jacksisko:

nonbinary transition: final voice update!

After 8 months, I’ve decided to stop taking testosterone – at least for now! I talk about my reasons why a little in this video, but I just want to make it clear that I never intended to take testosterone long term and I am not detransitioning. I’m very happy with where testosterone has taken me physically. 

For me, testosterone has always been a tool to help diminish dysphoria, which it did! My voice was my #1 reason for starting T in the first place and I’m very happy with where it is. If it gets too much lower, I risk being unhappy with it all over again. What I want to avoid is being on it too long and getting dysphoria from the other direction from permanent changes I do not want and can’t undo. 

The way I experience my gender, my nonbinary-ness, means maintaining a certain balance where I feel comfortable. I know that I haven’t been on a high enough dose for a long enough time to pass as male – I never wanted to pass as male, so that’s okay. I know that even being post top surgery with a lower voice than I had pre-t and my name legally changed, I will probably still be clocked as a woman by strangers. That’s … not as okay, it sucks, honestly, but cutting my hair is not something I want to do, and staying on T for the rest of my life isn’t something I want to do, either. So, it is what it is. 

In an ideal world, people wouldn’t assume my assigned gender at birth the moment they look at me and would use neutral pronouns as a default, but since I don’t live in that world, I’m going to pursue my own flavor of happiness within it, and surround myself with as many people who have the same sorts of values as possible. 

Thanks for everything, T.

pre-t || 3 months on t || 5 months on t || 7 months on t 

  1. genderfluix reblogged this from doeofdevotion
  2. kitsch-and-makeup-blog1 said: Do you mind if I ask if you were on the “usual” FTM dose for 8 months? Or was it lower?
  3. agenderboii reblogged this from transgenderteensurvivalguide
  4. nobraincollie said: this is awesome, you look and sound great!
  5. enbnonsense reblogged this from doeofdevotion
  6. doeofdevotion posted this