i’ve got idiot pussy disorder

dumb gay stupid syndrome

hornyitis

their shirts say wiggles but their eyes say help

when you’re in a group project and you’re the only one doing work

you know what really fucking gets my cookies frosted sometimes??? i’ll be on the goddamn blue website scrolling along and suddenly come across a picture like this and i actually stop scrolling and go out of my way to share a picture of a man with a sly grin holding a fucking pineapple with a bunch of people who choose to look at what i put on my blog. people expect this from me. i hold the power to grace a plethora of people’s eyes with this picture. almost 20 thousand other people have looked at this and subconsciously decided that this represents the type of image that they want to share with others with no context. look at this man

4 years later and i have discovered a RARE FUCKING PINEAPPLE MAN!!!

sip away, you enigmatic monster. you know what you have done. to me. to all of us. my cookies have been frosted long enough, you have placed the tray in the oven and left them to burn. those all-knowing eyes will watch the whole world burn. and all he will do is sip. and we will never stop him. he is too powerful. hypnotic. timeless.

When I was like, 9 years old I thought sponfebob was attractive and sexy and I said I wanted to marry him and my dad frowned really hard af me and said ‘don’t say that’ then he got up and went to his room and shut the door

did he ever come out

Hey fellas lemmeget uhhhhhh self promotion follow me on twitter I’m funnier there ANYWAY see you on the other side

Please follow me on Twitter I’m more fun there

tiktok makers on my porch dressed as catgirls: *making ahegao faces and moaning loudly* me: *runs out with a shotgun and shoots up at the air as a warning shot* GIT OUTTA HEARE YA DAMN TIKTOKERS! GIT! tiktok catgirls: *get on all fours and run like deer into the woods*

peekaboo

mood

and theyre dating and theyre very open abt their bdsm practices

*doing a tarot card reading* uh oh… this guy has a sword… better watch out for that…

hey

guess what

you’re so close to surviving 2018

you can make it

i’m so proud that you’re still here

keep going buddy

i love you

the world hasn’t killed us yet and it’s gonna regret that

this is honestly the most uplifting and hopeful thing i have read regarding my continued existence.

the dawn approaches on this cursed day

and with it rises, o’er the towering peaks  

this big meaty fuck