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NotSoLostAfterAll

@not-so-lost-after-all / not-so-lost-after-all.tumblr.com

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The time has come since I have collected enough of my longer fanfics. Here are my favorite pieces of my writing about certain tragic vampire gremlin called Astarion:

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luinquesse

Back to the shadows

Bg3 won this months fandom drawing, and I felt like some angst~

It wasn't fancy, this place of his. Just an old dark attic. There was a stash full of gold because he wasn't cheap (not anymore) when accepting a job. A closet full of his favorite clothes.

A bed where he sleeps alone except when he occasionaly shares it with a cat. It's not like nobody hasn't tried - this month it was innkeeper's young daughter dreaming about being ravished by a vampire and one week later one of the spawns who escaped from the Underdark, a man drown in loneliness. Astarion certainly wasn't ready to indulge any of them.

There's also a small window and Astarion is glad for that. He loves watching sunshine coming through it. More that once he let the rays of sun burning his skin and only let go when he started shaking in pain. It... it doesn't matter because he will heal in a few moments. He's able to withstand the pain longer each time he does it and he finds strange beauty in the act. Still, he's glad there's nobody here to witness his shame.

He knows, things are much better now. Everything's better than Cazador who was hell-bent to show him how little a life is worth when everything else is gone. That doesn't mean this stings any less...

He turns to the door when he hears quiet steps in the corridor. Silver envelope appears under the door - an invitation perhaps?

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Okay it's been enough time now and I have to get this off my chest

I hate

Astarions

Starter armor.

His default outfit? I hate it. It's so unflattering on him. The shape is terrible, the colors don't suit him, the patterns are gaudy, I am 0% into it. And I mean his day clothes you meet him in, not his camp outfit.

Hate it. Ugly. 0/10 if that's the clothing he was buried in then I say it's evidence that no one liked him when he was alive

I said what I said and I stand by it

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vixstarria

Saaaame! I dislike the brown epilogue doublet as well - it screams 'disney prince' to me.

I don't know whether this is intended to apply to Faerun, but purple was originally a highly expensive pigment to produce, and was associated with wealth an opulence - which could be a tie-in to the gaudiness of Astarion's default outfit.

If it is intentional, it's quite funny, because when you pull Gale 'Quiet Luxury' Dekarios out of a rock, he's clad head to toe in purple. Hell, even his jammies are purple.

No wonder Astarion is vexed by him.

It's the basics of colour study. Purple doesn't suit pale people. Period. He needs to wear black or red. I like his epilogue suit better but the best one for him is Wyll's starter suit (because it's red and black).

You know... It's sad that Astarion's iconic kisses are from his ascended version and his iconic/best outfit belong to ascend Astarion as well. Good thing you can dress him in anything you like because he loves finer things in life despite what the description of his spawn epilogue outfit implies.

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raviolirash

leg move this leg move that look at this aisdhajhfbsjhbdf

This is btw freecam after he proposes the night of passion in act 3. He's so happy.

Yesterday someone mentioned that Astarion probably checked if his grave is still even there earlier that day. The grave is indeed there but neglected, no family members buried around. And then there is Tav who cared, who laid a flower on his grave. No wonder his dead heart swells with love in that moment. Gods, that scene makes me emotional even months later.

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raviolirash

I promised myself no more negative posts this week but every animation swap esp for kisses I've seen just looks like the one with the swapped animations is just a lifeless meat puppet. "This borrowed kissing animation looks so good on [character]" no it doesn't. Give it back to the one it belongs to. It looks like a parasite is controlling the character.

This.

I feel like the romance scenes and kissing animations are completely rooted in their characterisation and story, and so when they're swapped, it honestly looks a bit shit.

Plus, it feels a slightly insulting to the original character? Sometimes? All the time

This is about Astarion and using Gale's And Wyll's kisses, right? It's pretty to look at but I understand the objections. However, the signature Astarion kisses are the ascended ones. The "signature" spawn kiss is sweet but rather bland because of the bad angle. So yeah, I don't blame people having fun. There are far less tasteful things to see on Astarion tag after all.

