Source: tsukis
Alright, Alright.. what can I say... Well... a lot of things happened? Not really good things... Kinda almost became homeless. But I’m finally back and settled? I have my own place and my own internet so... Things are picking up a little bit... My mood was down big time for a long while but I’m slowly getting back into the hang of things. I’m kind of nervous coming back after all this time, but I really miss Abel and everything here.
pasakaprincas-blog reblogged
グランドクリームパフェ
Source: r.gnavi.co.jp
-- starter shout out!! please like this for a starter!
『☨;; ＲＡＶＥＮＯＵＳ 』:
He’ll Go Silent. To be quite honest, he hadn’t thought of THOSE things, though he intended to be with Abel forever. He’d mapped out his ENTIRE future with them, though starting a family with him was left OMITTED. Eventually, they’d BOTH be wanting to have children that neither of them could provide due to what they lack. In Vanitas’ case, it was maternal instincts while in Abel’s, a woman’s parts. A slight flush would paint his cheek as he was a bit SURPRISED that Abel wanted to go THAT far with him. To bind himself to him through such a TRIVIAL tradition, but it meant SO MUCH. Still, it left shards of sadness in his heart. To think his partner was so upset over this. It made him a bit UNEASY in the same instance. He’ll watch as those PETITE shoulders quake, the male broken by his own thoughts of USELESSNESS. Couldn’t he see that Vanitas was unbothered ? They’d figure something out in the end. ❝ We won’t need to start a family to be happy. We have each other. That’s enough for me. ❞
≲ ♔ ≳ ❝But for how long? How long will I be enough?❞ How long before you tire of me? Just the thought alone made his heart ache. He couldn’t stand it, but he wouldn’t lie if he hadn't thought that perhaps Vanitas would walk out on him someday and never come back. Honestly, he had no doubt about it either. Was he even a good significant other? Had he been making Vanitas just as happy as he was making him? Even if he said so, even if he made the youth believe he was content with how they are, it still didn’t change the fact that he felt incapable. As if he didn’t deserve this happiness despite the recent hardships. With his hand still on his face, he hunched over just a tad, shaking his head just the slightest. Feeling the tears well up at the edge of his eyes threatening to fall, he wouldn’t them fall now. Usually he had these kinds of thoughts to himself in private, but it was already too late.
『☨;; ＲＡＶＥＮＯＵＳ 』:
❝ What Does GenderHave to do with any of this ? Do you think it would have been better if you were a woman && we were in a PERFECTLY normal heterosexual relationship ? Do you think your mother would have accepted you for loving me, if you were a woman ? In all honesty, she probably would have because it would have been ACCEPTABLE in her eyes. But if she can’t accept you as you are now, a PERFECTLY NORMAL human being who chose to love someone of the same sex, then you shouldn’t worry about her. A true loving mother would have ACCEPTED you, no matter who you chose to love, whether it be a man or a woman. Her views on you shouldn’t have changed. In the end, you know where you stand with her. She’s forgotten the TRUTH behind love. That love has no gender … I hope she realizes what she’s done wrong. && that She doesn’t deserve a son like you. ❞
≲ ♔ ≳ ❝It’s not all because of that that, Vanitas.❞ Though, it did play a big part of it. Why his thoughts were becoming so spiral. And even though the raven’s words were more than exactly what he felt he needed to hear, he couldn’t help but still be bothered by the things she said. He knew, more than anything that at this point his love for the other was far beyond the point of no return. Abel had no intention to ever give up on those feelings either, grasping onto them and holding them so tight so they would never leave him. Even so. ❝What about things like getting married or having a family? Obviously not now, but in the future. I mean, yes, same-sex marriage is legal here, but a family? I can’t provide you with that.❞ Truth be told, he could see Vanitas possibly not even wanting to be a father, but how would he know? He didn’t, and that insanely bothered him. It made him feel weak, which didn’t help that his emotions were starting to get the better of him. Using a hand to cover his eyes all he could think was I’m not gonna cry, over and over. Although even he could hear his voice cracking. ❝What good even am I?❞
pasakaprincas-blog reblogged
@whoknowsmika3: 皆さん誕生日コメントありがとうございます〜！久々に描いたら誰か分からなくなったので急遽赤く目を塗りましたー
Yamamori Mika: I’d like to thank everyone who greeted him a happy birthday~! I haven’t drawn in quite some time so I hurriedly colored over the red eyes.
