Do you ever create a catchphrase with your friends and think you’re so unique and funny but then find out that a lot of other people have the same catchphrase so you stop believing in yourself as a creative person and three years later you’re folding shirts at The Gap wishing you would have written that Buzzfeed listicle you thought of about the 20 best desserts to eat when you’re depressed but then a week later someone else writes that same listicle and you are just like FUCK why is God sending all my good ideas to everyone else on the planet and also why are other people experiencing life the same way I am and also why am I analyzing everything like this WHY CAN’T I LIVE?
Me: I would fuck that male flight attendant in both bathrooms on this plane.
*turbulence*
Me: Dear Lord Jesus on high. Thank you for protecting me during this time of trouble. Please forgive me for my unholy lifestyle. I'm not worthy of your mercy Lord. Praise be to the one true Jesus.
legal-heterophobia