@tohellandbackanthology / tohellandbackanthology.tumblr.com
How can I get a copy of the book?
Hi friend!
Unfortunately, our project is concluded now and we have no plans to reprint ever again. This means that sadly there is no way to obtain a physical copy unless someone in possession of one passes it along to another fan.
However, there are digital copies of the anthology too and we're sure there are fans out there who would be happy to share them!
I would love to get the to hell and back Destiel anthology print copy if it becomes available again
I was never selling them, it's just my art on the cover. I believe it was a one-time, end-of-the-series group-funded project run by the @tohellandbackanthology team a few years back. Unfortunately, I don't think they will ever be reprinted.
Sorry friend.
We’re a little late answering this but that is correct. Our anthology project has concluded and we will not be printing any more copies in the future as the book was meant to be a one-time project to commemorate the end of the show. Thank you for your understanding!
Would you consider re selling these?
I'm sorry. This project is closed permanently. We won't be selling copies ever again!
Did I buy ten copies of this because I was afraid of ruining/losing/misplacing a copy? Yes, yes I did. Am I willing to part with two of them at #spnchi ? I am! Let me know if you are looking for a copy.
Sharing for all the folks who're at the con this weekend! If you've wanted to get your hands on one of the sold-out hard copies, get in touch with @missusog !
Soooo... Is it still possible to get that To Hell And Back Anthology somewhere or is it sold out like your calendar?
Hmm, I’m not sure. I only did the cover art for the anthology, I didn’t have a part in the sales or distribution. You can try contacting someone @tohellandbackanthology but don’t get your hopes up. Last I heard, the books were gone 😞
Hi @frosthexe! Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the anthology was its own independent project (for which Jackie was indeed kind enough to do the gorgeous cover art 😘), and has been concluded for quite some time--every last copy we had was either sold or used to replace orders that arrived damaged. There are none left, and we have no plans to do another print run in future as it was a very laborious, totally volunteer process from start to finish!
After printing and shipping expenses, we were able to raise a whopping $10,000 to donate between our chosen charities, IRSS and WISH Vancouver! Look for a post about that coming soon--we are just waiting on one more donation receipt to arrive in the mail.
We realize that people are disappointed about having missed out on the opportunity to purchase the anthology, but we're happy to mention that we are not averse to people sharing the PDF version if they choose. If you ask around you may just find someone willing to send you a copy of the E-book version. 😉
Hi! Where can I buy your book? I have been looking for a while now but I can't find it anywhere 😭 Love from a swedish fan 🇸🇪
Hello! Unfortunately this project has been completed, so there's no way to buy the book anymore. We're actually juuust finally getting all our financials together after donating to share all that info. Sorry about that!
Hello!
I’m sorry to bother you about this as I imagine you get questions about it a lot. But I just can’t bring myself to give up the search yet. I heard you were one of the organizers of the Destiel “To Hell and Back” Anthology. And I’m just trying to find out if there is even the smallest possibility for me to get a copy. I never knew about it until recently otherwise I definitely would have contributed and ordered one. Is there anyone you know I could speak to about either purchasing the PDF or what the cost would be to have another hard copy made? I’m open to just about anything if I can afford it.
Honestly maybe I’m just hoping to hear right from the source that this is a lost cause so I can get my brain to stop fixating on it.
I’ve been asking around and contacted another person who was involved but I have not heard back, perhaps they have not been online (or maybe I’m just driving everyone crazy, sorry about that!). I’m just really sad I missed out the first time because I would have been all over it.
I’d appreciate anything you could tell me, thank you for your time!
Hi friend! Thank you for reaching out!
Unfortunately, there is no way to obtain a physical or digital copy of our anthology. I totally empathize with you on the regret and disappointment of missing out but unfortunately we are on a strict deadline with our project and at this point in time, we cannot exchange any sort of payment because we are getting ready to donate all the funding we raised to the charities we outlined and talked about on our official anthology blog: @tohellandbackanthology.