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Astarion isn't yknow, a /good/ person

Like, at all

He's a fun little guy tho

I mean just look at his hair. Delightful. And his shivering, thrice-returned animal shelter chihuahua energy? Effervescent

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vrumblr

Astarion is the video game equivalent of that cat at the shelter that’s so beautiful he makes everyone coo and sigh, but then when you get close he hisses, spits and growls. You know why. It’s because he’s been hurt. He’s terrified. There’s a certain kind of person who loves this kind of cat, who wants to adopt this cat despite the potential danger, who wants to take him home and teach him how to love, how to be soft, remind him that not everyone will give him fear and pain.

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memoiandy

Sparkles and memories

Astarion x fTav fanfic

(Note: I posted this as a part of another thread and the fic was bigger than I anticipated. I am posting here as my own separate post. Mostly for myself but whoever else reads it, please enjoy!

This oneshot is my HC version of the poly convo with Astarion. I wish Tav could politelly decline Halsin and then talk with Astarion about it. The scene starts after Astarion says he'd be fine with Tav sexing Halsin up. Which my Tav is defo not gonna do...)

She frowns, taking a small step back. It stings a bit, the thought Astarion would be fine if she shared her body with the druid. But then she noticed that curve of his pretty mouth, that signature fake smile she recognizes now.

"Why would I do that?" She keeps her voice low but the slight irritation comes through anyway.

He hears it, of course he does. He's great at reading people. His next words are more genuine. "Well... it's not like I have much to offer at the moment. And with my past... my generous amount of so called lovers... It's not like I can stop you from having a good time."

The more he talks, the more vulnerable look creeps into his face. Her chest tightens, the familiar ache when she sees him like this - strugling with the shadows of his past, the pain seeping through.

She moves closer to Astarion, watching his reaction. There is tension in the air, something she didn't want at all. She meant to tell him about the conversation with Halsin as a joke. She thought it was funny! How could she even think about being with someone other than her vampire?! Ridiculous!

"This... us, we want this to be real, no?" She touches her heart and then his heart in an elven fashion. She leaves her hand on his chest as if seeking for his heartbeat.

He nods, eyes uncertain where this is going. He's so endearing like this, her sweet, lovable rogue. To confirm his gesture, Astarion closes his bigger hand on top of hers and caresses it carefuly.

"I do, you know I do. I just wish I could offer you more. I wish... I could erase all the memories of those countless meaningless bodies and hands and mouths... "

She stops him by putting a gentle hand on his cheek. "Then lets create new memories." She tries to make him feel all the care and adoration she feels for this silly, frustrating, amazing man. And love, something she is still too afraid to tell him. It feels too big to share. She keeps it close to her hearth as something sweet and precious.

She stands on her toes and puts a light kiss on one of his chees, the one with that small beauty mark. "I have such a good time with you, whatever we're doing," she whispers and it sounds like a secret shared just between the two of them.

She kisses the top of his nose playfully. "You reading one of your adventure books with Drizzt aloud or teaching me how to lockpick." She kisses the corner of his mouth and feels his arm sneaking around her waist and pulling her closer. She gasps a little, she always does and it makes him hum hapilly.

"There is nowhere I'd rather be. I have no desire to explore what Halsin has to offer as a lover. Or any of the others. I am yours as long as you'll have me," she finishes and hates how her face and neck flush with pink. She is 137 years old and being with this damned vampire makes her blush...

But it makes him smile and relax. He crooks his eyebrows in that charming way of his. "And I thought I am the one with a silver toungue."

She chuckes and puts her arms around his neck. This feels good and right and the tension is gone and forgotten. "Well... I had a good teacher."

He feigns shock. "Another suitor! Do I know him?"

"You might. He's very charming. Roguish and witty. Very funny. Very brave. Handsome as hell," she sighs dreamily.

