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Brick Whartley’s Crab Emporium

@emporium / emporium.tumblr.com

Official Blog of the Tumblr Shop™ run by Brick Whartley back from the Island and ready to become Tumblr's Chief Officer of Merchandising and Physical Object Engineering
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TTFN Sale -- Up to 80% Off Everything

I don't have any clever marketing text or wacky ad graphics. All I came here to say is the store in it's current form is coming to an end. We've still got some inventory left over so I thought why not do a big sale to get it into the hands of people who really want it. The shop will be open from now until Monday at midnight (or until we run out of things to sell). Any leftover inventory will be sent to the tumblr employee store, so if there is anything you want from the shop, now is the time to get it. We won't be offering any of these products for sale to the public ever again. We have deeply discounted Stylized English Ea-Nasir Bracelets (our vendor sent us a bunch of the wrong ones that we got a fantastic deal on) and oops drinkware (where it could be any design, style or color).

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Sticker Sheet Sale

All Sticker Sheets are 50% (while supplies last)

It's time to refresh our sticker offerings so sticker sheets are on sale for 50% off.

Get them while you can, we won't be re-releasing these in the future.

P.S. If you're not interested in stickers please enjoy this joke.

How does a crab feel when it overeats?

Clawful!

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Et tu, Brute? Socks • $10.00

Adorned with a unique design inspired by the infamous assassination of Julius Caesar, these socks are a must-have for history buffs and fashion enthusiasts alike. As you slip them on, feel a whisper of Rome’s ancient grandeur, and remember the ides of March. Perfect for casual wear or as a conversation starter at your next social gathering, our “Et tu, Brute?” socks are more than just footwear – they’re a journey through time.

  • Perfect base for killer Sock Puppets
  • 75% Cotton, 21% Nylon, 4% Lycra
  • Crew Length
  • Regular: Men’s Shoe Size 7 – 12 & Women’s Shoe Size 6 – 11
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Tumblr Yearbook Magnet (Three Pack) • $6.00

So why should you buy a fridge magnet? Well, let’s start with the obvious, they’re the low-cost alternative to a home security system. How, you ask? Well, imagine a burglar entering your kitchen only to be distracted by your impressive collection of magnets from around the world. He might even start organizing them by continent, or wondering why there’s a magnet from a place called ‘Boring, Oregon’!

Now, on a more serious note (or maybe not), they are the perfect tool to hold up your kid’s artwork or those utility bills you keep pretending don’t exist. And let’s face it, your fridge just feels naked without them. In a nutshell, if you ever felt the need for a mini-gallery of randomness in your life, fridge magnets are your best bet!

  • Each order includes 3 magnets
  • 1.96″ x 1.7″ in size
  • Thin & lightweight
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Tumblr Ball Pit Keychain • $6.00

Why buy a keychain? Well, let me tell you, a keychain is not just a piece of plastic to hold your keys together. No, my friend, it’s a statement! It screams to the world, “Look at me! I’m responsible, I have keys, and I know where they are!” It’s a tiny badge of honor, a testament to your adulting skills. A keychain – it’s the superhero we all need, but don’t deserve!

  • 2.31″ x 0.75″ in size
  • Clear snap closure & stainless steel key ring.
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Happy National String Cheese Day

What does string cheese have to do with tumblr? Would it surprise you to hear that over 93.8% of users use their tumblr accounts to talk about cheese? Don't fact check me, I made that up.

But seriously, I need to know what is your favorite type of string cheese. The winner of this poll will be turned into a piece of tumblr merch that will exist forever (or until the robot uprising) so vote wisely.

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Ides of March Socks

I'm working on some new sock ideas and for some reason I was thinking the Ides of March. The designer worked up this concept. Is this something you'd like to see in the shop?

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Tiny Crabs Everywhere Sticker Sheet Set $6.00

Tiny crabs make everything better. Give your friends, family and everyone you meet crabs. 

  • Coppy not included, just used for scale. I want you to know they are truly tiny and not just small
  • Three matte finish 4″ x 5″ sticker sheets in each set
  • 20 individual crab stickers.
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One of my very first forays into coding was on tumblr. Tumblr made learning html/css fun. There were no shortage of other people looking to tinker on their sites and that made it so much more enjoyable. It was the first time I really felt part of a community. Anyone else learn to code on tumblr?

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Izzi Needs Treats

I was sitting here racking my brain trying to figure out a post for this weekend and it came to me. By "it", I mean my puppy Izzi. She decided that she wasn't full from lunch and wanted some treats. I disagreed and she wasn't happy. Then I tried to reason with her and told her while I can't just give her treats I could help her "earn" some. So I'm announcing the Emporium Treat Matching Fund. For every order her cute picture gets me, I'll give her one treat (not all at once, I don't want her getting sick). To get her to wear the shirt for 30 seconds I had to prepay her 3 treats so I need at least that many orders.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do we know you'll actually give Izzi her treats? Oh, she'll keep me honest. She is the most determined person I've ever met. What kind of treats are we talking about? She just got her new BarkBox and they came with Mega Moo Jerky Bites and she seems to like them so we'll start with those.

Is this whole thing just an excuse to show off your puppy? Oh course it is. Come on, she's the prettiest, nicest and most snuggly puppy in the whole world. Why wouldn't I want to show her off.

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Tumblr Water Bottle • $28.00

The ultimate way to get people to leave you alone at the gym.

  • Choose from over 16 different colors
  • Holds 32 oz. of liquid
  • 10 5/16″ tall x 3 11/16″ diameter with lid
  • Removable Lid with Straw
  • Double-wall vacuum insulation

About the Artist

This design was created by Justin. When not helping us make fun products for the tumblr shop you can find him trying his best on Instagram.

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