As a registered incorporated non-profit society in our home province of British Columbia, Canada, we are obligated to fill out income tax forms this coming April and as such, we prefer to have our finances in complete order before we do so.
The cost of producing a single copy of our anthology would be in the amount of several hundreds :/ The only reason we were able to lower the cost was because of the huge amount of support and orders we received. Sadly, I don’t believe our printer would accept an order for a single copy. They are the largest hardcover printer of books in Canada and contracts are done on a large order basis.
That said, we do have an AO3 collection for our authors and artists. It is on a voluntary basis, so not all the contributors have opted to post their work, but there are still a fair amount and best of all, it’s totally free! 🥳
Once again, I’m super sorry about this! But thank you so much for your understanding and I hope you enjoy the works posted on AO3 thus far! ❤️
my story for @tohellandbackanthology art by the incredibly talented @pimentogirl
Dean will always remember hell. He carries with him the memories of what he did there, what was done to him, like a penance. Like just remembering will in some way make up for his sins.
What he doesn’t remember is being saved. If he strains his imagination, he thinks he might recall a blinding light and a touch that burned through him like fire, purifying him.
He brings it up with Cas, once, and Cas shakes his head.
“I didn’t touch you,” he says. “Neither one of us was occupying a physical form at the time.”
“But you left a mark on me,” Dean reminds him.
Cas reaches out, laying his hand on Dean’s shoulder, warm through the thin cotton layer of Dean’s shirt. “I left that when I put your body back together. But I still didn’t have a physical form.”
“When was the first time you touched me?” Dean asks. The question feels stupid as soon as he’s said it out loud but Cas furrows his brow, contemplating it.
“When I brought you back to the past to witness your mother’s deal.” He moves his hand from Dean’s shoulder, touching two fingers to his forehead. Dean bats them away and Cas smiles. “Not the most romantic beginning, I’ll admit.”
“Hey, you gotta start somewhere.” Dean takes Cas’ hand in his own, marvels at the easiness of it. How he’s allowed to finally have this. “Are you sure that was the first time? I feel like it happened sooner.”
“I have an infallible memory,” Cas reminds him dryly.
“Tell me that the next time you get lost on your way to the gas station.”
“I was taking a different-” Cas cuts himself off, pursing his lips together. “You’re teasing me.”
Dean grins. “Maybe.”
And he leans in, kissing the frown away from Cas’ lips before it can properly form.
Here it is, y'all. The 15x18 fixit, 14 months later. Somehow I managed to craft this fic way before the climatic events of November 5th—yet it’s somehow just as relevant.
Written for the @tohellandbackanthology. Art by the wonderful @oh-juarhala ✨
Dean rolls over, stretching a hand over to the other side of the bed.
Cold.
He sits up, rubbing his eyes.
Cas must be up then, and probably has been for a while.
Dean smiles. Makes sense. Guy doesn’t sleep.
He heads down the hallway and into the kitchen, expecting Cas to be sitting there with coffee, smiling at him in that soft way.
But it’s empty.
He checks the war room. Observatory. Even doubles back to the room Cas used to call his. Garage. He calls six times before he bangs open the door to Sam’s room.
“Cas is gone,” Dean says bluntly. Sam lowers his gun once he sees it’s Dean, rubbing at his eyes. “Okay, but…” He blinks. “Isn’t that kind of what he does?”
“He hasn’t answered any of my calls,” Dean growls. “And this time, it’s—” he cuts off, wishing he could snatch the words back.
Sam tilts his head.
“It’s… what, Dean?”
Dean is silent, looking down at the floor.
“Oh.”
Dean swallows.
“Oh,” Sam says again.
written for the @tohellandbackanthology
thank you to @tibbinswrites and @kingdumbass for betaing, and be on the lookout for the amazing accompanying art by @saawek!
explicit, demon!dean, angst with a happy ending, cw: dubcon, 5k
Castiel feels a void somewhere inside of him, now that Dean is gone. He tries to fill it out—he attempts to help Sam with cases, but Sam doesn’t even have to say anything for Cas to know his bumbling is more of a hindrance than a help.
