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MEDIOCHRE

@med-iochre / med-iochre.tumblr.com

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med-iochre

trigger warning

I’m scared

I’m so sick of being scared

I’m scared of being worthless and pointless and pathetic and greedy and big

I’m scared of the richness of food  and I’m scared of that rush of cold guilt that comes after eating ‘more than I need’

I’m scared of becoming so free that it spirals out of control and I just eat and eat and eat

More than anything I’m so fucking scared that I’m going to be scared for the rest of my life

Please can someone just take all this fear away? I can’t get rid of this disease on my own please someone invent a drug that does it for me

:( I remember how this felt.... petrifying. Now I’m sitting in my bed looking over Paris and I’ve eaten nearly a whole block of chocolate listening to Van Morrison

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reblogged
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violetcake

how the fuck is 5 doritos a serving like if you can eat 5 doritos then put down the bag and be satisfied we are very different people  

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Anonymous asked:

how to eat and not to feel like gross SHIT when I slept in really late and still can't exercise but feel like a slow and flabby trashbag???

learn to love yourself. it takes years. you decide that you love everything about yourself and you love yourself enough to treat yourself gently. you learn to let go of hatred and guilt and harshness because you don’t want to be like that anymore and you don’t want your world to be like that anymore.

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  • I know I say this a lot but I’m gonna have to report once again that I’m happier than I ever thought I could be
  • I’m so in control of my thoughts and emotions, I feel invincible
  • food is becoming less and less a part of my life. I’m finally free to live my life and I’ve gotten deeply involved in art again (I feel like I belong here?). I’m disappointed that I gave up on getting into an art academy in Italy, but it’s never too late if I decide that’s what I want after Paris
  • giving up on the 80/10/10 way of eating was a very good decision
  • I’ve discovered and rediscovered a lot of bands that I’m falling in love with
  • I’m in the process of getting rid of all the clothes I don’t wear/love, which is like 70% of them, and it feels really good
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my everyday tumblr is now more of an art blog and I love it and won’t be using this one much anymore. I’ll also be putting all my daily snaps from Paris on there.

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