evangelinedares reblogged
she only plays minecraft and spore
evangelinedares reblogged
If you like the other end, best way to support us is through patreon. And we’ve got a bunch of cool extra content there, like 80+ exclusive comics
evangelinedares reblogged
oh by the way, in Danish, "fag" means "subject" and "slut" means "end" so on library shelves you will see "fag slut" to note where the break in book topics is
pronounced fay' sloot
evangelinedares reblogged
evangelinedares reblogged
Medieval babies are ADORABLE
LOOK AT THEM
@the-merry-otter I am so damned guilty of this. I can do way more with so much less effort, hence my little pastel viking
Omg 🥹🥹
evangelinedares reblogged
evangelinedares reblogged
The masc carabiner and the femme chatelaine.
You agree.
evangelinedares reblogged
mobile games taught me that women are always freezing in cold houses
evangelinedares reblogged
obituaries in the south are so funny, they’ll be talking about a man who spent his 72 years on this earth torturing his family and terrorizing the small town he was born into and saying shit like “he ascended to his eternal reward” “he rose to glory” like no baby he did not. “was called home” is my favorite euphemism because it fails to mention if it was God or Satan who wanted him back
the careful implied insult in that sentence is so crazy. that obituary writer was playing chess with words.
Okay I used to review Texas obituaries for a living and these are some of my favorite lines describing people who were apparently awful during their lifetimes:
- “A man of a distinct and unmatched personality” (divorced four times, hated by the entire town of Caldwell, Texas)
- “Many remember him most fondly as a child” (died in a meth lab explosion)
- “Her family hopes that Christ may finally guide her, and she may at last find peace” (For an 80yo woman. I never got the full story on this one, but it’s incredible)
- “He has gone now to see the fruits of his life” (man in question had assaulted and murdered two people, and was given the death penalty)
- Very common - “A man whom everybody in town knew and few forgot”
- “A man who read the scriptures and taught his children how to be strong” (a Christian fundamentalist arrested three times for violent family battery)
- “He was familiar with God”
- “In eternity, she will receive at last what she deserves”
- And my favorite - “She was a strong-willed woman who knew the value of manipulating a good deal. Her family believes she is now arguing with St. Peter to slip her the keys to the gate while Archangel Michael isn’t looking.” (Woman in question was vehemently hated by her entire family bc she had sued them multiple times)
Biden’s obituary for Kissinger is a masterclass in this. “Long after retiring from government, he continued to offer his views” and we offer our condolences “to those that loved him” are as close to “he deserved to die and I hope they burn in hell!” as you can get in an official presidential missive.
evangelinedares reblogged
it's kind of crazy climate change has occurred at such a remarkable pace that I and everyone else around my age can remember a completely different climate in our childhoods. I truly watched winter gradually disappear in my life.
"You're too young to remember this, but there used to be so many insects outside that you would have to clean them off the windshield after a long car ride" is the kind of sentence that would have been in a cheesy scifi short story earlier in my life, perhaps submitted to a literary magazine and accepted to show support for its environmentalist message - now it's something I've said in earnest.
evangelinedares reblogged
holleywoodsigns
"Family-friendly" has been a dogwhistle for all kinds of evil horseshit since at LEASE my childhood, 40+ years ago.
Don't fall for it. And don't let pro-LGBT+ people use that language without challenging it, it's a direct fucking quote from our oppressors.
Every time I see a politician/political party here say something along the lines of 'family first/family oriented' I immediately start looking for further evidence of their stance on all types of queer people because odds are they will discriminate against some if not all types but especially against trans people.
'Think of the children' has been a rallying cry for bigots of all stripes for at least a century now. Probably more, honestly.
evangelinedares reblogged
The naming of female characters in Bond movies makes a lot more sense if you headcanon them as trans women who picked their own slutty names.
Like, can I believe "Pussy Galore" is a cis woman who was named that as a baby? No. But a trans woman who got vaginaplasty and is very proud it of? Of course!
... so, uh, true fact, when I created the countdown widget for my wife's vaginoplasty back in 2022, it was titled " The Long-Awaited Arrival of the Fabulous Miss Pussy Galore."
I salute you.
evangelinedares reblogged
evangelinedares reblogged
"I would kill for you. I would die for you" would you take a break for me? Would you sit down and rest? For a day, a week, a year? Would you let others take care of your needs for me? Would you let yourself be held for me? By me?
OP i hope its okay to reblog with your additions bc they are good
not only is it okay, I think i'd like that very much, thank you.
evangelinedares reblogged
Women want one thing and it's quite obvious, A large affordable interconnected North American Rail Network
evangelinedares reblogged
New jobs are fun because you’re asking questions like ummmmm how do you open. A door
and they're like "uhhh it's a door. open it already. why would you even ask?"
and then you do and they forcibly tear your hand away "NO NOT LIKE THAT ACID COMES OUT IF YOU DO IT LIKE THAT YOU IDIOT" and they proceed do a handstand and open the door with their butt cheeks "just open it normally idiot. use common sense."
and they've been opening this door with upside down butt cheeks for 20 years and it really is common sense to them at this point and they see nothing strange about it and they make some crack about how young people are morons who aren't taught buttcheek door skills and you still aren't sure if the acid thing is real but now you're afraid to ask