Astarion tuts and tightens his arms around her. "Do I have to kill him as well, Sparkles? I planned on getting rid of the big druid already. You know I killed a bear before..."

This time she kisses his lips because you can't be this close to Astarion and not kiss him. He kisses her back more fiercely, cupping the back of her head in his hand and making her bow back a bit. Greedy man.

It's been a while since they kissed like this. She makes quiet needy noises and feels her magic spike up and fine sparkles fly in the air. They kiss his skin and it feels las if he's touched by sunlight.

She pulls away before the magic can hurt him.

"How is that for a new memory?" She bumps her nose into his gently. She loves his nose. She started to love everything about this man.

"Perfect." His eyes are still closed and he breathes her in. His anchor, his friend, his confidant. She smells like home. "You're perfect, Sparkles."

She laughs quietly, a small happy sound. Then she straightens up and pulls back. "Now where were we? You won't believe the conversation I just had with Halsin!"

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I need to say this, because I'm getting sick of people calling him shallow.

Spawn Astarion does not care what you look like, he even says it in game! He just wants someone to love him for who he is! It doesn't matter if you're plus sized, or thin. If you truly care for him, and his freedom he will love you.

He doesn't like the mind flayer ending, because you're giving up your freedom of your own body. No matter what he wants freedom and protection for both of you. He doesn't want to see you lose yourself, and go through the same horrible transformation he had.

He also doesn't want to have sex with strangers anymore which - judging by mind flayer Karlach in the epilogue - is exactly what Tav Is becoming.

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feykrorovaan

I wish Astarion had dialogue when Halsin approaches you and you tell him no. Even if it was still the same exact mocking "Ha! I was wondering when he was going to make his move." thing he says. Even though I rejected Halsin, I still want to run to Astarion and say "You will NOT guess what just happened." and tell him that I told him no,that Astarion is the only one for me.

Missed opportunity - it starting as a funny moment and turning into a bonding scene.

We don't have this but we have Astarion being fine when you tell him you're doing it because he wouldn't fuck you. We have Astarion suddenly being all confident you would not dump him for Halsin specifically because blah blah Halsin is experienced like that makes Halsin less serious threat. I'm looking at freeminded Shadowheart where fragility is suddenly an issue (not the vampirism) or Wyll and Astarion sighing over each other which would make Wyll more interesting /eyeroll

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memoiandy

Yes! Such a missed opportunity! They wanted to please a fraction of the audience (we know the poly option is not really that popular, peeps just talk about it a lot), and forgot this could be such a sweet bonding moment! I want to be able to tell Astarion "You silly man! You're the only one I want!" and see his reaction. He would puff up and say something like "Well, of course I am!". But secretly he'd be confused and flustered and in the end, he'd like it.

"Well, of course I am!" He ends his performance with a hand gesture that is both charming and entertaining.

"May I kiss you?" She inclines her head playfully.

"If you must," he acts like a king granting an audience.

Astarion cups her cheek as she leans in and then she's biting his lower lip a little, teasing him. He grunts into the kiss and she senses his smile.

Their foreheads touch and they both savour the moment with closed eyes for a few seconds.

"I honestly wouldn't hold it against you, you know. I just wonder when you'll realize that all I can offer are my words and find someone better, darling."

"What if I never will? Is that such a scary prospect?"

Astarion chuckles. "To be honest, it is... But whatever my flaws are, you can't say I'm not up for a challenge."

She kisses the corner of his mouth and takes a few steps back, returning to the harsh reality.

@lirotation Maybe a little bit of fluff would make you feel better 😉

Awwww, that was exactly what I meant!

I actually have my own HC version of this scene that is a bit less fluffy. My Tav digs deeper into his motivation of seemingly being okay with sharing her:

She frowns, taking a small step back. It stings a bit, the thought Astarion would be fine if she shared her body with the druid. But then she noticed that curve of his pretty mouth, that signature fake smile she recognizes now.

"Why would I do that?" She keeps her voice low but the slight irritation comes through anyway.