That leaves him with nothing to do but agonize over his failing grace and fruitlessly search for leads on Dean. He sets up camp at a motel somewhere in Ohio and tries his best to remember how Sam had taught him to search for signs of demonic activity. He does this for weeks, until the days passing seem to blur together, until, suddenly, it isn’t so fruitless. He finds Dean.
The worst part is it isn’t even on purpose.
*
Castiel has had enough of staring at his computer screen, so he leaves the stuffy motel room. He figures his grace was weak enough that he can actually get well and truly drunk, so he goes to a bar, intent on drinking until he can’t feel anything anymore. That plan flies out the window when he sees Dean.
Cas's first thought is he’s hallucinating. His grace is sputtering out, and it’s just showing him what he wants to see most in his final moments. Why would Dean be here, in this dank dive that doesn’t even have peanuts, after Castiel’s spent almost a month looking for him with nothing to show?
Castiel drinks in this picture of Dean—even if it isn’t real, he’ll take what he can get. It’s the thing he’s been yearning for for weeks, after all, but he freezes when he looks a little deeper. There are putrid green swirls floating around Dean’s soul, slowly puffing through the cracks on its blackened surface. The soul that used to be the picture of perfection, that used to be the thing that filled Cas' void. He feels vaguely ill. The closest to this he’s ever seen Dean’s soul is when he pulled him out of Hell, all those years ago.
Dean’s soul had been tattered then, too, but iridescent light still sputtered weakly from within: its feeble attempts at mending itself back together. Castiel remembers the way he had clutched Dean’s soul close, feeling the emanation of its soft energy and reconciling it with his grace before letting it slip back into Dean’s body.
Now, there’s only a dim light struggling to pass the darkened shell, never mind having enough energy for any patch work. He recalls the way Dean’s soul used to reach out to meet his grace, to bridge any distance between them, and he grimaces as he compares it to this new sight, the way it seems to shrink in on itself, trying to get as far away from the holy light as it can.
Cas's eyes drift back to the terrestrial plane, and he’s convinced this vision of Dean isn’t some mercy his grace is giving—it’s cruelty to show him Dean’s soul like this, even if it does mean he gets to see Dean for the first time in what seems like much longer than eternity. It gnaws at him that the brightest thing he’s ever laid eyes on has been corrupted, defiled, and twisted into what sits before him now.
His feet move forward against his will, propelling him towards Dean, who raises a hand to the bartender. By the time Cas drops into the seat next to Dean, there’s a drink waiting for him. He reaches out and downs it.
Dean turns and looks up at Cas through his eyelashes. “Rough day?”
“Rough day,” Castiel echoes tonelessly, “That’s all you have to say?”
“And what exactly do you want me to say, Cas? Long time, no see? You should lose the trench so I can get a better view of your ass?”
Castiel flushes. Now he knows this isn’t his Dean, and it isn’t a Dean his grace cooked up, either. He fiddles with his shot glass and shrugs.
Dean huffs a laugh. “You really tracked me down and didn’t even think of anything to say? Here I was, thinking you were a boy scout.”
“Who says I tracked you down?” Cas counters, even though that’s been his only goal for a while now. He swears he sees a flicker of hurt cross Dean’s face. Not Dean, Cas reminds himself sternly, even though it’s so easy to get caught up in the sight, the scent, and the nearness of this not-Dean.
“So if you’re not here for me, what then?”
In a quiet voice, Cas answers, “I just wanted to forget for a night.”
“Yeah? What do you have that you need to forget? Did Sam start nagging at you to take better care of yourself?”
“I’ve been alive for millennia, Dean. I have plenty to try to forget.” A wry grin tugs at his lips, but Castiel’s not sure if he should give himself the permission to smile.
