Reblog to have something good happen at 1:42 tomorrow

My entire world has been shattered by the realization that Garfield is an entirely plausible warrior cats name. A gar is a fairly common species of fish, and the cats of course know what a field is. This knowledge is a great burden.

An important detail that I feel shouldn’t be ignored: Garfield would only be the name of a warrior, elder, or medicine cat. Other ranks/ages have assigned suffixes, meaning Garfield would also, at some point, hold the names:

Garkit,

Garpaw,

and, if fortune favors the cat in question,

Garstar

@cloudbatcave

thanks! I want to burn this from my memory and the earth in general

Garfield, the sibling to Mountaindew and Smokeweed.

If you’re unsure how to pet a cat (i.e., maybe you didn’t have cats around growing up), it can be helpful to bear in mind that petting is a grooming activity. Grooming each other is how cats bond. Of course, each cat will have individual preferences, but the fact that it’s a grooming thing gives you two basic places to start:

Also, if you’re unsure of how to approach, try extending your hand with the palm up and the fingers relaxed for the cat to sniff. It’s the cat equivalent of a handshake - cats sniff each other to see where they’ve been, and for humans, it’s the hands that carry our scent history, since we touch everything constantly.

It’s kind of amazing watching all the folks who didn’t know that petting is a grooming behaviour come to the realisation that cats lick you because they want to pet you back.

Another thing you can do with skittish cats is offer your *closed fist*. A cat that is shy of an open hand that can grab may approach a closed hand that they don’t perceive as trying to grab them. (Needless to say, don’t actually grab them, please.) They bonk against your hands (and your head, if they are at head level) the same way they bonk against one another’s heads. It’s a friendly greeting that often ends in friendly cats turning and licking each others shoulders, necks, and ears a few times. They scent mark by rubbing their faces on things. Their cheek glands produce a pleasant-smelling (to them, we can’t smell it) pheromone that projects friendship and reassurance. When they scent mark you like this, it is a friendly gesture. So with this in mind, try letting the cat bump your fist, then gently rub the fist past the side of their face as they rub their face against your fist. Think of your fist like a cat’s head, and you are scent marking them back. You are sharing a friendly gesture. A worried cat may warm up after a few passes of this, and you may be able to pet the neck and back of the head. The under-chin/throat area can be a little dicey. They don’t casually kiss each other there.very often and it can make them feel vulnerable. Rolling over to show the tummy does not always mean the same thing it means for dogs. Unless you know the cat, be very careful touching the tummy. It might not be an invitation. It might be a readiness posture. Digression: cats don’t show submission by rolling. Rolling is a defensive maneuver that prepares them for possible combat with other cats by putting their most powerful weapons – their teeth and back claws – into play simultaneously. They fight other cats by hugging with the front legs, biting anything they can reach, and kicking with the incredibly strong hind legs. It is an advantageous position for fighting/play fighting, lets them see all around them AND above, where humans usually approach them from, and it keeps them from getting pinned on their bellies, unable to retaliate. If they need to, they can flip and run away easily because cats are FAST. So yeah, some cats love tummy stuff. Some hate it and just want you to admire from afar. A gentle hand placed on their tummy should tell you whether they want actual pets there or not. If they stretch or open up their body language, that’s good. If they tense or “sit up” to look at your hand, that’s not good. Stop petting and go back to the head. Obviously if they grab your hand and rabbit-kick and bite, then you should not pet them there. Some cats have a hair trigger. Sorry about that.

You can also pet them without moving your hand, just hold it out and let them rub against it. This will give you a good idea of where they like to be touched and how hard and for how long. Very shy cats, once they realize you are willing to pet them without grabbing, may really come to enjoy approaching you. We have a cat like this. If you let him see you respect him by not over-petting, he will rub against your hands and legs for a long time. The moral is that cats are not inconsistent jerks, it’s just that we misinterpret their body language. It’s also that we do not respect their boundaries when they present them, because we, as humans, want to be allowed to pet all soft things, and, somewhat spoiled by dogs, who love it nearly unconditionally, we unreasonably expect it of cats, a very very different animal. If you want a cat to come back for more, don’t push yourself on them. They will remember you are a Cool Human and will come back for more.

(Also, speak softly.  Cats usually really hate loud people.)

Two other things to consider with all of this: blinking and body position. If you offer your finger or hand, the cat will look up into your face as they sniff. Blink, slowly, and do not stare. This communicates a lack of aggressive intent. It also helps if you break your body plane backward; that is, lean back a little. If you are leaning backwards and not staring, you’re not about to pounce. I spend the first five minutes of an exam leaning against the wall and looking bored. It helps.

