Transgender Teen Survival Guide

Asked by Anonymous

 Ren says:

It really depends on where your dysphoria is centered! Here is a list of things we suggest for transfeminine self-care, and I’m gonna type up a list of other things you can do before your parents know (I’d link to the original document but it advocates some things that we do not and will not condone, like self medication, which is bad).

Easy Mode (won’t raise any suspicions)

• Focus on schoolwork (if this is possible for you). It’s a distraction, for one thing, but if you plan on going to college or vocational school, you can get more scholarships and do better in higher academics, which means a better job, which means less stress, especially if you’re transitioning on your own.
• Finances. Get a job and start saving up money! This is a distraction and can also help for future transition.

Intermediate Mode (won’t raise suspicions unless they find your stuff)

• Research (including checking out our info for you right here on the blog!).
• Voice. You can start practicing now, as it takes a long time to get right! Here’s some resources: a video, a list of mistakes to avoid, a first lesson (others available on her channel), tips via video, and a book.
• Name. Start figuring out what you want to be called!
• Tuck. Chrissi has an amazing tutorial for this, found here.
• Do the boob thing (i.e. breast forms). You don’t have to buy the fancy kind for this to work! Sometimes simple bras with inserts can do the trick for you.
• Wardrobe. Buy feminine clothing (or get it from trans clothing swaps) and try it on! Be careful with this, though, especially if your family isn’t supportive - some trans girls have gotten kicked out for having skirts.
• Being out on your blog. This is a great opportunity to be gendered properly if you’re still closeted!

Advanced Mode (might raise suspicions)

• Hair. Start growing it out if long hair happens to be your cuppa! Or get a short femme haircut if that’s your style.
• Skin. Take good care of it - wash it twice a day and exfoliate, use sunscreen, moisturize, and check out DIY spa treatments.
• Therapy. You don’t need to find a gender therapist - as long as the therapist is LGBTQ+-friendly, you are probably in decent hands!

Expert Mode (may require being out and may be expensive)

• Hair removal. If that’s a place of significant dysphoria for you, finding a good way to handle it is key! Here’s some at-home options, here’s our shaving tag, and here’s Chrissi’s amazing facial-hair removal masterpost.
• Hormones. Unless you’re over 18 and can do this without parental help, you’ll need to be out for this.
• Coming out. This allows for social transition (i.e. getting people to call you a girl)!

Liana says:

It’s also worth noting that a lot of the so-called “intermediate” or “advanced” things can be done really safely before coming out — notably skin, and breast forms I did in my house a lot before coming out. You can also increase your shaving regimen to include arms, underarms, and legs without arousing that much suspicion — hell, say you lost a bet if you’re called on it.

Just stay safe, but take care of yourself <3