowling?❞ 

      [ He knew it was one of those earth games, but he never recalled          ever playing it or knowing how. He’d have to glance at a manual.          Twelve allowed her to lead him along. As long as she was having          fun then. It wasn’t a lot of times he spent time doing human          things. ]

"Yes! Bowling! You know, with pins and balls and stuff!"

Clara looked back at him and sent him a cheery grin, before turning in and pulling into the bowling alley, "...Will you pay for an alley?"

"I…I’d  like to think that you wouldn’t. But I just don’t know Clara."

"You’d have to prove to me that none of it meant anything."

"I don't know how to prove it."

"But... If you tell me how... I'd do anything."

            ❝Oi! I get how ‘ou’re drunk,                      but whatever for, Clara?❞ 

           [ He released his locked legs, letting Clara tug him along               with a clear look of: I don’t want to be here. ]

                                   ❝Where are we going?❞

"Am I not allowed to have fun sometimes?"

She could have easily been drunk simply because she'd been out having fun, but of course, it was nothing quite that simple.

She started to drag him away the moment he allowed her to, a cheerful grin reappearing on her face.

"We're going bowling, of course."

He glanced at her amused face and frowned. That was the complete opposite way in which she was supposed to react, and he pressed his lips together in an attempt to appear more menacing.

"I’m being serious. I will do it."

Another idea came to her, and a slight smirk appeared on her face. She completely changed her demeanour and raised her eyes at him, keeping an amused expression on her face.

"Oh really? So, do you think I've been a naughty girl, then?"

Her aim was to fluster him. She just hoped it would as easy as it was to fluster his past self.

stolen time│pleasedontxchange

"You and I can see that, yes. But they don’t see it," the Doctor said softly. He didn’t want her to be thinking that he was working alongside them. He would never work with creatures like these. The only reason that he was doing as they asked was so that he could help them. "You sure didn’t seem to think that a minute ago," he mumbled.

Seeing her curl in on the girl more, he frowned. She wasn’t going to hand her over like he had hoped that she would. “Why do you have so little faith in me?” Didn’t she understand that they needed him and Lily? They wouldn’t kill her.

"I have more power over the situation than you realize Clara," he said softly so that it wouldn’t hear. He hoped that would make her realize that he had a plan, that it would work. And that plan was going to have to be acted on sooner than he thought.

"Now Time Lord," the thing repeated, an almost annoyed tone to its voice.

He sighed and slipped a hand in his jacket, taking out the syringe. Lily was peeking over at him and he saw her eyes widen. She could see into his mind, she would know what he was going to do. “Da, no!”

Clara continued to shake her head softly, "If you have power over the situation just tell them that she's fine. Tell them that she's healthy and that she doesn't need any tests. Just don't let them take her. Please. You know that I can't trust them."

Hearing Lily's terrified voice, Clara's head snapped up and she looked over at him, and especially at the syringe in his hand. It couldn't be for what she thought it was. He would never do that. He... He loved her, didn't he?

"Doctor," she spoke softly, staring at him with wide, fearful eyes, "What is that for?"

"I don’t believe you."

"Do you think I'd lie about this?"