He hears it, of course he does. He's great at reading people. His next words are more genuine. "Well... it's not like I have much to offer at the moment. And with my past... my generous amount of so called lovers... It's not like I can stop you from having a good time."

The more he talks, the more vulnerable look creeps into his face. Her chest tightens, the familiar ache when she sees him like this - strugling with the shadows of his past, the pain seeping through.

She moves closer to Astarion, watching his reaction. There is tension in the air, something she didn't want at all. She meant to tell him about the conversation with Halsin as a joke. She thought it was funny! How could she even think about being with someone other than her vampire?! Ridiculous!

"This... us, we want this to be real, no?" She touches her heart and then his heart in an elven fashion. She leaves her hand on his chest as if seeking for his heartbeat.

He nods, eyes uncertain where this is going. He's so endearing like this, her sweet, lovable rogue. To confirm his gesture, Astarion closes his bigger hand on top of hers and caresses it carefuly.

"I do, you know I do. I just wish I could offer you more. I wish... I could erase all the memories of those countless meaningless bodies and hands and mouths.. "

She stops him by putting a gentle hand on his cheek. "Then lets create new memories." She tries to make him feel all the care and adoration she feels for this silly, frustrating, amazing man. And love, something she is still too afraid to tell him. It feels too big to share. She keeps it close to her hearth as something sweet and precious.

She stands on her toes and puts a light kiss on one of his chees, the one with that small beauty mark. "I have such a good time with you, whatever we're doing," she whispers and it sounds like a secret shared just between the two of them.

She kisses the top of his nose playfully. "You reading one of your adventure books with Drizzt aloud or teaching me how to lockpick." She kisses the corner of his mouth and feels his arm sneaking around her waist and pulling her closer. She gasps a little, she always does and it makes him hum hapilly.

"There is nowhere I'd rather be. I have no desire to explore what Halsin has to offer as a lover. Or any of the others. I am yours as long as you'll have me," she finishes and hates how her face and neck flush with pink. She is 137 years old and being with this damned vampire makes her blush...

But it makes him smile and relax. He crooks his eyebrows in that charming way of his. "And I thought I am the one with a silver toungue."

She chuckes and puts her arms around his neck. This feels good and right and the tension is gone and forgotten. "Well... I had a good teacher."

He feigns shock. "Another suitor! Do I know him?"

"You might. He's very charming. Roguish and witty. Very funny. Very brave. Handsome as hell," she sighs dreamily.

Astarion tuts and tightens his arms around her. "Do I have to kill him as well, Sparkles? I planned on getting rid of the big druid already. You know I killed a bear before..."

This time she kisses his lips because you can't be this close to Astarion and not kiss him. He kisses her back more fiercely, cupping the back of her head in his hand and making her bow back a bit. Greedy man.

It's been a while since they kissed like this. She makes quiet needy noises and feels her magic spike up and fine sparkles fly in the air. She pulls away before the magic can hurt him.

"How is that for a new memory?" She bumps her nose into his gently. She loves his nose. She started to love everything about this man.

"Perfect." His eyes are still closed and he breathes her in. His anchor, his friend, his confidant. She smells like home. "You're perfect, Sparkles."

She laughs quietly, a small happy sound. Then she straightens up and pulls back. "Now where were we? You won't believe the conversation I just had with Halsin!"

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lirotation

As I worked on the commissions for AA X Ban, I thought about my own fan work and my spawn Astarion. My Astarion never got to wear anything too fancy - mostly just the Cloak of Dragomir, his squeaky leather doublet, and his linen shirt. (or naked, yes naked)

I suppose my Amaara hasn't been the most attentive girlfriend, has she?

Spawn Astarion X F!Tav, fluff =)

This was done a while ago and I was waiting for Brabbles to post her fic first. That's why in the "when you are old" comic, Astarion got to wear a silk shirt hahahaha.

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feykrorovaan

I wish Astarion had dialogue when Halsin approaches you and you tell him no. Even if it was still the same exact mocking "Ha! I was wondering when he was going to make his move." thing he says. Even though I rejected Halsin, I still want to run to Astarion and say "You will NOT guess what just happened." and tell him that I told him no,that Astarion is the only one for me.