People who are excited to see a cat tend to lean forward, make eye contact and (as noted above) raise their voices, and then the cat thinks they’re in trouble. This is why cats are attracted to the people in the room who “don’t like cats;” they’re the ones communicating the least possibility of conflict.

Source.  Source.  Source.  Source.  Source.

Source.  Source.  Source.  Source.  Source.

people throw around the expression “mind blown” a lot…but seriously. mind. blown.

This makes me want to learn how to herd sheep.

well that’s one way to get the sheep their exercise.

jesus fucking christ

Like, I knew shepherding was a boring job

but these guys really had nothing better to do

Whenever I come across a trainee in customer service (like a cashier, or a sales rep), there is usually a senior/experienced employee with them doing the training and they always apologise for the trainee. “Sorry, they’re learning.” And I always respond with, “That’s good! We all have to learn.”

Even when I got a new phone and had to wait five hours for them to process the purchase (it was on a contract so there were a lot of forms and regulatory steps to finalise), when the trainee went to the back and I was alone with the store manager, I made a point in how impressed I was with the trainee’s performance. The relief on her face was prudent and they were extremely grateful for my patience.

We don’t discourage children from learning. We don’t lambast them when they can’t perform a task that an experienced person can do. Humans aren’t born with the inherent ability to work a credit card facility. We are born to learn and develop skills that help ourselves and each other.

The only decent thing we can do is be patient and encourage each other to become the best at what we do.

This is so important

when u scratch a cat’s chin and they lift their head up reblog if u agree

when u scratch a cat’s cheek and they lean their head into ur hand reblog if u agree

when u put your hand in front of your cat’s face and they gently headbut u reblog if u agree

when ur cat runs just a lil bit faster to get to u reblog if u agree

cats reblog if u agree

google just made me so emo

oh my god I can’t stop crying

From a strictly marketing standpoint. This is the best ad of all time. Like…well fucking done Google.

three internet trends i will (regrettably) probably never grow out of:

• typing in a cresCENDO TO EXPRESS EXCITEMENT • …………..unnecessarily……. long……….. ellipsis’ • puttinfh a typo in eveyr other word to shwo u dont really give a fukc but u actually do

personally I enjoy Random Capitalisation to show things are Very Important

stating something reblog if you agree

dude this isn’t even a collection of memes, this is a demonstration of internet grammar… anyone who says that when you type and communicate on the internet you lose too much inflection to get the real meaning just doesn’t understand internet syntax. the evolution of language in action.

the Rosetta Stone of the twenty first century

Also :) doing :) this :) to express :) bottled :) pain :)

or,,,,,using commas,,,,,, for elipsis’ ,,,, bc,,, it sounds better,,, in your head,,,, than periods,,,,,,,

pu t ting sp a ces in your wor ds at r and om time s because w hat the fu ck

Is it just me, or did anyone else read all of these with different tones of voice, volume, and inflection?

Don’t forget the B I G S P A C E S F O R E M P H A S I S

👏or👏putting👏hand👏claps👏 between👏words👏to👏show👏 importance👏

Not to mention these keyboard slams like dnskjzisbgeidbheieiee because you don’t know how to express your emotions akabsiskneishebr

THE ROSETTA STONE OF THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY

SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE

 The “Save Net Neutrality” bill was just introduced to Congress. You know what this means? WE HAVE THE BIGGEST CHANCE TO GET OUR INTERNET BACK.

We can only have a chance if you contact your reps NOW and SUPPORT THE BILL. The Bill has been assigned to the House Energy & Commerce Committee.

Here is the link to the bill: https://www.congress.gov/bill/115th-congress/house-bill/4585

Check these images to see if your GOP MoC or Dem MoC is a member:

magic cat

blessed post

I FUCKING HATE THUIS WEBSITE DELETE THIS FUCKING WEBSITE

Didn’t even unmute and I died

THAT SCARED THE FUCKING LIFE OUT OF ME FFS MY HEART’S RACING

IN THE FIFTH GIF HE PATS THE CUPS WITH HIS LITTLE PAWS TO MAKE SURE IT’S IN. BRB, DYING.

ARE YOU KIDDING? LOOK AT THE 7TH GIF HOW HE JUST HANDS THE CUPS TO THE PERSON AND IS LIKE, “HERE HUMAN, YOUR FEEBLE TASK FOR ME IS COMPLETE. NOW LEAVE US BE.”

THEY’RE SO CUTE, OMG. I CAN’T.

THE GREATEST THING ON THE INTERNET SINCE THE LAST TIME OTTERS WERE IN A THING ON THE INTERNET.

Reblogging purely for the last one

@jupiterjames

Adam Ellis is either a genius horror storyteller or in grave, grave danger.