I like many have never met a clear path, My uncertainty fogs the mirror I look in Clouding my judgment So I sit idle and twitch, Neuromuscular movements compelling me naturally There is no rhythm or timed measured I just like seeing my body move silently- Isolated Because if no one sees, No one speaks So in a ceramic tub my body is free From the eyes of foolish air heads From the vultures and the hunters In these moments of sobriety I feel high on dissociation I am idle and careless Wonderless And no longer curious I don't hate the idea of love, I'm sure it's real It's not that I feel undeserving, But it feels wrong to think a souls would wander here And the hands of many men has filled holes cut by myself, yet this time I do feel the necessity of venturing out And I wonder if now too, a part of me has died Like when I was 19 and came to my senses When I realized the good are few and the bad are many When I realized I no longer was a passenger to either side, But a by stander who treasures comfort over results And so a new page has turned, from here nothing is or will ever be the same