cash and carrie

BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED BAS-

seattle's uneasy truce with the giant skeletons

TIL anyone who's going to overwinter in Antarctica has to have had their appendix out. Because removing an appendix that's not causing any trouble just as a precaution is way better than having one that's about to burst when you're on the ass-end of the planet with no way to be rushed to a hospital if shit gets real.

No, by the way, we absolutely did not think of this ahead of time. A dude named Leonid Rogozov got appendicitis in Antarctica. Fortunately, the expedition's doctor diagnosed him quickly and knew how to remove an appendix. Unfortunately, our man Leo was the expedition's doctor.

What did he do? Well, he set up a mirror, gave his belly a shot of novocaine, presumably told a colleague, "hold my vodka," and he removed his own fucking appendix. He survived.

Au fucking revoir Mister Prince

jesus in the hades art style

This is their dynamic to me. Middle aged dad with what is both his cat and his stubborn teenage daughter

what level of candy crush y'all think he's on?

This is actually funny.

me: *sees a ghost* omg are you dead

the ghost: of corpse

somebody said they will beat my ass because of this joke. Grave mistake

I remember hearing that in the satanic panic of the 80s a preschool (kindergarten?) was accused of making the children all take off their clothes and dance naked in some ritual in the span of an hour. and she, exasperated, was like. (Paraphrasing) “have you ever tried to get ONE toddler dressed? You think I could get a whole classroom undressed and redressed? In an hour??”

in the Egyptian wing of the museum and my boyfriend is like "what are all the time periods of ancient Egypt" and I'm like predynastic, early dynastic, old kingdom which is when the pyramids were built, first intermediate, middle kingdom, second intermediate, new kingdom which includes amarna period and yugioh, third intermediate, and then all the late period stuff and macedonian and roman eras. and he's like run that by me one more time

beer before liquor: adorn a vest of wicker

liquor before beer: the wraith draws near

going to sleep & by sleep. heh. well. let's just say. phone in bed