i have crazy garlic fingers from peeling and chopping garlic cloves yesterday this phenomenon is always fascinating to me because it reminds me that i, too, am made of meat, and therefore i am also susceptible to being seasoned

Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”

and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person”

and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.

god created man to be penetrated

i posted this with violence and the crucifixion in mind and you hussies are talking about anal

"this website uses cookies" fucking why. i wish we hadn't named it that, so cheap and unthreatening. a cookie can be anything from a single data point to actively tracking your usage throughout websites. and if you try to research it, you overwhelmingly get (ad-placed) cheery and chipper responses that "cookies are useful data tools that help websites to help you!"

one article suggests cookies allow for "more personalized websites." i do not want them to know how to personalize their website for me. what they really mean is "make this website better for advertisers." they are not going to turn the website a nice shade of my favorite color. they are going to put ads up they think i like. so it's not for me.

okay sure. it makes shopping easier! okay, great. spend money more! happy advertiser. but then why the fuck when you google how long cooked chicken good for are they skimming your data. why when you google can my dog eat tomatoes are they skimming your data. why does mixing bleach and vinegar bad? require someone skimming your data.

so now you slog through AI responses because sometimes the AI tells you no worries! cooked chicken can never go bad and all dogs go to heaven. something about this feels like being 13 before google was really-a-thing when you had to be kind of clever about how you used Ask Jeeves. what is even the point anymore. half of these sites are not written with human hands anymore. we are creating an infinite digital graveyard in order to give advertisers more space, more billboards.

you have to find the first reputable-looking site in a list of GORP.COM/HEALTH. and when you click the first thing it says is can i skim your data? and meanwhile yes bleach and vinegar bad, you've made chlorine gas.

and meanwhile! yes! the infinite digital graveyard. the internet turned into a true highway: devoid of life. endless paved monotony. the exit sign blinking - this website uses cookies.

Tumblr Code.

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

always reblog tumblr identification

good god this just crossed my dash in the year of our lord 2023

I LIKE YOUR SHOELACES??? IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2024??

Let’s take it to 4 million, folks!

almost there!

TO 4 MILLION!!!!!!!!!

THE ORIGINAL SHOELACES POST?? ON MY DASH IN 2024??

@highladyluck

Gods bless the post. :)

(Remembering with pleasure when I got to do this last year with an auditorium full of people at Finncon in Tampere.)

google help me

the thing is, stephen king is generally pretty good at creating complex, well-rounded characters, which makes it all the more jarring when one of those characters abruptly comes out with what i'll term a "kingism". i don't know how best to define a kingism other than "you'll know it when you see it". it's the voice of the author intruding on the voice of the character, and in this case the voice of the author has a bad sense of humour and is ravenously, inexplicably horny

random example of a kingism aka "he would not fucking say that"

this too is a kingism

one of the hallmarks of a kingism is that when a character is being Horny On Main (or In Maine), they can never do it in a normal way. they have to come up with a sequence of words that nobody has ever said before in the history of the english language. here's another example:

i'm starting a collection

I think I reblogged this once before but at least half of these are things my aunts and uncles quoted all the time, and not from king. These were simply big memes 50-60 years ago.

I know exactly how "veeery inderesting" is spoken because my mom and all of her siblings must say it every day without even thinking about it. Their generation also said "pulling your pudding" to mean masturbating. I definitely heard the nicotine line too.

So what I’m hearing is - and this might be the tumblr reading comprehension at play - is this is a similar experience to what it’ll be like to pick up the Locked Tomb series in about 40 years.

i don’t know about you guys but the main reason i am still on tumblr in 2024 is BECAUSE it is the most cloutless least influential social media app out there and that is the experience i am after. absolutely none of this will ever translate into significant attention or real success in my life and that is so beautiful.

You will not stay stuck in the same patterns forever. You are capable of change. It might be small and you may not be able to see the change day to day, but over time things will get better.

anytime a woman starts talking about the "bonds of sisterhood that inherently exist between all women" you just know they bullied the weird girls in high school

not to enforce gender roles but a computer should NOT fucking have apps okay. if I wanted an app I'd go on my phone my laptop is for Programs. I mean this.

I do not respect the grind. Go to bed

Always curious

this is actually a perfect addition. the hebrew in the tags there is a Jewish proverb/song, and it translates to “the whole world is a narrow bridge; the essential thing is not to fear at all.” the point is that, like. the whole world is scary, and that is exactly why you can’t live in fear of it. walk the bridge anyway.