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The Shitpost Calligrapher

@theshitpostcalligrapher / theshitpostcalligrapher.tumblr.com

NEW REQUESTS ARE CLOSED ATM Confusing Future Archivists since 2015. 27/she/they. Linktree:linktr.ee/theshitpostcalligrapher pfp by tumblr user @husband

Pinned FAQ

How do I request a card?

You can request up to 3 cards for free during openaskbox events! During those, the /ask inbox opens up for a few hours, during which I try to write as many as I can live on twitch and post them on tumblr.

After the event is over and I close that inbox, there are still a BUNCH of leftover requests. This is how I fill the daily content queue, I use those up til it's empty again and then run another openaskbox.

On Sundays at 3pm EST I write all 28 cards due to go up for the week from that pool of leftover asks live on twitch and then queue them to go up after stream

What if I don't wanna wait?

If you'd like to throw a bit of cash around instead of waiting, you can buy via the etsy listing or you can tune in to those^ Saturday livestreams, there's a variety of ways to donate to get cards written for you on the spot

How do I buy the card I've requested?

The etsy listing is available here! Please remember to include in the notes of the purchase which card(s) you want to buy. If you'd like me to bundle together all the cards you've requested over a period of a few years, dm me here on the blog and I can quote you on a cheaper bundle price

Why did you answer all those asks, it messed up my dash?

Sorry about that! So to keep all of that ^ organized, at the end of the month, I answer about 112-140 leftover asks in order to record them to a proper "to-write document"

It helps me keep organized, it allows me to easily search for spelling issues, and it gets a few eyeballs on the request in case someone tries to slip an obscure slur into their request that I'm not cool with writing (it has happened)

Lots of the regulars are used to this dash nonsense, but there are folks who want to avoid it entirely. If you're on mobile I'd just recommend unfollowing for a while, but if you're on desktop, you can blacklist the tag "added to notepad" and go to xkit to tick the "fully hide blocked tags" option so it clears up your dash

Wait I thought requests were closed, why can I still send things?

That's because requests use /ask, but /submit is always open because it's for YOUR calligraphy, pet photos, fanart of man... etc. Requests are NOT open when it's not openaskbox day but feel free to send me cool shit YOU made anytime

Wait you have a twitch, do you do anything other than calligraphy?

I try! my schedule at work (restaurant) varies week to week so I try my best to stream whenever I've got free time to, nothing's really planned out though

What are your regular writing tools and paper?

I mainly just use speedball nibs, specifically the c-series (c-0 through c-4) because they're angled flat nibs that let me do most blackletter hands I write. I have a supply of leonardt thin tips for detailing and illustrating

The blackletter hands I use rotate through a gothic textura, an italic, a fraktur and an uncial throughout the day, since I post four cards per day.

As for paper, the cards you see on the daily are on plain index cue cards I buy from staples. When commissioned/doing larger pieces, I work with a variety of paper, including a 32 lb xerox paper that has juuuust a perfect amount of lamination that avoids ink feathering, black paper that I bought a hundred sheets of in 2019 and I no longer remember the label, and a BOATLOAD of southworth's ivory parchment paper at both 32 and 64 lb weights. If you're looking to get anything larger than 11x17, I have a bigass 18x24 pad of watercolour paper I can cut down to whatever size we need.

Sooo, I made a thing

And I am pretty proud of the thing

But it took literally forever, and making things unfortunately costs money 😭😭

So if anyone would like to check out my Ko-Fi, maybe browse the shop, or leave a tip it would be very much appreciated, because I would like to continue doing these kinds of things!

Also, I am gonna work on writing a whole blog post about the process of making the above thing. Spoiler alert, it took forever.

Edit to add: link to the blog post

Prints Gallery Post!

been a while since I did a lil showcase post for the prints available on the shop! Canada Post's latest news is about how they'll be resuming a strike come May, so it's in folks' best interests to get their prints rn cuz Idk what kinda delay we'll be looking at come summer

ANYWAYS

so this isn't all of the prints available since that would turn this post into colours of the sky right fucken fast but here are a handful of em! I've hyperlinked the specific links to each post and remember you can always reach out about custom work

oh i forgot to clarify but these are DIGITAL prints - i go to a printer to get them printed on 32 lb semigloss print paper, which is shiny but has JUST enough give that all of the gold illumination you see on the prints is paintable by hand - that's why there are those price differences between prints, each something wicked print takes a minute or two to add gold to, but parry this requires like 5-7 minutes per print

heeeyyyyy @gallusrostromegalus and @briarpatch-kids its timmmeeee for basil babies!

i germinated a bunch this year, lets see how many survive lol

pls grow my children

god the angle of my shot there is so fucked. it looks solid as hell because it's chunks of mud.

the soil is made of part inert dirt from the outside, part vermicopost and part soil i dug out from my isopod enclosure (pillbug poop) watering carefully in closed quarters is kind of a pain so i just saturate my soil mix with water in a baggie.

a layer of regular dry soil goes on the bottom, then the seedlings, then a dollop of my fucked up mud mixture goes on top, the idea being the water will slowly seep its way downwards

it's worked like this before and there are probably better ways to do it but my mud bag works for me rn

GROW!!!! MY CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!

DEEPER PLANT POTS FOR THE SURVIVORS OF THE GAUNTLET

also we found some old tomato and pepper seeds and we're gonna see if those take in the middle two pots

also i think there were some random little weed seeds from my outdoor dirt so thats why there's the thicker basil sprouts alongside the random spindly lil weeds

Prints Gallery Post!

been a while since I did a lil showcase post for the prints available on the shop! Canada Post's latest news is about how they'll be resuming a strike come May, so it's in folks' best interests to get their prints rn cuz Idk what kinda delay we'll be looking at come summer

ANYWAYS

so this isn't all of the prints available since that would turn this post into colours of the sky right fucken fast but here are a handful of em! I've hyperlinked the specific links to each post and remember you can always reach out about custom work

new WIP! this person wanted the sam and frodo pulling themselves up the mountain vibes here so I'm gonna have fun illustrating my boys in that bigass T

pencils are done! time for several hours of finetip inking!

Sorry I can't find the original quote can someone tell me what this says?

oh sorry i forgot, the text in the images reads "They got it done and they screamed and cried the whole time. Just scream and cry and keep walking."

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