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and i stumble ever forward

@trainwreckisawreck / trainwreckisawreck.tumblr.com

train, they/xe/it/any
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incredibly rushed and made while Very Tirwd but .new ship bingo :3333

send me ships 2 do this with or rb 2 do it yrself idc …………

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Ilia fucking Malinin’s world record breaking free skate

Oh my God every bit of this is wild

-when he does the first big jump the announcers start screaming. I don't understand enough of what I'm looking at to get what about this is breaking records but the announcers screaming was a pretty big clue

-He's dancing to music from Succession????? I don't recognize all of it but some of it is definitely the theme from Succession. At one point the audience claps along to the music. And I'm not sure if it's out of support for the skater or because they like the song 🤣

-when he finishes he just lays down on the ice incredible

THAT'S MY BOY!!! I SKATE AT HIS RINK!!!

  • That first big jump is a Quadruple Axel. It's 4.5 rotations in the air (you take off forwards rather than backwards, which is the extra half rotation). Nobody else in the world can do this jump it's so hard. He is the first and only person to ever land it cleanly, much less consistently. He had to land it cleanly here to have any hope of winning the World Champion title.
  • Yes, he's skating to music from Succession! The audience is clapping in support because he was doing so well (also because it was hosted in Montreal and the audience was very supportive of all the skaters that evening).
  • He lays down on the ice because he just broke multiple world records. He landed all 6 types of quadruple jumps cleanly, which no one has ever done at all (again, because he's the only one that can do the quad Axel), much less in a single program like this. This was an insane feat of athletic ability! If you go watch the other guys who competed against him, Yuma Kagiyama was in second place by 20 fucking points, and Yuma skated with no falls. This is Micheal Phelps / Katie Ledecky levels of smashing the competition (sorry the only other sport I know is swimming).

Some other notes for everyone:

  • Ilia listed that first jump as a Triple Axel on the sheet you give to the judges, meaning that he wasn't committed to doing the Quad Axel. (Technically you're not committed to anything on the sheet but it's generally your "plan" for the program.) He also doesn't do a quad axel in the 6-minute warmup beforehand when he does go and do it in the program, so it was a complete toss-up as to whether he was going to go for it. It's incredible that he manages to land the jump so perfectly without warming it up first!
  • He was 3rd coming into this skate from the previous short program. (All skating competitions require you to skate 2 different programs, 1 short and 1 long.) In order to win the title, he was going to have to skate without any falls, especially because his one strong point is his jumps and other skaters are stronger in other areas. There are many, many skaters who fall on their quad jumps, even when they're just doing one. It is so fucking hard to do even one of the 6 types of quad jumps. And he just does all 6! In one program! Insanity!
  • He did a 4 Lutz - 3 Flip at the halfway point of his program. Almost no one puts a Flip on the end of their combos, it'll usually be a Salchow instead because it's much easier. The only other skater I can think of to put a Flip on the end of a combo is Shoma Uno (who was also at these championships but didn't have a good skate).
  • His last jumping pass was a combo that was supposed to be a 3 Lutz - 2 Axel. He decided, in the moment, to change the 2 Axel to a 3 Axel. Nobody else has ever attempted this, much less succeeded. It is orders of magnitude more difficult to do another rotation to the second jump in a combo, at the very end of a 4.5 minute sprint no less.

In short, this kid is wild, had the performance of a lifetime, and I had the blessed opportunity to witness it.

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When I die and get to heaven I will be met with the souls of the many thousands of ants I have slaughtered ready to usher me into the kingdom of god and I will say “friends, though I have felled you in life you welcome me with open arms? Come, let me embrace you as brothers do.” And as they move to hug me I take out a knife and stab them in the back for the final time, passing gods test and being allowed into mega super heaven.

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cyprusvamp

In these trying times (weather above 90F/32C) it’s important to remember what makes it all worth it (butches in tank tops, butches in cut-up shirts, butches in shorts, butches in cool sunglasses, butches in short sleeved shirts unbuttoned at the collar, butches shirtless, butches in swim shorts)

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godsiero

i’m literally shaking, crying, and throwing up for everybody to read this if you even care a little bit about nerdy prudes must die

you guys, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, when you are making your npmd song rankings and doing your commentary i am BEGGING YOU to LISTEN to the music underscoring lauren lopez when she’s singing her face off in “just for once.”

i CANNOT watch ONE MORE video where somebody brings up the “cool as i think i am” motif coming back up during “nerdy prudes must die,” “if i loved you reprise,” and “dirty dudes must die” AND NOBODY KNOWS THAT IT IS ALSO IN “JUST FOR ONCE” BECAUSE JEFF BLIM IS A SNEAKY BASTARD AND HE DECIDED TO UNDERSCORE RUTH SCREAMING HER DREAMS WITH HER WHOLE CHEST WITH THE SAME FUCKING MOTIF.

go listen to “just for once” again, and when lauren lopez gets on her knees in the climax of the song and starts absolutely devouring her three just for once’s, during that build and build and build, THE MOTIF WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE OF “if i can finally be cool i will know that i’m not a loser” IS FUCKING PLAYING.

PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU!! I AM ON MY KNEES SHAKING!!

AND ANOTHER THING

THE MOTIF SHOWS UP WHEN YOU THINK SOMEBODY IS ABOUT TO DIE. IT IS SUPPOSED TO COME UP WHEN SOMEBODY HAS THE POTENTIAL OF DYING. THEY DO NOT HAVE TO DIE. BUT AFTER MAX DIES THE MOTIF RETURNS EVERY TIME THEY WANT YOU TO THINK SOMEBODY IS GOING TO DIE. IT PLAYS WHEN RICHIE DOES DIE. IT PLAYS WHEN RUTH DOES DIE. IT PLAYS WHEN WE THINK PETE IS ABOUT TO DIE. IT PLAYS WHEN GRACE IS ABOUT TO KILL JASON. PLEASE.

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Inevitable works so well because it's the perfect ending to every genre TGWDLM is, and that includes the romance subplot!! truly what is a more traditionally romantic ending than your crush returning from his death mission ready to take you to your happily ever after?? WHAT is more romantic than him wanting to share his essence with you so you BECOME EACH OTHER and cease to exist as you once were without your shared infatuation??

romance peaked at "let me puke in your mouth"

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