Let me, someone who was a queer teen, reiterate:
IF YOU ARE A PARENT AND YOUR QUEER CHILD DOES NOT TELL YOU THEY ARE QUEER, IT IS BECAUSE THEY THINK YOU OR YOUR SPOUSE ARE UNSAFE AND WILL HARM THEM.
I add the "or your spouse" part, because while my mom has been an ally for a lot of her life (being big into the disco scene in the 70's and in retail after that with many queer people and remaining close to them), my father was and still is a hyper-conservative Reaganite homophobe who would rather kill me than have a queer child.
I didn't tell my mom I'm queer until I turned 30 - despite me knowing and being out since I was 12 - because I was so scared of my dad. I was still that scared kid who thought my queerphobic dad who has physically abused me in the past for much less significant things than this would hurt or kill me. And that was just telling her after she had been divorced for him, that's how deep that pain went.
If your child doesn't tell, there's a reason.