Join the Warlock Syndicate

fairy tales become so much more interesting when you add political intrigue. the firstborn princess was locked in a tower after losing a war of succession. dragons regularly kidnap heirs to the throne as leverage for land rights treaties. sleeping beauty was doomed to sleep for a century bc of erstwhile trade disputes.

If you have fae like Maleficent actually living in or near your kingdom then appeasing them in the manner of fairy tales constitutes good political policy. You invite the damn creepy mega-powerful fairy to your childs' christening and welcome them like the insanely powerful foreign delegation/internal political faction they are.

If you piss off a normal neighboring ruler they might invade you and kill your peasants, piss off one of your most powerful vassals and they might take your castle and kill you and your family, if you piss off one of the fae they might curse your crops to fail for fifty years or put your entire castle in a magical slumber for a century.

More fantasy rulers dealing with fae and other incredibly powerful magical beings should be acting a lot more like your standard Ruritania or Kreplachistan dealing with the US, Russia, or China. One wrong move and the whole country gets to be "liberated" with a truly impressive amount of explosions.

Isn't it basically subtext that the witches and fairies who always be bargaining for first-born children are doing so because those kids have a claim on the wealth of the family? Like yeah some of them eat children, but that first-born caveat comes up a ridiculous number of times to not be coincidental.

one time someone online got mad at me for drawing porn of oddish. disregarding any and all discourse about whether or not pokemon pass the harkness test, im sorry, thats an onion. thats a root vegetable. if you truly believe that rule 34 of a sentient onion creature speaks to a desire to have sex with the real life equivalent, you dont have to worry about me commiting beastiality. but keep an eye on me in the produce section

many tears were shed that day

We locked a child in a basement for 30 years to read what ideas it came up with ex nihilo & tabula rasa and it only made derivative slop

I raised a child in a lightless cave, then at age 13 I gave them a lamp, pen, and paper, and they just instinctively drew a "cool S" and amateur Kim Possible hentai

if u are a sensitive boy with long hair or maybe an oddly desensitized boy with short hair and feel some gnawing yearning deep inside urself from a place u don't understand, or maybe u don't feel anything at all besides an implacable pain, or maybe u don't even feel the pain and it's just a sheet of noise and numbness, and u have been waiting for a sign, this is it. it's time to start smoking cigarettes. rolling your own is way cheaper than prefabs, filters are a scam that's just fiberglass. but u can smoke fiberglass if u want. i love you.

it's actually really irresponsible to tell people to start taking estrogen without warning them of the health risks

if u are a sensitive boy with long hair or maybe an oddly desensitized boy with short hair and feel some gnawing yearning deep inside urself from a place u don't understand, or maybe u don't feel anything at all besides an implacable pain, or maybe u don't even feel the pain and it's just a sheet of noise and numbness, and u have been waiting for a sign, this is it. it's time to start smoking cigarettes. rolling your own is way cheaper than prefabs, filters are a scam that's just fiberglass. but u can smoke fiberglass if u want. i love you.

it's actually really irresponsible to tell people to start taking estrogen without warning them of the health risks

How English has changed in the past 1000 years.

the big mans a lad i have fuck all, he lets me have a kip in a field he showed me a pond 

im not a cuck myself but i like observing their culture from the outside, like say, from a chair in the corner

I find “rational” Worm fanfics amusing

Because the authors never realize that Worm already has a “rational” character and his name is Accord.

And everyone in setting hates Accord because he’s a smug asshole, and his optimal way of thinking ends with him cut in half by his own actions.

It’s almost as funny as malicious compliance fan fics that make up the rules for Taylor to use against the PRT, as though they are trying to “gotcha!” a fictional organization

We literally see how canon Taylor does “malicious compliance” as Weaver and it’s not “lol so smart” rules lawyering, it’s just being a corrupt hero and not getting caught for it lmao

uhm, no I don't think I will

My skinny scientist guy of choice

what the fuck

sweet, might base an agricultural civilisation on this river, hope it behaves itself

might just fuck around and find out

Diversity win! This river has ADHD

Nile: You would not believe how long term you have to mismanage agriculture on my banks to start experiencing soil depletion. I will always be here for you Egypt.

Huang He: *kicks in the door* FUCK YOUR DYNASTY IT'S FAMINE TIME!!!

economy is so fucking cooked lmao i hope i can afford food :)

Game designers have denied me impractically sexy men's armour for too long, so I shall have it in real life instead.

huh weird.