the real question is, once you have changed your entire life for someone and he has done the same for you, once you've healed and found peace and happiness and finally felt whole again, at least mostly, once all that happens and you live with the man you've fallen head over heels for and she loves you back with equal intensity, and you are finally out, you're on the path towards the slow life both of you have yearned for since you were teenagers, and it gets taken away from you anyways, what do you do? what should you do? what happens? what happens to you? we all know what happens to her, everyone will know soon enough. what about you? where do you go from there? what do you do? what is there to do?
alternately. how would it feel to have been so close to making it out and know you very nearly had that quiet life? to know that if you had just listened, if you'd stayed home that day, if you'd taken the time to think things through, gone with someone, done something else, been more prepared, you could have lived? the two of you could grow old and grey together, in your picture-perfect house by the shore. but you had to go back, you had to try and make things right, to fix what was never your responsibility in the first place. you had to go back into the city that day. your fate was written by the time you were nine years old, but you could have changed it. you could have lived. and now just look what's happened. you die and you do it knowing that this wasn't the only option, but you also know this was the only option you could have chosen. it's not like you can do anything about it now, anyway.
