Reasons Why Washington, DC Is the Worst Place Ever

The United States capital really never had a chance. On July 16, 1790, President George Washington signed the Residence Act, which created a special district to serve as the seat of government for the former colonies of England. Creating a city with the explicit purpose of bottling up all of the most powerful people in the nation guaranteed that it would evolve into a breeding ground for the ruthless, the tactless, and the shameless.

Many of the six million souls who live in the metro area work for, or alongside, the federal bureaucracy. For some of them, life is a never-ending House of Cards-esque quest for power, influence, controlled substances, and sexual gratification. These people pretend their BlackBerry is a lethal weapon, and can only get hard when they see their name on Politico.

For everyone else, Washington, DC is a hellishly humid pit of despair. The city is swarming with 30-year-olds still trying to show off their entry-level position by handing out business cards for a congressional office or obscure think tank—a job that barely pays for rent. Somehow, they’re the lucky ones. The District has been struggling with rampant poverty and crime for decades now, and due to an ossified local government, that’s not changing any time soon.

Here are a few reasons why DC is the petri dish for the virus infecting America:

Photo via Flickr User Elvert Barnes

Washington, DC Is a Celebration of Itself

Washington is basically an open-air museum of America. There are monuments, historical sites, and gift shops dedicated to patriotic tchotchkes everywhere. A mood of reverence and constant satisfaction permeates the entire town. Pride is great, but it’s also that thing that goeth before destruction. For a country that purports to be a haven for reinvention, renewal, and second chances, its capital is preoccupied with patting itself on the back and habitually looking backward. This isn’t all that uncommon for a major world power, but maybe a dose of humility would be helpful when the thousands of well-paid politicians and operatives who live and work here can’t dig the country out of economic and social malaise.

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