Inspired by recent discussions of an Actual Play.

this is why i never got into dice based RP lol

I would have paid any amount of money to have been that poll clerk

gossip

ohhh fuck off. someone learned my summoning ritual again. ill be right back

I am just so deeply compelled by the concept of Vampires in a world where regular people can live for centuries and how that could make vampires’ lives easier and harder.

like it’s funny and convenient for Astarion that he wouldn’t have to lie about his age or try to cover up any personal anachronisms because he’s an elf

but I’ve also been thinking about a tav who is also a 200+ year old elf from Baldur’s Gate who generally prefers sketchy hangouts and they’ve spent two centuries occasionally ending up at the same tavern or inn or party as Astarion and like, he’s a memorable guy when he’s laying it on thick the way he does when he’s cruising for a victim. so they remember him

and at some point they started putting together missing persons in the paper with the people they see Astarion leave with and they’re like well. That’s circumstantial at best and not my business.

then they end up abducted and tadpoled and they escape the nautaloid and they’re walking with Shadowheart and they see Astarion on the path and they’re like

oh my god. no fucking way.

Astarion tries his little damsel in distress trick but they just interrupt him mid sentence like

You. 🫵

alternatively a tav who is sort of clueless and doesn’t read the papers and they just think Astarion has a rly good sex life and it’s still not their business so when they end up on the road together they don’t bring it up or mention they recognize him and when the vampire reveal happens they’re like

oh, huh.

(thirty second silence while their brain makes some connections)

Hold on—

I keep on thinking 'man people are staring at me, are they being homophobic or...?' and then I remember I have this pattern shaved into my legs

I've been doing this for going on three or four years now :)

we didn't notice how you had your legs shaved because it seemed kind of normal so we thought the post was going to be about how you don't have ska shoes to match your ska shorts.

never mind the shoes OR the legs; your socks don't match each other buddy. is this a laundry day requirement or a chaotic neutral choice

once i did horizontal stripes on one leg and vertical on the other and i swear random people reacted like i was nude

My boss is making me work even though theres discord channels to read like morning paper?

i will come kill him with my demon blade

Sometimes I worry you like the demon blade more than you like me

my first play through and also trying to keep everyone from becoming their worst selves is going well why do you ask

could everyone just stop trying to shoot themselves in the foot for five minutes? Gods.

glad to see those spreading the truth

Rb to force new people from twitter to eat bees

Oh, hey, I was wondering when I’d get to use this again.

did you just fucking have this

if i had super speed im sure people would be like "how could you possibly have super speed" and i would be like "ok, ill prove it. name something you can get at a grocery store" and they would be like "hmmm okay. cheddar cheese" and then i would use my super speed to shave their head completely bald almost instantly. theyll never see it coming

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Since Mallow canonically can neither jump nor run as fast as the others, I imagine the rest of the team often goes out of their way to help him out on difficult terrain/make sure he doesn’t get left behind. I feel like they would instinctively look out for him, even Bowser.

(OH on that subject I noticed that if you have Mallow in the party for fighting the giant squid, he WILL jump over the gap in the floor? Was Mario giving him jumping lessons?? More food for thought.)

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tom herpich & steve wolfhard episodes are always so funny in such a specific way

why would you ever want adventure time characters to swear when lines like this are objectively way funnier

from what i understand dungeon meshi is about hairy man panty shots shirtless blonde women grasping hands and looking into eachothers eyes and middle aged union men who look like twelve year olds

THANK YOU. and the autism knight