“In that case, why turn to alcohol? I’m right here, baby,” Dean purrs, so close that Cas can feel the heat radiating off him.
He turns to Dean in surprise, his eyes dropping down to Dean’s lips before he remembers—not Dean. His Dean wouldn’t want this. Dean doesn’t miss the glance, though, and he smirks. “Interested?”
“N-no. It wouldn’t be right,” Cas stutters, and he can’t remember ever feeling so unnerved. Dean’s not supposed to act like this, has never shown this kind of interest in Cas before.
“Yeah? It feels plenty right to me. An angel and a demon walk into a bar… It’s up to you how that story ends.”
Even with Cas's suspicions of Dean being a demon confirmed, he still feels inexplicably drawn to him. Well, maybe inexplicably is a bit of a stretch; Castiel makes it a habit to not lie to himself, and he’s been drawn to Dean from the very start. Despite this, when Dean leans in, Cas puts a hand to Dean’s chest, keeping him at arm’s length. “I shouldn’t.”
“Good thing I’ve got all night to change your mind,” Dean says with a grin that sets Cas on edge. He swallows hard as Dean’s true face flickers into view, strengthening his resolve, but he can’t make himself get up from his seat and deprive himself of this opportunity to just exist in Dean’s orbit again.
This was the piece originally published in @tohellandbackanthology, and now that we're able to publish our pieces on our own, I'm glad to say here it is!! Super happy to have participated in such a great project, and even happier that everyone gets to read this now. <3 Hope you enjoy.
Rated T, no major archive warnings Tags: friends to lovers, soccer player dean, coming out, pining
Dean Winchester is a professional soccer player on the verge of retirement. After this season's playoffs — win or lose — he'll have to say goodbye to his team and make the arduous move to the opposite coast... but it seems like a fair trade for some measure of anonymity and time with his new niece.
Castiel Novak, the team's assistant physiotherapist, has a few things to say before Dean leaves.
Rating: Mature
Archive warning: Graphic depictions of violence
Length: 1190
Additional tags: Case fic, Angst with a happy ending, Major Character injury
Summary: It was just supposed to be a regular hunt, but Castiel has to make a decision when everything goes wrong.
He didn’t flinch when the hand landed on his shoulder, though he hadn’t been expecting it. It had been a long time since Cas’ touch felt like a threat. He closed his eyes and let the weight comfort him. Cas was solid, he was here. Always pulling him from Hell, even when the Hell in question was his own head.
A Quiet Moment fic by @tibbinswrites art by@crxstalcas created for the @tohellandbackanthology
Starting off the new year by a drawing that’s almost 2 years old now XD This is the piece I made for the @tohellandbackanthology and it goes along with @thebloggerbloggerfun‘s story Color Theory (go read it now if you havent yet !!!)
summary:
He'd always wondered, before: what happened to a monster that died in its own afterlife? Where did it go?
He supposed that must have been the “capricious” part.
And yet, above all else, above the symphony of death flooding his senses and the sound of his erratically human heartbeat drumming in his ears, the voice that rang clear above the din, the spark that kept him going through the thick of it all wasn’t the voice of God or any other divine revelation.
It was Dean Winchester’s.
Sometimes just the sound floating through the aether, the certainty that Dean was still out there fighting, praying, was the only thing that kept Castiel fighting too.
Rating/Length: T (6000 words) Relationship(s): Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel, Eileen Leahy, Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence (Post-Canon), Retired Hunter Dean Winchester, Getting Together, Miscommunication & Misunderstandings, Chronic Pain
Originally written for @tohellandbackanthology 💙💚
Dean can handle how his knee creaks whenever the weather changes. He can handle the dull throb that builds as the day goes on, his thigh begging him to rest after he’s been up on it for an hour or two.
He’s fine with it all.
Cas has always given up more than his fair share for Dean anyways.
Dean’s not about to beg him for what’s left.
