We fell in love with the idea of loving. Lost in our misconceptions and false realizations. We we’re too young, too fragile, at one point we we’re destined to break, dropped onto the floor into a million pieces. It was all just an act, we didn’t know how to truly love one another, we didn’t know what love was. Yet all we wanted was to feel like we we’re loved, we are selfish human beings. Using one another for the simple sake of feeling something.

I just wanted to be with him, eternally drowning in our love without a care in the world.

That was the great thing about being with him, everything was all so natural and effortless. Like I’ve known him for decades. It was just so incredibly easy to fall in love with him.

I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him because it meant finally breathing after holding my breath a minute too long. Because it meant coming back to life with energy bursting through my veins the moment he touches my skin. Because it meant waking up from an endless dream. Because the feeling of his lips pressed against mine could change my world and make everything brighter, louder, faster and alive.

It’s like I looked into his eyes and I was drowning. Slowly sinking, powerless and lost. Every racing thought in my mind simply stopped, and took a breath. I couldn’t move, I felt hypnotized. I knew that I couldn’t let my self fall any longer, I had to swim to the surface of the water, but I couldn’t. Because in that very moment I knew that this boy would ruin my life, and I loved it. I loved the risk, the adrenaline, the feeling that he would love me entirely, I was to lose myself and keep sinking. That is, until I reached the ocean floor, the end of it all. The moment when I realized that I was not sinking into the comfort of a relationship, but dying of a love that hit me like a train the moment I looked into those eyes.

Young love is the butterflies,
and the adrenaline rush when you kiss or simply hold hands…
It is also the heartbreak,
when all the butterflies die and the only adrenaline rush is when you cry…
But one day, what was once young love,
will be true love,
where heartbreak is no longer a word and feelings never leave.

And living without you wouldn’t feel like living at all, you englobed every moment of my life worth remembering. I don’t want to imagine a world without you because it would be like starting over, before we had even met. Like rewinding the painful memories and having to live with them for the rest of my life.

Deciding to look at him was probably the worst decision I’d ever made. I catch myself spending hours of my time hoping, thinking, believing that there is something else left to this hopeless dream I’ve conjured up in my head.

We fell in love hopelessly, desperately searching for a single soul to rely on and cherish. On an endless journey searching for destiny. Once I found you, I decided I was never to let you go because you are to be my last love, the love I’ve waited upon for a lifetime.