i think this covers the vast majority of the world but please correct me if i messed up!
for the purposes of this poll, the north american black bear & the asian moon bear are both "black bears". two of the best known brown bear subspecies are north american grizzly bears and eurasian brown bears, but there are many brown bears!
whenever i go for an autism assessment i'm just going to show the dr the research spreadsheets i've made for personal writing that are all organized according to type and topic 😔
cool self isolation bro now what if the people you’re hiding from truly love you and want to care for you
pros: it would most likely vastly improve my life in a multitude of ways
cons: might get scared
me normally: i love!! acquiring objects!!
me packing: who the FUCK acquired this many OBJECTS
super thankful i get paid for my next two weeks of conference time buuuut the trade-off is that i have to lug a 5 lb laptop across the country so i can answer emails. small price to pay for what feels like free money i guess
THIS!
Reblogging this too for folks with anxiety like myself who feel bad when they say they’re too busy but they don’t have every second accounted for doing something so they feel almost like they’re lying. Self-care goes on your schedule too, lovelies.
this is how i feel writing my silly little story and blogging on a friday night while everyone else is out having fun and fucking nasty
man. the curse of being hyper-independent and New At Everything despite being a responsible age is that people feel incredibly comfortable just... throwing me to the wolves. and as nice as it is that people 1) have faith and believe in me 2) trust me not to fuck things up, it is sooooooo scary and overwhelming and bad. and i actually kind of hate it a lot!!!
... and i'm typing this over trying to figure out how to make sense of multiple enormous data sets in software i've used maybe 2-3 times in a tutorial. so i can pare it down into calculations to have some kind of graphical representation of wtf is going on with these numbers. "i'm gonna let you figure this out because i think you can do it" you're right but i will probably be on the verge of tears the whole time.
sorry for the multiple trauma posts in a row it's just been a long fuckin week of new and activating experiences for me i guess 🫠
but! we! cannot! simply! sit! and! stare! at! our! wounds! forever!
i feel like i'm lying to people if i say i'm a scientist and biologist but like. i'm not. i just haven't caught up yet i guess, emotionally speaking (logically speaking is a different story)
the problem with being creative is that you start to feel very guilty when you haven’t created anything in a while
do you get upset when a field isn't ready for harvest at all times? your seeds are doing mysterious things in the dirt. but you have to leave them hidden in the dirt or they won't grow
There was a pool 🏊♂️ for skeletens 💀 only.
i love flash drives theyre like small animals to me. like minnows
the same creature
it's a weird emotion when somebody goes "doesn't this just shake you to your core and rewrite your dna and change who you are as a person" and your honest experience of it was that it was ok
"Fuck I'm going to get a bad grade in friendship media resonance"
This happens more frequently the older you get.
the thing about putting myself out there into a big scary career where i have to work with other people collaboratively is that it's so fucking triggering at every turn and i can't just tell people the reason i behave like an abused stray dog who expects to be kicked... a lot of this stuff needs to be worked through on my own terms in the first place, like thought distortions, hyper-vigilance, enmeshment trauma etc.
so i always end up in an anxiety spiral about being weird and off-putting unintentionally and want to crawl into a hole and die over like,.. sending a slightly awkward email, over-explaining my thought process for something small or not knowing the answer to a question. and i have been stuck in freeze mode really bad since the start of this year after everything that happened with atlas + the grief which doesn't help but alas!
