Transgender Teen Survival Guide

Asked by Anonymous

Lee says:

You can bring up the topic of trans people and see how they react if you want to know if they’re transphobic.

You could mention:

• Trans celebrities, like Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, Caitlyn Jenner, Chelsea Manning, etc
  
• Bathroom bills/laws, the fight for gender neutral bathrooms, and trans students like Gavin Grimm
  
• Internet friends or acquaintances who have transitioned
  
• Anti-discrimination laws, troubles trans ppl face, transphobia, etc
  
• Trans characters in the media like in movies and tv shows

Then once you know they’re down, you can give them a letter or note coming out, or just tell them in person, it’s up to you.

You could invite them to hang out, and when you’re together just say something like “Hey, I have something important to tell you. I identify as X gender, and I’d like if you started using Y pronouns to refer to me. I know it’ll take some time to get used to, but it would mean a lot to me. I’ll text/email you some links about how to use my pronouns after we hang out. I’m telling you now because you’re important to me, and I wanted you to know this about me. I’m not any different than who I was all this time, I’ve always been trans, I just didn’t really figure it out until X date, so it’s not like I’ve been lying to you or anything. I’m not out to X people yet, so I’d appreciate if you didn’t tell anyone until I’m ready to come out to them.” etc

Sounding people out to see if they’re accepting of trans people can give you an idea of how they’ll react if you come out, but you can never really know until you do it. Oftentimes the initial reaction is negative but over time they come around.

When it comes to parents, sometimes parents say they’re accepting of trans people but when you come out they act like it’s different since they’re ok with the idea of a trans person but it’s different when it’s their child. Other times parents are transphobic but when you find out they change their mind and accept you since they realize if their kid is trans then being trans isn’t a perversion. 

Followers, any suggestions for testing the waters to see if someone is trans-friendly or transphobic?