we rise once more

When my mother forgets a word, she is the queen of coming up with new words. Words that would take a third National Treasure movie to fully decipher. I was talking to her yesterday, and she said this: “You know the time for los jibbities is coming up. You must be so excited!” Oh, is it time for los jibbities already? I must have missed it on my calendar. Are we celebrating something? “Of course! We should all be celebrating, shouldn’t we?” OK, so los jibbities is a happy thing. It’s not like something is giving you the heebie-jeebies, which would have been my one and only guess. “Los heebie-jeebies? Now you’re making things up...and this is my show.” You’re right. The time for los jibbities is coming up. Is this a season? “Yes, the season for love. The season for pride.” OK, los jibbities. “Yeah, sound it out.” Los…jibbities. LGBTs! “Sí, mira cuz you’re gay!” “You couldn’t just say pride season? You couldn’t just… *laughs*

HAPPY LOS JIBBITIES EVERYBODY!!!

"The Daily Dyke Cartoons" No. 1 & 2

Intaglio with Chine Cólle 

Continue✨ Keep going✨

Thank you, lady 🤗

The Nigerian accent. God. She reminds me of home...

Always grateful when this makes the rounds

Helpful former homeowner.

When I say love makes us human, this is what I mean.

every time someone says ‘oh, you knit? do you like it?’ i have the marrow-deep urge to tenderly take their face in my hands and press my lips to their eyelids and telepathically transmit the full overwhelming awareness that i carry just beneath my skin every moment of every day of how important fiber crafts and textiles are and historically have been to humanity. every stitch i work is a thousand billion stitches that have already been worked and will be worked in the future, from the farthest reaches of prehistory until time immemorial. every spindle i spin is spun with the same flick of uncountable fingers from ages past, all united across history in the deceptively simple movement that has shaped history, and art, is the context within which every single person on earth has ever lived their life and lives their lives still. everything from our phones to our homes is given shape and form by the overlooked but utterly important textile arts.

‘of fucking course i like knitting, you jackass,’ i say gently. ‘i wouldn’t do it otherwise.’

Submitter comment: I'd like to submit this '[s]tudy of defensive behavior of a venomous snake as a new approach to understand snakebite' not for it's topic (worth studying!) but for it's insane methodology, which... well, I'll just let the researcher speak for himself:

[Q: Why did you decide to do this experiment?

A: Snake behavior has been generally neglected as a field of research, especially in Brazil. And most studies don’t examine what factors make them want to bite. If you study malaria, you can research the parasite that causes the disease—but if you don’t study the mosquito that carries it, you will never solve the problem. Up until now, the popular wisdom was that the jararaca would only attack if you touched it or stepped on it. But that was not what we found.

Q: Why did you need to be the victim?

A: The best way to do this research is to put snakes and a human together. In this case, the human was me. We put the snakes inside a ring on the floor of our lab until they got used to it, then I stepped in wearing special protective boots. I stepped close to the snake and also lightly on top of it. I didn’t put my whole weight on my foot, so I did not hurt the snakes. I tested 116 animals and stepped 30 times on every animal, totaling 40,480 steps.]

From the recent (aptly named) interview: Researcher steps on deadly vipers 40,000 times to better predict snakebites

i want to pet her feathers so bad..

me, as I’m rubbing my t gel into my leg: hmm. what if I was cis this whole time

the transsexual angel sitting on my shoulder: who fucking cares. you’re having a good time being on t. either take t as a tranny or take it as a cis dyke. who cares!

me: thanks transsexual angel. are you allowed to reclaim those slurs btw

every prehistoric human reconstruction has me thinking “I want to smoke weed with this bitch”

she looks like she would have been an awesome neighbor, like she would have loved menthols and called me baby

“a Cheeto could have killed a Victorian child” but the opposite. Neanderthals would have loved to go to Hardee’s and get a burger with me.

neanderthals would have walked hand in hand with me into hell (buccees opening day)

When I saw this article two years ago and found out Neanderthals were seasoning their food 70,000 years ago, I teared up thinking about how they never got to try things like beef jerky and Doritos.

They never got to snap into a slim jim

Their descendants get to. Which is awesome. It’s important to remember that. Denisovans and Neanderthals and other yet undiscovered archaic humans who contributed to the human genome may have technically gone extinct but they do live on in modern human populations. Which is bittersweet to think about.

i'm sorry but this is the only submission to this trend that i'll consider giving any thought to

i say this with 100% sincerity: if you want to know who monica lewkinsky is, she's the person who deserves to be back in the white house more than any person alive and she should get full rights to execute any 1990s comedians of her choice by firing squad. she deserves to be on the $20 bill and have her own monument on the national mall, but instead she's happy with reclaiming the narrative. she should have been america's people's princess instead of diana. we don't deserve her.

Okay, so I did google her and the scandal you mentioned in the tags, and I have two things to say

1. Holy shit

2. Yeah, I think she has the best one for the trend

Somehow, it is one thing to know that people born after 9/11 are now adults, but it is another entirely to understand that there is a cohort of adults who don’t know who Monica Lewinsky is.

Yeaaaaah.

I've seen fake Monica tweets before so I double checked this one and I'm delighted to report that it's real

Please correct me if I'm wrong but didn't she get famous for blowing the president? That's about as much as I was ever told about her

Yup. She was perfectly willing and able to walk away. She chose to take part. She's been riding that train ever since.

… she was an intern at the White House. Imagine being an intern at the White House right out of college decades before the current wave of feminism. And the *president of the nation* asks you to blow him in the Oval Office. And you want to work in the white house as your full-time job. Do you deny him? Suppose you don’t want to do it. Can you deny him?

I’m thrilled by the modern-day attitudes about this. Genuinely, the way this would go in 2024 is that the intern could say no and tell the press what happened and half of America would support them. But when I was a kid? No way!

And Monica Lewinsky didn’t ride a train to fame from this situation. She was America’s laughingstock and punching bag for twenty years. She was the butt of every sex joke and the least respected person that everyone knew the name of. She couldn’t live any sort of remotely normal life or do the things that she wanted to do because every single person, including all members of the press and every comedian, was out to get her. Every “cancelled” celebrity nowadays pretends they’ve been treated the way Monica Lewinsky was and you know what, she’s right that they wouldn’t last an hour in her shoes.

I’m very happy about the cultural shift that has allowed her to come back into the public again. You have to understand how recent this shift was.

makin my way downtown

slowly

[Image: a photo of a train passing through a pasture. Large text all over the image reads "I am constantly trying to explain something incommunicable."

End ID]

Google is cooked

As soon as AI started scraping tumblr I knew it was doomed, but I didn’t expect it to McFuckingDie™️ this fast

i have a strict "do not answer the door unless you're expecting someone" policy but i also have this second, even stupider policy where i have to go to the door and stand there as silently as possible to gather as much information as i can about who it was that came to the door. honestly because i'm nosy. but naturally i don't want to interface with anyone directly, least of all any type of stranger who would willfully go around knocking on anybody and everybody's door. so imagine my horror when today, someone knocks, and i'm standing there silently to gather information, and they have the gall to start sliding something in between the door and the frame, exactly the same way you would if you were trying to card the door open. fortunately, and to my credit, i realized it was a cardstock brochure for local baptist church before i opened the door to shove them down the stairs. i'm kidding, of course, my "do not open the door" policy extends to include if they try to open it. i'll stand here silently and let them finish and then i have the element of surprise in my favor. like i don't know why you weren't expecting me. i live here. this is a post about using italicization to signify that a role reversal has occurred (monks resume chanting and i take my place back among them while another one steps up to the post editor to make a post)