Missed opportunity - it starting as a funny moment and turning into a bonding scene.

We don't have this but we have Astarion being fine when you tell him you're doing it because he wouldn't fuck you. We have Astarion suddenly being all confident you would not dump him for Halsin specifically because blah blah Halsin is experienced like that makes Halsin less serious threat. I'm looking at freeminded Shadowheart where fragility is suddenly an issue (not the vampirism) or Wyll and Astarion sighing over each other which would make Wyll more interesting /eyeroll

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memoiandy

Yes! Such a missed opportunity! They wanted to please a fraction of the audience (we know the poly option is not really that popular, peeps just talk about it a lot), and forgot this could be such a sweet bonding moment! I want to be able to tell Astarion "You silly man! You're the only one I want!" and see his reaction. He would puff up and say something like "Well, of course I am!". But secretly he'd be confused and flustered and in the end, he'd like it.

"Well, of course I am!" He ends his performance with a hand gesture that is both charming and entertaining.

"May I kiss you?" She inclines her head playfully.

"If you must," he acts like a king granting an audience.

Astarion cups her cheek as she leans in and then she's biting his lower lip a little, teasing him. He grunts into the kiss and she senses his smile.

Their foreheads touch and they both savour the moment with closed eyes for a few seconds.

"I honestly wouldn't hold it against you, you know. I just wonder when you'll realize that all I can offer are my words and find someone better, darling."

"What if I never will? Is that such a scary prospect?"

Astarion chuckles. "To be honest, it is... But whatever my flaws are, you can't say I'm not up for a challenge."

She kisses the corner of his mouth and takes a few steps back, returning to the harsh reality.

@lirotation Maybe a little bit of fluff would make you feel better 😉

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lirotation

Home is where the heart is, and my heart belongs to you.

2nd drawing of the past/present/future set. I am still struggling with the "Past" one.

I wasn't in the best mood recently, so to get into a happier mindset for this, I had to hug my cat for 30min. He wasn't too thrilled about it. I now understand that the mood you're in really affects what you can create. Being in a more positive state of mind allowed the happier energy to flow into this piece. Interestingly, upon finishing, the happier energy seem to reciprocate, elevating my own mood in a cyclical exchange.

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feykrorovaan

I wish Astarion had dialogue when Halsin approaches you and you tell him no. Even if it was still the same exact mocking "Ha! I was wondering when he was going to make his move." thing he says. Even though I rejected Halsin, I still want to run to Astarion and say "You will NOT guess what just happened." and tell him that I told him no,that Astarion is the only one for me.

Missed opportunity - it starting as a funny moment and turning into a bonding scene.

We don't have this but we have Astarion being fine when you tell him you're doing it because he wouldn't fuck you. We have Astarion suddenly being all confident you would not dump him for Halsin specifically because blah blah Halsin is experienced like that makes Halsin less serious threat. I'm looking at freeminded Shadowheart where fragility is suddenly an issue (not the vampirism) or Wyll and Astarion sighing over each other which would make Wyll more interesting /eyeroll

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bg-brainrot

Fuel for your Astarion daydreams:

his dexterous fingers playing absentmindedly along your hip, pausing only to squeeze you gently

his lips leaving an icy trail down your neck, pressing firmly against your quickening pulse

his fangs nipping gently at your shoulder as he pulls you closer, as if craving you more than your blood

his rich, red eyes catching yours from across a tavern, brightening imperceptibly at your attention

his voice, lowered to no more than a whisper in your ear, his tone teasing as he utters something naughty to you

his soft white curls brushing against your face as he leans closer to you, teasing you with a kiss that doesn't quite reach

his ears flushing pink as you unabashedly murmur words of love and longing

his nose burying into your hair as he takes in your familiar, now comforting scent

his laugh, rumbling through his body and into yours as you lay in each others' arms

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