pasakaprincas-blog reblogged
「???」
“Well, not everyone is that honest I can’t lie to ya ‘bout that. But there’s this feelin’ ya get when they’re ‘round sometimes which gives it away. Do ya think yer friends don’t like ya or somethin’? Seems kinda harsh to yerself.”
≲ ♔ ≳ ❝I suppose... It’s nothing like that. It’s more? I just thought that maybe if I was a girl, I wouldn’t worry my mum so much. Start a family she’d be proud of ‘r something. Not saying that I’m poof or nothin’ it’s just I haven’t been interested in women lately so-- ah, bloody hell. Forget I said a thing.❞
pasakaprincas-blog reblogged
「???」
“… Hmm, well I’d like to think that people are just honest a lotta the time. If they ain’t like ya, doubt they’d stick ‘round ya. So if they’re in yer life ‘n smilin’, I’d take it as they enjoy yer company.”
≲ ♔ ≳ And if the person in question was your own family? He didn’t ask this, there was no reason to get a stranger involved. ❝...I guess I never really thought of it that way. But is it really okay to be that trusting? Not everyone can be so honest.❞
pasakaprincas-blog reblogged
「???」
“Sure everyone’s wondered somethin’ like that before. Why though? What’s botherin’ ya?”
≲ ♔ ≳ ❝I-- I don’t know. I guess I was just kind of thinking that people around me would be happier if I was.. not me?❞
『☨;; ＲＡＶＥＮＯＵＳ 』:
❝ Why Do You Wonder that ? ❞ He likes you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
≲ ♔ ≳ ❝Maybe then I wouldn’t have upset so many people. And maybe then I would be able to do more for you...❞
≲ ♔ ≳ ❝I’m beginning to wonder if things would have been better if I had been born a girl from the start.❞
pasakaprincas-blog reblogged
RP scenario ask meme~
‘kay, I’m making up a new ask meme, because this RP Scenario Generator is waaaay too much fun.
Drop a ☆ in my ask, and I’ll put your muse’s name and mine in the generator and write a response based on the prompt it gives me.
Like so:
“I can’t lose you. Because if I ever did, I’d have lost my best friend, my soul mate, my smile, my laugh, my e v e r y t h i n g.”
" ... " He'll rub his arm AWKWARDLY, amberesque irises shifting in the opposite direction. Did he feel GUILTY ? For falling in love with Abel ? For causing Abel to fall in love with HIM ? It WAS his fault after all. These feelings -- If he would have kept them caged inside, Abel would HAVE his family. They abandoned Abel.. Because of him. " I... I'm sorry. " // CRYING
≲ ♔ ≳ ❝DON’T! – Don’t… say that you’re sorry.❞ He pleaded with a frail voice. Abel would have taken silence over a sorry. What was he even apologizing for? ‘Sorry that you lost your family?’ Or was it, ‘sorry for making you fall in love with me?’ He didn’t need it. That sorry would hurt him more than anything, more than even how his mother had treated him for leaving her.
Leaving her… for something more important. More important than the woman who gave birth to him? At the time, the magnitude of the situation had yet dawned on him. Just how dear the raven was to him to have left his family so easily, why he wasn’t feeling anything tremendously ill towards it. Love was truly a terrifying emotion, and now was not the time for the youth to dwell on such things when the object of said affections was a mere few feet away from him. Lifting his gaze, he feared that keeping his head down would only threaten those tears he had been trying to hard to hold back to fall even more so.
❝I left after that. I… chose to come back.❞He chose Vanitas over his own family, or at the very least, his mother. He wanted him to understand that. He thought he would be alone, but he wasn’t, that alone was allowing him to continue on.